More and more people have an online presence today. For some, it’s casual and conversational and sporadic, for their personal use and not necessarily consistent.
For some, it’s a supportive career move. It’s not their job to be online, but doing so lends some additional benefits, connections, visibility.
And for yet others (like me), online presence is a central pillar of their careers.
What’s interesting to me is how our expectations and perceptions of people vary as a result of that, and why.
For the casual observer and participant, we’re pretty open to anything, because we don’t really have expectations outlined already. We think it’s pretty consistent with their presence that they can be here one day but then not for several days, that they can talk about their cat one day and overshare about their family drama the next, and then another day share a great link or two. It’s all fair game.
In the “somewhat business” context, that changes again. And for the fully present and engaged online personas, there are different expectations altogether.
Personally, I’ve observed how people react when I shift my tone of voice or focus, or share something more personal or funny than they might have expected (both to the positive and not). I’ve seen how the web reacts to others who change their mind a bit about what they’re after, or how they’re going to approach their presence from that point forward, for whatever reason.
The big question to me, I guess, is this:
Is it true that the more you participate and engage online, the more responsibility you have to act or behave in line with the expectations of the people around you, whether or not you purposely built them yourself? And can you shift them effectively?
In theory, I know folks are going to say stuff like not being slave to others’ expectations, or that we have to be tolerant change and evolution and human uniqueness. We’ll outwardly say that we don’t expect access to someone based on familiarity, or that we know that everyone has a bad day or changes their mind, or that we understand when someone normally professional starts sharing crazy hamster videos on YouTube.
But we don’t often respond that way (including me). When someone changes the predictable game on us, we rebel, and not always to the positive. Sometimes we’re pleasantly surprised because we see a new side to someone that we didn’t notice before that augments our perception of them, helps us embrace them more. On the flip side, we can toss around accusations like “inauthentic” if our expectations don’t line up with what really goes down.
This is one of those posts where I don’t have answers. I’m not even sure I’m asking the right questions. But there’s something shifting under our feet because of availability, access, information, the density of our networks (or lack thereof) and the ease of presence now that makes us ask different things, actions, and behaviors of each other than we ever have before.
It’s a remarkable shift in human behavior, enabled by technology, that has really captured my attention. It has me both encouraged, and cautious.
Are you feeling this too? How is it impacting you?
I’m in the third category more or less, but I haven’t really “branded myself” to that extent yet. For me, I feel I need to be “true to myself” and honest first, that being like that will payoff more than sticking to a narrower path or making sure I don’t befuddle followers… my $.02 right now.
.-= Rick´s last blog ..never done it that way before… =-.
I’m in the third category more or less, but I haven’t really “branded myself” to that extent yet. For me, I feel I need to be “true to myself” and honest first, that being like that will payoff more than sticking to a narrower path or making sure I don’t befuddle followers… my $.02 right now.
.-= Rick´s last blog ..never done it that way before… =-.
Amber as always you bring up great questions. I am only 3 weeks into tweeting and often wonder if the people that I connect with on a more “business” level become annoyed with me when I tweet about sports, which I really enjoy. What I have decided is that it is all a part of who I am and that I really want to share that with people and want them to share with me. So if people tweet something that isn’t high on my radar, I skim it a little more quickly and file it further in the back of my mind. And then from time to time, I pull those little things out because sometimes they are what brings the connection. I don’t like the idea that we just share 1 part of what makes us who we are. If we do, there’s not really a chance to pretend to “know” each other.
Thanks for sharing the information that you share. Hopefully, I’ll be able to return the favor some day. You have laser insight that really helps the rest of us. And sometimes, when you take a timeout from Twitter, I just assume that you are doing something more valuable to you at the time (and I would never be offended by that or expect you to do anything other than be responsible to yourself.)
Amber as always you bring up great questions. I am only 3 weeks into tweeting and often wonder if the people that I connect with on a more “business” level become annoyed with me when I tweet about sports, which I really enjoy. What I have decided is that it is all a part of who I am and that I really want to share that with people and want them to share with me. So if people tweet something that isn’t high on my radar, I skim it a little more quickly and file it further in the back of my mind. And then from time to time, I pull those little things out because sometimes they are what brings the connection. I don’t like the idea that we just share 1 part of what makes us who we are. If we do, there’s not really a chance to pretend to “know” each other.
Thanks for sharing the information that you share. Hopefully, I’ll be able to return the favor some day. You have laser insight that really helps the rest of us. And sometimes, when you take a timeout from Twitter, I just assume that you are doing something more valuable to you at the time (and I would never be offended by that or expect you to do anything other than be responsible to yourself.)
Pardon me if this turns into a novel.
It’s less the growing responsibility and expectations than it is the growing audience. In your position in particular, you come in contact with such a vast number of people that your online network grows by leaps and bounds every week or so. With the size of your network growing so rapidly, it’s inevitable you’ll get a pile of people who will always be surprised by your one-off comments or minor change in tone, and they’ll never be happy when your persona “changes”. They need consistency and they just can’t connect that there’s a human being on the other side of that monitor of theirs.
There is a certain responsibility to “manage” your presence, though, and I’m not sure there’s a way to counteract it and be all you all the time. Can you have your off days and not incur the wrath of some person or another? Doubt it. On the other hand, can you *comfortably* keep that stuff to yourself all the time when you’ve got such a high demand to be here? You don’t have the luxury of avoiding your networks when you’re bummed or unhappy or miffed about something — it’s your job, and a significant portion of it, to be here.
I’m sure we’ve talked about this before, but I think the key to managing expectations is to be as open and honest about what you’re able to give. It’s important to remind people you’re human and that there will be times when other responsibilities or events in your life will affect the amount of time you can spend responding to people around here and the way in which you handle it all. Everyone seems to forget at some point or another that this online interaction is a piece of the pie, not the whole pie, and a good reminder now and then can’t hurt.
If we’re talking predictability, you can safely predict that not everyone will be pleased with your interactions all the time. I guess it stands to reason, then, that the decision you make regarding how you handle yourself is based on how negatively *you* are affected by how you choose to act and respond around here. As in, is it harder on you to keep it all in and save face, or is it harder to deal with the one-offs who don’t like it when you change gears? At the end of the day, you’ve got to take care of yourself. Self preservation is a tall, but vastly important, order.
I’d say more, but I’m taking up too much room. I’m totally fascinated by the sociological and psychological implications of participating around here, and it’ll be neat to see how others respond.
.-= Teresa Basich´s last blog ..What if I Don’t Want Kids? A Possible Bummer of A Post (Just Warning You) =-.
This. This this this.
I think that your central question is a good one, but it may be incomplete.
What you said:
“Is it true that the more you participate and engage online, the more responsibility you have to act or behave in line with the expectations of the people around you, whether or not you purposely built them yourself? And can you shift them effectively?”
I think what you may have left out is what the potential ramifications of NOT behaving in line with peoples expectations. To me (and I could certainly be misreading), this reads like “What obligation to I have to myself and to others to behave in a certain way in order to avoid pissing people off or causing unnecessary confrontation”.
The answer, IMHO, is “Put exactly as much energy into this as you feel it deserves, and no more.” No matter what you do, someone is going to be annoyed. You can feel like you’re being the most giving, substantive, authentic, rockin chick out there and a quick look at a Qwitter summary will show that 200 people disagree (not that people only unfollow based on a conflict, but that’s a conversation for another post).
This is one of the perils of “celebrity” (and, like it or not, within our little circle, you are an ‘influential’). The pressures of a sizable audience is that there are certain expectations. Look at what horrible things some women (and men) do to their bodies in order to appear to look how theyve always looked since theyve been in the public eye.
People change all the time. People will get pissed off based on stuff you say, people will be shocked that you’re into metal or bacon or in a bad mood or dont get back to them right away. Put exactly as much effort into it as you feel the situation warrants. Theres no surefire way to keep everyone happy with you, all you can do is be the most Amber you can be. Anyone who is truly your friend, or is genuinely interested in what you have to say, will appreciate that over any attempt to manage expectations. We don’t have that kind of time.
Everything changes all the time, and we’re programmed to hate that fact. Sometimes we just have to deal. Don’t stagnate due to anyone’s discomfort.
.-= Jeremy Meyers´s last blog ..The difference between wanting help and being ready to accept help =-.
Teresa,
I thank you for “writing a novel” because I think a lot of what you say applies. I agree that the best way to deal with managing your presence is to be up front about what you’re willing to give when and for what purpose. That said, I also don’t think people should feel like they can’t change what the purpose of their online presence is. In the last year, mine has gone from a strictly personal presence to a supportive career endeavor. My work is not centered around online media, but we are moving toward using more online applications in our work and that, partly, has come about due to my own experience with it in the last year or so. As my presence becomes more and more work- and career-focused, I am monitoring what I say more. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t include personal interests, updates, or information online or that I won’t in the future. I think that as people become more and more involved online, they will become more and more comfortable with information-sharing in general.
As the tools we use online change, the nature of the relationships and the amount of information shared also changes. I remember first getting AOL, then using the instant message feature along with email, reading news on the AOL site once the whir of the dial-up connection had finished. My online relationships then were limited to people I already knew “in real life”. As chat rooms became popular, I was able to “meet” people online. My relationships with people online now are wholly different – with the advent of blogs, relationships deepened and expanded; with sites like myspace and facebook, I was able to connect with former classmates, long lost friends, and now mentors and teachers who have embraced that form of communication; with Twitter and sites like Foursquare and Gowalla, my relationships are changing again. I find that with each form of communication, I have a little bit different rule for what kind of information I share and how often, but these “rules” aren’t dictated by any kind of law or even widely-spread etiquette; I make them up as I go along. And I think that’s probably the best lesson I’ve learned from all of my online experience.
It’s okay to adjust what you share and with whom. As my relationships shift and change, I can connect with people on different levels. As long as I don’t seem to have a split personality, I believe that sharing my own interests and bits of personal information, as well as news articles, tutorials, and other information on the web is both perfectly acceptable and makes me more interesting. (The only exception I would take with this is if someone were to be inauthentic or completely inconsistent with content and opinion.)
Guess I wrote a novel, too. 😉
Sara
.-= SaraKate´s last blog ..074. Merry Go Round: Short and Sweet Spring Edition =-.
Pardon me if this turns into a novel.
It’s less the growing responsibility and expectations than it is the growing audience. In your position in particular, you come in contact with such a vast number of people that your online network grows by leaps and bounds every week or so. With the size of your network growing so rapidly, it’s inevitable you’ll get a pile of people who will always be surprised by your one-off comments or minor change in tone, and they’ll never be happy when your persona “changes”. They need consistency and they just can’t connect that there’s a human being on the other side of that monitor of theirs.
There is a certain responsibility to “manage” your presence, though, and I’m not sure there’s a way to counteract it and be all you all the time. Can you have your off days and not incur the wrath of some person or another? Doubt it. On the other hand, can you *comfortably* keep that stuff to yourself all the time when you’ve got such a high demand to be here? You don’t have the luxury of avoiding your networks when you’re bummed or unhappy or miffed about something — it’s your job, and a significant portion of it, to be here.
I’m sure we’ve talked about this before, but I think the key to managing expectations is to be as open and honest about what you’re able to give. It’s important to remind people you’re human and that there will be times when other responsibilities or events in your life will affect the amount of time you can spend responding to people around here and the way in which you handle it all. Everyone seems to forget at some point or another that this online interaction is a piece of the pie, not the whole pie, and a good reminder now and then can’t hurt.
If we’re talking predictability, you can safely predict that not everyone will be pleased with your interactions all the time. I guess it stands to reason, then, that the decision you make regarding how you handle yourself is based on how negatively *you* are affected by how you choose to act and respond around here. As in, is it harder on you to keep it all in and save face, or is it harder to deal with the one-offs who don’t like it when you change gears? At the end of the day, you’ve got to take care of yourself. Self preservation is a tall, but vastly important, order.
I’d say more, but I’m taking up too much room. I’m totally fascinated by the sociological and psychological implications of participating around here, and it’ll be neat to see how others respond.
.-= Teresa Basich´s last blog ..What if I Don’t Want Kids? A Possible Bummer of A Post (Just Warning You) =-.
This. This this this.
I think that your central question is a good one, but it may be incomplete.
What you said:
“Is it true that the more you participate and engage online, the more responsibility you have to act or behave in line with the expectations of the people around you, whether or not you purposely built them yourself? And can you shift them effectively?”
I think what you may have left out is what the potential ramifications of NOT behaving in line with peoples expectations. To me (and I could certainly be misreading), this reads like “What obligation to I have to myself and to others to behave in a certain way in order to avoid pissing people off or causing unnecessary confrontation”.
The answer, IMHO, is “Put exactly as much energy into this as you feel it deserves, and no more.” No matter what you do, someone is going to be annoyed. You can feel like you’re being the most giving, substantive, authentic, rockin chick out there and a quick look at a Qwitter summary will show that 200 people disagree (not that people only unfollow based on a conflict, but that’s a conversation for another post).
This is one of the perils of “celebrity” (and, like it or not, within our little circle, you are an ‘influential’). The pressures of a sizable audience is that there are certain expectations. Look at what horrible things some women (and men) do to their bodies in order to appear to look how theyve always looked since theyve been in the public eye.
People change all the time. People will get pissed off based on stuff you say, people will be shocked that you’re into metal or bacon or in a bad mood or dont get back to them right away. Put exactly as much effort into it as you feel the situation warrants. Theres no surefire way to keep everyone happy with you, all you can do is be the most Amber you can be. Anyone who is truly your friend, or is genuinely interested in what you have to say, will appreciate that over any attempt to manage expectations. We don’t have that kind of time.
Everything changes all the time, and we’re programmed to hate that fact. Sometimes we just have to deal. Don’t stagnate due to anyone’s discomfort.
.-= Jeremy Meyers´s last blog ..The difference between wanting help and being ready to accept help =-.
Teresa,
I thank you for “writing a novel” because I think a lot of what you say applies. I agree that the best way to deal with managing your presence is to be up front about what you’re willing to give when and for what purpose. That said, I also don’t think people should feel like they can’t change what the purpose of their online presence is. In the last year, mine has gone from a strictly personal presence to a supportive career endeavor. My work is not centered around online media, but we are moving toward using more online applications in our work and that, partly, has come about due to my own experience with it in the last year or so. As my presence becomes more and more work- and career-focused, I am monitoring what I say more. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t include personal interests, updates, or information online or that I won’t in the future. I think that as people become more and more involved online, they will become more and more comfortable with information-sharing in general.
As the tools we use online change, the nature of the relationships and the amount of information shared also changes. I remember first getting AOL, then using the instant message feature along with email, reading news on the AOL site once the whir of the dial-up connection had finished. My online relationships then were limited to people I already knew “in real life”. As chat rooms became popular, I was able to “meet” people online. My relationships with people online now are wholly different – with the advent of blogs, relationships deepened and expanded; with sites like myspace and facebook, I was able to connect with former classmates, long lost friends, and now mentors and teachers who have embraced that form of communication; with Twitter and sites like Foursquare and Gowalla, my relationships are changing again. I find that with each form of communication, I have a little bit different rule for what kind of information I share and how often, but these “rules” aren’t dictated by any kind of law or even widely-spread etiquette; I make them up as I go along. And I think that’s probably the best lesson I’ve learned from all of my online experience.
It’s okay to adjust what you share and with whom. As my relationships shift and change, I can connect with people on different levels. As long as I don’t seem to have a split personality, I believe that sharing my own interests and bits of personal information, as well as news articles, tutorials, and other information on the web is both perfectly acceptable and makes me more interesting. (The only exception I would take with this is if someone were to be inauthentic or completely inconsistent with content and opinion.)
Guess I wrote a novel, too. 😉
Sara
.-= SaraKate´s last blog ..074. Merry Go Round: Short and Sweet Spring Edition =-.
This is definitely an interesting conversation and a dilemma. If you construct your identity as XYZ lover or expert or being super passionate about ONE particular thing, you may be able to stand out more in that field. But what happens when your interests and/or behavior change? Do you lose those followers and your reputation? Hopefully you’ve connected and built real relationships with folks so they’ll want to hear from you even if your interests/kind of content you’re putting out changes. But no doubt, some people won’t stay with you.
.-= Jason Peck´s last blog ..Tactics for Social Media Strikeouts =-.
This is definitely an interesting conversation and a dilemma. If you construct your identity as XYZ lover or expert or being super passionate about ONE particular thing, you may be able to stand out more in that field. But what happens when your interests and/or behavior change? Do you lose those followers and your reputation? Hopefully you’ve connected and built real relationships with folks so they’ll want to hear from you even if your interests/kind of content you’re putting out changes. But no doubt, some people won’t stay with you.
.-= Jason Peck´s last blog ..Tactics for Social Media Strikeouts =-.
Amber, I can always trust you to put into words what others are thinking. My issue is not necessarily one of responsibility, but of branding. When I joined Twitter, I was a solopreneur and engaged primarily in personal conversations, with business being a side dish. But the past 18 months have been huge for my personal and professional growth, and now my brand is larger than just me. It’s a delicate balance, and I’m still trying to figure it all out, but the best I know how to do is to just be me.
Amber, I can always trust you to put into words what others are thinking. My issue is not necessarily one of responsibility, but of branding. When I joined Twitter, I was a solopreneur and engaged primarily in personal conversations, with business being a side dish. But the past 18 months have been huge for my personal and professional growth, and now my brand is larger than just me. It’s a delicate balance, and I’m still trying to figure it all out, but the best I know how to do is to just be me.
I have had to split my online presences into certain goals and interactions. Last year, I played a role as a community manager for a technology site as part of my salaried job, and a lot of those people are now following my current start-up business, Fellowstream. Switching from working for someone to working for myself has definitely affected my online tone. I wonder if things I say now contradict what I might have said representing my company. Not in a bad way, but in that “you’re not being authentic” kind of way. So far, I haven’t found a way to answer that question.
To say nothing of the many different facets of my more personal sites, like my Facebook page or my creative writing blog. Someone who knows me well on Facebook might see me as too “market-y” on my Fellowstream blog, or they might completely enjoy seeing this different side of me. Again, I’m not sure how to gauge that.
For the most part, I try to compartmentalize my interactions like this:
1. Facebook shows the “happy” parts of my personal life. I have too many FB friends to share my doubts, worries, disappointments, etc., and I don’t want to come across as negative. However, I will share the more negative aspects of my life on selected occasions where I think it could help someone else out.
2. Fellowstream twitter and blog for project management topics, which is the focus of the tool. It’s a wide enough topic that it sometimes bleeds over into my personal life, but can be relevant to anyone interested in a different way to view project management.
3. Personal blog and twitter to share anything related to my fiction writing. It’s mostly just for fun, but I can also write social commentary there even if I think it would offend my family and friends.
I’m not sure if this is the right blend, but that’s how I’m rolling for now! 🙂
.-= Deborah Fike´s last blog ..Say that to my Face: Freeloaders =-.
I have had to split my online presences into certain goals and interactions. Last year, I played a role as a community manager for a technology site as part of my salaried job, and a lot of those people are now following my current start-up business, Fellowstream. Switching from working for someone to working for myself has definitely affected my online tone. I wonder if things I say now contradict what I might have said representing my company. Not in a bad way, but in that “you’re not being authentic” kind of way. So far, I haven’t found a way to answer that question.
To say nothing of the many different facets of my more personal sites, like my Facebook page or my creative writing blog. Someone who knows me well on Facebook might see me as too “market-y” on my Fellowstream blog, or they might completely enjoy seeing this different side of me. Again, I’m not sure how to gauge that.
For the most part, I try to compartmentalize my interactions like this:
1. Facebook shows the “happy” parts of my personal life. I have too many FB friends to share my doubts, worries, disappointments, etc., and I don’t want to come across as negative. However, I will share the more negative aspects of my life on selected occasions where I think it could help someone else out.
2. Fellowstream twitter and blog for project management topics, which is the focus of the tool. It’s a wide enough topic that it sometimes bleeds over into my personal life, but can be relevant to anyone interested in a different way to view project management.
3. Personal blog and twitter to share anything related to my fiction writing. It’s mostly just for fun, but I can also write social commentary there even if I think it would offend my family and friends.
I’m not sure if this is the right blend, but that’s how I’m rolling for now! 🙂
.-= Deborah Fike´s last blog ..Say that to my Face: Freeloaders =-.
Amber
This is such a interesting article as this there are expectations that are created of how some believe people should act. Whether that be self induced or created by what they want them to be. A supernatural that never steps outside what is “expected” – which incidentally is created by people who believe that they know someone. This generally happens with people who are more popular and garner more attention. What is most concerning is the backlash or raised eyebrows when people show a side that is what is perceived as outside the way that they generally act or the way they are. Unless you are a part of their personal social circle, how do you really know the way that they are?
I think sometimes that SM almost causes people to create a persona that is driven by the expectations of others that may not always be who they really are. As we watch and see what happens to others when they step outside of their “expected” behavior when positive others may do the same however when negative, I think it substantiates the need/desire to maintain an expected persona. Is that really what social media is about? If we are trying to build relationships with people is this relationship becoming more superficial than for lack of a better term official? Is this not as widespread as it appears to be?
This entire article brings up a lot of thoughts and almost confirms that we are engaging in a space that is not as well defined as people would like to think. If we step outside what people expect we are praised or chastised but yet if we stay within the confines of what is expected we are criticized for not being completely transparent.
Thought provoking for sure and I do not think anyone really has the answers.
@SuzanneVara
Amber
This is such a interesting article as this there are expectations that are created of how some believe people should act. Whether that be self induced or created by what they want them to be. A supernatural that never steps outside what is “expected” – which incidentally is created by people who believe that they know someone. This generally happens with people who are more popular and garner more attention. What is most concerning is the backlash or raised eyebrows when people show a side that is what is perceived as outside the way that they generally act or the way they are. Unless you are a part of their personal social circle, how do you really know the way that they are?
I think sometimes that SM almost causes people to create a persona that is driven by the expectations of others that may not always be who they really are. As we watch and see what happens to others when they step outside of their “expected” behavior when positive others may do the same however when negative, I think it substantiates the need/desire to maintain an expected persona. Is that really what social media is about? If we are trying to build relationships with people is this relationship becoming more superficial than for lack of a better term official? Is this not as widespread as it appears to be?
This entire article brings up a lot of thoughts and almost confirms that we are engaging in a space that is not as well defined as people would like to think. If we step outside what people expect we are praised or chastised but yet if we stay within the confines of what is expected we are criticized for not being completely transparent.
Thought provoking for sure and I do not think anyone really has the answers.
@SuzanneVara
If you meet someone in person, you have lots of data points to form opinions and make judgments. Less so with a phone call. Far less so with an e-mail or social media.
People who “meet” you through social media are very restricted in the tools they have to shape an opinion.
I think this has the effect of magnifying mood or tone changes.
Thus I think it’s critical that you maintain a pattern to your presence. By all means be real, but be consistent.
john
If you meet someone in person, you have lots of data points to form opinions and make judgments. Less so with a phone call. Far less so with an e-mail or social media.
People who “meet” you through social media are very restricted in the tools they have to shape an opinion.
I think this has the effect of magnifying mood or tone changes.
Thus I think it’s critical that you maintain a pattern to your presence. By all means be real, but be consistent.
john
Amber –
You are over-thinking it. My answer to your “big question” …
Is it true that the more you participate and engage online, the more responsibility you have to act or behave in line with the expectations of the people around you, whether or not you purposely built them yourself? And can you shift them effectively?
… is simple. No. Not at all. Your “responsibility” (quotes intentional) is to continue to be who you are, to be a good person, a caring individual, a human who is constantly seeking out new ways to make those around you better, to make a positive difference in life.
I believe very strongly that when you alter your behavior – on or OFF (ha ha) line – you begin to stray from who you are. People will always have opinions – good, bad, indifferent – always. I think you need to be cognizant of how your behaviors map to others’ expectations, but shifting your actions based on what others think means that you are not being you, right?
I’d also like to just copy/paste everything Teresa wrote above. Dang, she’s good.
Peace out, dude. Keep being you. Eva Claire says, “what up.”
DJ Waldow
Director of Community, Blue Sky Factory
@djwaldow
.-= DJ Waldow´s last blog ..Dude =-.
Amber –
You are over-thinking it. My answer to your “big question” …
Is it true that the more you participate and engage online, the more responsibility you have to act or behave in line with the expectations of the people around you, whether or not you purposely built them yourself? And can you shift them effectively?
… is simple. No. Not at all. Your “responsibility” (quotes intentional) is to continue to be who you are, to be a good person, a caring individual, a human who is constantly seeking out new ways to make those around you better, to make a positive difference in life.
I believe very strongly that when you alter your behavior – on or OFF (ha ha) line – you begin to stray from who you are. People will always have opinions – good, bad, indifferent – always. I think you need to be cognizant of how your behaviors map to others’ expectations, but shifting your actions based on what others think means that you are not being you, right?
I’d also like to just copy/paste everything Teresa wrote above. Dang, she’s good.
Peace out, dude. Keep being you. Eva Claire says, “what up.”
DJ Waldow
Director of Community, Blue Sky Factory
@djwaldow
.-= DJ Waldow´s last blog ..Dude =-.
I’ve been thinking about this a little lately because another blog I like has recently changed. Posts are fewer, not as imaginative or contemplative and the topics show that the blogger has developed new interests which perhaps don’t align with the reasons I started reading the blog in the first place. I loved the iconoclast. The blogger has found mainstream success which seems to have blunted the edge a little. I’m just guessing but I think once you gain “status” you do have to meet the expectations of the larger numbers in the middle rather than the edge. It really depends on what you want and whether you can live with the consequences. I started blogging because I wanted to see what worked. I post radically different stuff from personal Christmas video to think pieces and poor cartoons. Although my blog is not popular by any stretch, I have figures on what people spend more time with and what gets the most hits. And people are looking for things with an original voice I find – because that’s the only thing which will separate you from the rest who have all the expectations.
I’ve been thinking about this a little lately because another blog I like has recently changed. Posts are fewer, not as imaginative or contemplative and the topics show that the blogger has developed new interests which perhaps don’t align with the reasons I started reading the blog in the first place. I loved the iconoclast. The blogger has found mainstream success which seems to have blunted the edge a little. I’m just guessing but I think once you gain “status” you do have to meet the expectations of the larger numbers in the middle rather than the edge. It really depends on what you want and whether you can live with the consequences. I started blogging because I wanted to see what worked. I post radically different stuff from personal Christmas video to think pieces and poor cartoons. Although my blog is not popular by any stretch, I have figures on what people spend more time with and what gets the most hits. And people are looking for things with an original voice I find – because that’s the only thing which will separate you from the rest who have all the expectations.
Your blog hit home for what I’m dealing with. I just started a blog about a little over a month ago. It is on my journey of starting a company from the ground up. For the most part I’m pumped up about it, etc… but with anything there are highs and lows. I was supposed to post something yesterday but didn’t as I knew it wouldn’t be upbeat. I know that is what people want but at the same time it truly isn’t a real perspective on what is happening right now. After reading your blog and the comments, I know what I need to do….keep it real.
Thanks!
.-= Sally´s last blog ..The Goal =-.
Your blog hit home for what I’m dealing with. I just started a blog about a little over a month ago. It is on my journey of starting a company from the ground up. For the most part I’m pumped up about it, etc… but with anything there are highs and lows. I was supposed to post something yesterday but didn’t as I knew it wouldn’t be upbeat. I know that is what people want but at the same time it truly isn’t a real perspective on what is happening right now. After reading your blog and the comments, I know what I need to do….keep it real.
Thanks!
.-= Sally´s last blog ..The Goal =-.
Insightful post, Amber. As a long time blogger in the field of personal development, I’ve recently taken a 12 week detour to explore the world of social media. With the change, I’ve noticed a decided shift in my traffic and my comments. At first when my traffic took a decided dip, I thought about giving up the new course and going back to the predictable one. But new voices have appeared and the conversation has become more interesting… and some of my old friends have jumped on board.
It reminds me of Seth Godin’s book, The Dip. With any change there may be a natural dip… and powering through that dip makes the difference between success and failure. It certainly seems to be the case with my blog.
.-= John Richardson´s last blog ..Social Media: Setting Up a Facebook Account =-.
Insightful post, Amber. As a long time blogger in the field of personal development, I’ve recently taken a 12 week detour to explore the world of social media. With the change, I’ve noticed a decided shift in my traffic and my comments. At first when my traffic took a decided dip, I thought about giving up the new course and going back to the predictable one. But new voices have appeared and the conversation has become more interesting… and some of my old friends have jumped on board.
It reminds me of Seth Godin’s book, The Dip. With any change there may be a natural dip… and powering through that dip makes the difference between success and failure. It certainly seems to be the case with my blog.
.-= John Richardson´s last blog ..Social Media: Setting Up a Facebook Account =-.
I have been thinking about this lately but more from a “how do I want to set up my virtual identities” standpoint than a “how do I manage virtual expectations” standpoint. In fact, I wrote a post called href=”http://bit.ly/aDQAZd”>Virtual Anonymity just a couple of weeks ago.
I use my professional identity (my real name) when participating in conversations on a professional level (Linkedin, marketing blog comments, etc.). My FB identity is also my real name, but I guard that territory. I feel no guilt ignoring friend requests from professional acquaintances – I’ve chosen this place to surround myself with real friends…who else will love me even if I throw up a political link here and there? 😉
I have two personal blogs. One contains material that I prefer to post with relative anonymity – though I have shared it with many personal friends, my real name will not be found on the “About” page. I post to the other using the blog’s name (Pot Luck Mama) I use that name when commenting on many of the non-professional blogs I follow to build the brand. (Talk about hedging your bets…it would be difficult to call me out for being inconsistent when the blog itself is billed as a “pot luck” of content!-flip side? Non-niche blog = unique marketing challenge!)
In the next couple of weeks I’ll begin writing on a new corporate blog. It will be hosted on the community section of a cooking school’s site and I actually think Pot Luck Mama may be appropriate & fun to use there but I’ve not decided yet.
I guess what I read in your post is a caution that was already nipping at my mind. I love this virtual world and enjoy being a part of it, but I want to lay my identity framework to protect me from being drained (as it sounds you are). Even as I type, though, I wonder if the steps I’m taking in choosing name/identity can even do that? If it’s my voice in the words and my SELF behind the curtain, then won’t any demands made still be made of me, whether I call myself Beth, Pot Luck Mama, or Billy Ray Cyrus? I guess the question your post calls to my mind is: Knowing what you know now about the challenges of having a high-profile virtual personality, would you change anything you did in creating it? What advice would you give newbies like me who are making identity and disclosure choices daily?
.-= Beth Coetzee´s last blog ..Good Businesses in a Price Economy =-.
I have been thinking about this lately but more from a “how do I want to set up my virtual identities” standpoint than a “how do I manage virtual expectations” standpoint. In fact, I wrote a post called href=”http://bit.ly/aDQAZd”>Virtual Anonymity just a couple of weeks ago.
I use my professional identity (my real name) when participating in conversations on a professional level (Linkedin, marketing blog comments, etc.). My FB identity is also my real name, but I guard that territory. I feel no guilt ignoring friend requests from professional acquaintances – I’ve chosen this place to surround myself with real friends…who else will love me even if I throw up a political link here and there? 😉
I have two personal blogs. One contains material that I prefer to post with relative anonymity – though I have shared it with many personal friends, my real name will not be found on the “About” page. I post to the other using the blog’s name (Pot Luck Mama) I use that name when commenting on many of the non-professional blogs I follow to build the brand. (Talk about hedging your bets…it would be difficult to call me out for being inconsistent when the blog itself is billed as a “pot luck” of content!-flip side? Non-niche blog = unique marketing challenge!)
In the next couple of weeks I’ll begin writing on a new corporate blog. It will be hosted on the community section of a cooking school’s site and I actually think Pot Luck Mama may be appropriate & fun to use there but I’ve not decided yet.
I guess what I read in your post is a caution that was already nipping at my mind. I love this virtual world and enjoy being a part of it, but I want to lay my identity framework to protect me from being drained (as it sounds you are). Even as I type, though, I wonder if the steps I’m taking in choosing name/identity can even do that? If it’s my voice in the words and my SELF behind the curtain, then won’t any demands made still be made of me, whether I call myself Beth, Pot Luck Mama, or Billy Ray Cyrus? I guess the question your post calls to my mind is: Knowing what you know now about the challenges of having a high-profile virtual personality, would you change anything you did in creating it? What advice would you give newbies like me who are making identity and disclosure choices daily?
.-= Beth Coetzee´s last blog ..Good Businesses in a Price Economy =-.
This is a great question to ask, and I think it boils down to one statement: your readers are afraid of surprises.
If John Grisham’s new book was a grocery story checkout aisle romance novel, he would shock, and subsequently turn off, a lot of his readers.
Same goes for our blogs.
I used to think that bloggers who focused entirely on one subject were pigeonholing themselves. Then I came to the realization that that strategy is the best way to build an audience.
Your readers come to expect certain content, and a certain style. Anything that deviates from this expectation doesn’t sit well with them.
I recently decided to focus more on PR and media (which was my original intent) when my NCAA tournament bracket entry received, literally, two visits. I knew it was time to get away from the personal stuff, and move more toward my expertise.
This is a great question to ask, and I think it boils down to one statement: your readers are afraid of surprises.
If John Grisham’s new book was a grocery story checkout aisle romance novel, he would shock, and subsequently turn off, a lot of his readers.
Same goes for our blogs.
I used to think that bloggers who focused entirely on one subject were pigeonholing themselves. Then I came to the realization that that strategy is the best way to build an audience.
Your readers come to expect certain content, and a certain style. Anything that deviates from this expectation doesn’t sit well with them.
I recently decided to focus more on PR and media (which was my original intent) when my NCAA tournament bracket entry received, literally, two visits. I knew it was time to get away from the personal stuff, and move more toward my expertise.
Very thought provoking. It’s interesting; there have been a couple posts I’ve seen recently about “online reputation” (as if it’s different than regular reputation) and I think it all fits together.
No matter what your level of engagement, you are defined by what you say online. Just as, “in real life”, you are defined both by what you way AND what you do.
The real question then becomes, how do you choose to present yourself?
Because really, particularly in a public forum like Twitter, you are talking in public. For example, I tend to NOT have conversations on my cellphone when I’m on public transit. I choose to refrain from engaging in private conversations in a public forum. I would say the same applies to ALL public forums, online or otherwise.
As humans, it’s all we have to go by. We know other people by what they say and what they do. That is all.
.-= Geoff´s last blog ..F5 Expo to host Cloud Computing panel April 7, 2010 =-.
Very thought provoking. It’s interesting; there have been a couple posts I’ve seen recently about “online reputation” (as if it’s different than regular reputation) and I think it all fits together.
No matter what your level of engagement, you are defined by what you say online. Just as, “in real life”, you are defined both by what you way AND what you do.
The real question then becomes, how do you choose to present yourself?
Because really, particularly in a public forum like Twitter, you are talking in public. For example, I tend to NOT have conversations on my cellphone when I’m on public transit. I choose to refrain from engaging in private conversations in a public forum. I would say the same applies to ALL public forums, online or otherwise.
As humans, it’s all we have to go by. We know other people by what they say and what they do. That is all.
.-= Geoff´s last blog ..F5 Expo to host Cloud Computing panel April 7, 2010 =-.
Your online presence is about you. The major responsibility you have well communicating online is to accurately represent who you are. If that means dancing hamsters every once in awhile so be it. As Julie from Writing Roads said in one of her posts http://bit.ly/clngpo your success depends on your authenticity.
When writing online I’d say our major goal should be that when people finally, if ever, meet us in person they aren’t surprised.
Your online presence is about you. The major responsibility you have well communicating online is to accurately represent who you are. If that means dancing hamsters every once in awhile so be it. As Julie from Writing Roads said in one of her posts http://bit.ly/clngpo your success depends on your authenticity.
When writing online I’d say our major goal should be that when people finally, if ever, meet us in person they aren’t surprised.
Such an insightful post and I’ve loved the comments.
I’ve a Twitter account, FB, LinkedIn Friendfeed and use various professional forums – but there is more to me than just being a Search Marketer.
On Facebook I like to have fun and share pictures of friends I grew up with and never see, friends I live near to and dont meet up with enough, friends and family who appreciate funny stories and updates in my life – not work and I share more mundane but personal updates. I have started to take offence at colleagues who post about Social Media as I read these in my own time and see LinkedIn as the network within which to share these ideas.
Twitter is more flexible and I feel I can share with followers a mix of the good, the bad, the professional and the funny, but when I read a blog I have expectations about what that person is going to say and would argue that these expectations are the reason I follow the blog in the first place.
In essence, I think we can show different sides of our personality in different online locations using different networks and tools but underneath this there is a consistency of approach – it all comes back to knowing your audience and why they interact with you in a particular place and engaging with them on that level.
So, right now I am going to bookmark this blog as the place to read stimulating and informative social media updates!
Gail
Such an insightful post and I’ve loved the comments.
I’ve a Twitter account, FB, LinkedIn Friendfeed and use various professional forums – but there is more to me than just being a Search Marketer.
On Facebook I like to have fun and share pictures of friends I grew up with and never see, friends I live near to and dont meet up with enough, friends and family who appreciate funny stories and updates in my life – not work and I share more mundane but personal updates. I have started to take offence at colleagues who post about Social Media as I read these in my own time and see LinkedIn as the network within which to share these ideas.
Twitter is more flexible and I feel I can share with followers a mix of the good, the bad, the professional and the funny, but when I read a blog I have expectations about what that person is going to say and would argue that these expectations are the reason I follow the blog in the first place.
In essence, I think we can show different sides of our personality in different online locations using different networks and tools but underneath this there is a consistency of approach – it all comes back to knowing your audience and why they interact with you in a particular place and engaging with them on that level.
So, right now I am going to bookmark this blog as the place to read stimulating and informative social media updates!
Gail
This is an interesting question.
I find that I do expect certain pattern of behavior for people I follow for professional info, and excessive personal details or over-sharing does annoy me, especially if the ratio of useless to useful info is high.
I’ve been known to unfollow people if they post numerous foursquare check-ins (do I really need to know their itinerary hour by hour?). I’ve also unfollowed people because they freely drop the f-bombs.
But the beauty of Twitter especially is that you don’t have an obligation to keep following someone, if their updates irritate you or don’t add value to you personally. So it’s all good!
.-= Ksenia Coffman´s last blog ..ISC West 2010 Daily Recaps; ISC West vs ASIS =-.
This is an interesting question.
I find that I do expect certain pattern of behavior for people I follow for professional info, and excessive personal details or over-sharing does annoy me, especially if the ratio of useless to useful info is high.
I’ve been known to unfollow people if they post numerous foursquare check-ins (do I really need to know their itinerary hour by hour?). I’ve also unfollowed people because they freely drop the f-bombs.
But the beauty of Twitter especially is that you don’t have an obligation to keep following someone, if their updates irritate you or don’t add value to you personally. So it’s all good!
.-= Ksenia Coffman´s last blog ..ISC West 2010 Daily Recaps; ISC West vs ASIS =-.
Wow, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this same conversation with people over the past few weeks. For me, it really does come down to responsibility. As I engage more and people engage back more, I do feel like I have a responsibility to be more useful, more helpful, more fair…and that’s definitely changed how I engage online, especially through mediums like Twitter. I’m pretty good at the ranting and making quick judgments… but now I tend to hold back more (WHICH IS SO HARD!) because I don’t want a quick jab from me to cause an issue for someone else. I don’t know that it’s “right” or “wrong” but I know that it’s change the way I look at Twitter. I know that it’s taken the “me” out of it a bit because I don’t want to ruin someone else’s day with a careless comment that others may hop on.
You’re supposed to be “you” in social media, but what does that really mean? I think at this point I’ve chosen to be the more grown up version of me, instead of the kid that goes on daily rants and raves — which is odd because that’s arguably why people were drawn to me in the first place. I think I’ve entered my awkward adolescent phase in social media. 🙂
Wow, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had this same conversation with people over the past few weeks. For me, it really does come down to responsibility. As I engage more and people engage back more, I do feel like I have a responsibility to be more useful, more helpful, more fair…and that’s definitely changed how I engage online, especially through mediums like Twitter. I’m pretty good at the ranting and making quick judgments… but now I tend to hold back more (WHICH IS SO HARD!) because I don’t want a quick jab from me to cause an issue for someone else. I don’t know that it’s “right” or “wrong” but I know that it’s change the way I look at Twitter. I know that it’s taken the “me” out of it a bit because I don’t want to ruin someone else’s day with a careless comment that others may hop on.
You’re supposed to be “you” in social media, but what does that really mean? I think at this point I’ve chosen to be the more grown up version of me, instead of the kid that goes on daily rants and raves — which is odd because that’s arguably why people were drawn to me in the first place. I think I’ve entered my awkward adolescent phase in social media. 🙂
Amber,
In response to the second part of your question: Can you change the expectations? I think you can, but you have to do it the right way. I think you definitely alienate your community if you have been blogging about social media strategy; then one day you just change and decide the blog will be about posting animal videos.
That’s too large and radical a change, too abruptly.
If you change incrementally, or perhaps give a warning to your community that you will be shifting focus, explain why, and let your readers know that they need to shift their expectations; then I think it works.
I did it with my blog, and according to my analytics, I really have not lost readers to my community.
.-= Jeremy Fischer´s last blog ..Out Sick! =-.
Amber,
In response to the second part of your question: Can you change the expectations? I think you can, but you have to do it the right way. I think you definitely alienate your community if you have been blogging about social media strategy; then one day you just change and decide the blog will be about posting animal videos.
That’s too large and radical a change, too abruptly.
If you change incrementally, or perhaps give a warning to your community that you will be shifting focus, explain why, and let your readers know that they need to shift their expectations; then I think it works.
I did it with my blog, and according to my analytics, I really have not lost readers to my community.
.-= Jeremy Fischer´s last blog ..Out Sick! =-.
Amber, I’m somewhere between “supportive career move” and “online presence is central” to my job. So while I started off cautiously as to what I was posting, Tweeting and sharing, very quickly I’ve become more comfortable and let my personality as well as my professionalism come out and play.
It’s helped me make real connections, get the most out of what I’m putting into SM. Like Laura, for me it’s about the balance for me, vs. managing expectations of others. FWIW.
.-= Davina K. Brewer´s last blog ..Think Global, Pitch Local Atlanta =-.
Amber, I’m somewhere between “supportive career move” and “online presence is central” to my job. So while I started off cautiously as to what I was posting, Tweeting and sharing, very quickly I’ve become more comfortable and let my personality as well as my professionalism come out and play.
It’s helped me make real connections, get the most out of what I’m putting into SM. Like Laura, for me it’s about the balance for me, vs. managing expectations of others. FWIW.
.-= Davina K. Brewer´s last blog ..Think Global, Pitch Local Atlanta =-.
Hi Amber,
Our online persona is just an extension of our self. We are not always about the same in real life, we have a variety of interests. The only difference is, that our online persona lacks the nuances that come from a face-to-face encounter.
I like hearing personal experiences from people I work with. I also like to hear the professional experiences as well. But no matter what, I don’t want to hear what they ate for breakfast or that they watched TV with their dog.
I the responsibility we have is to be true to ourself. Carry yourself online the same way you would in-person.
.-= Mike McCready´s last blog ..Social Media ROI =-.
Hi Amber,
Our online persona is just an extension of our self. We are not always about the same in real life, we have a variety of interests. The only difference is, that our online persona lacks the nuances that come from a face-to-face encounter.
I like hearing personal experiences from people I work with. I also like to hear the professional experiences as well. But no matter what, I don’t want to hear what they ate for breakfast or that they watched TV with their dog.
I the responsibility we have is to be true to ourself. Carry yourself online the same way you would in-person.
.-= Mike McCready´s last blog ..Social Media ROI =-.
I’ve been thinking of the same thing over here while starting to work in the internet/social media/communities field. My approach to this is just to be me, i know people would expect me to share useful links and posts, but making it me has also helped me to build some close relationships with people around me and get to know them in person. Finally this closer relationships is what we try to do for our employers or businesses and yet we tend to try and scale back our personality to avoid the possibility for us as persons, which will be the more natural thing to do.
Somehow we’re humanizing the brands and dehumanizing ourselves. My approach is that you have to work with expectations of people, but you need to control them and see how the reaction to sharing more of “you” is doing and do it slowly. People are trying to build better relationships on-line, my expectation of being online is that i can share with people i find interesting not only professionally, but personally. Of course that to shift back to sharing a bit more of your life may be complicated because we’ve been used to sharing just a higher version of ourselves or a modified self, but if done slowly i think that it will work. And finally in the long term being fully you online is what’s going to make the difference.
The thing we need to remember is that as humans we are personalities, ever changing and evolving, not brands. Brands are an attempt to create a personality to something that has none and therefore we as humans can’t have one without losing some humanity.
.-= Jorge´s last blog ..Book Club on Steroids =-.
I’ve been thinking of the same thing over here while starting to work in the internet/social media/communities field. My approach to this is just to be me, i know people would expect me to share useful links and posts, but making it me has also helped me to build some close relationships with people around me and get to know them in person. Finally this closer relationships is what we try to do for our employers or businesses and yet we tend to try and scale back our personality to avoid the possibility for us as persons, which will be the more natural thing to do.
Somehow we’re humanizing the brands and dehumanizing ourselves. My approach is that you have to work with expectations of people, but you need to control them and see how the reaction to sharing more of “you” is doing and do it slowly. People are trying to build better relationships on-line, my expectation of being online is that i can share with people i find interesting not only professionally, but personally. Of course that to shift back to sharing a bit more of your life may be complicated because we’ve been used to sharing just a higher version of ourselves or a modified self, but if done slowly i think that it will work. And finally in the long term being fully you online is what’s going to make the difference.
The thing we need to remember is that as humans we are personalities, ever changing and evolving, not brands. Brands are an attempt to create a personality to something that has none and therefore we as humans can’t have one without losing some humanity.
.-= Jorge´s last blog ..Book Club on Steroids =-.
one of the amazing post I have ever observed in this forum. I found this really much useful for my future work. Thank a person very much .
one of the amazing post I have ever observed in this forum. I found this really much useful for my future work. Thank a person very much .