I’ve been guilty of paying far too much attention to what other people are doing.
Specifically, I’ve channeled too much energy into getting frustrated at other people’s behavior, or their points of view, or their approaches to problems that I would solve differently. I’ve gotten frustrated at the lack of originality or inspiration around me, or lamented the loss of standards of business excellence, or felt like “we” could be doing so much better.
And you know what?I’m being a jackass.
That doesn’t solve anything. Moreover, no one owes me a damned thing.
In fact, the only person I should really be worried about is me. How well am I building my business? Am I focusing my attention where it’s most needed and useful? Am I paying attention to the people and things that make be better, not the ones that drag me backwards or get me stuck somewhere I’ve been for too long?
When it all comes down to it, what other people are doing doesn’t matter.
I’m responsible for the information I take in, for the inspiration I find, for the work that I do.
I’m responsible for removing my attention from something or someone when it no longer helps propel me forward, and I’m responsible for raising my game and skating to where the puck is going to be, not where it was ten minutes ago.
If something is missing from the world, perhaps instead of whining about it, it’s time for me to go create it.
When I’m feeling frustrated or like I’m lacking direction or focus, the answer is not looking sideways and getting all wrapped around the axle about what everyone else is up to (or not). I can’t change them.
The only person I control is me, and the only outcomes I can truly own are the ones I create.
So, when I feel lost, it’s up to me to redraw the map.
It’s natural sometimes to get off track, especially when you’re building something or somethings and you spend the majority of your time worried about how it will all turn out. It’s human nature to look for blame sometimes instead of taking responsibility. Responsibility, after all, is a lot harder.
But take it from me.
You don’t find momentum standing in one spot, looking around you, and concerning yourself with where everyone else is headed.
You find it by looking straight ahead and carving a new trail.
I’d cut yourself a wee bit of slack for one reason, Amber. Yes, your point is absolutely valid about concentrating on what you can control above all. But there can be merit in trying to influence others positively away from bad behaviors – sure, if you become obsessed about that instead of carving a new trail yourself, then yes, that’s taking your eye off the ball. As long as you can prioritize your goals yet encourage others to change their practices for their own betterment, that’s fighting the good fight while focusing on what’s most important for you.
You’re right of course, Dan. So I’m definitely reacting to the pendulum swinging too far in the direction of my focus resting where it shouldn’t.
If I didn’t believe that efforts to help others improve were worthwhile, I’d be out of a job. 🙂 But you can’t help people who don’t want it, and it’s pretty arrogant to assume that you’re always the one who knows how to do it better.
So it’s my own kick to myself to look around and find good work to inspire and motivate me that can help me improve, not keep me stagnant. It’s a subtle difference, but it’s an important one.
I’m sending you cyber crayons and pencil crayons and quill pens and sharpies (well, you get the point) to redraw that map. Wise words. Cheers! Kaarina
I love all things drawing and stationery related, so I’ll absolutely take that. I can’t draw, but I love writing stuff. I’m dangerous near an office supply store. 🙂
Thank you so much for the inspiration today. It was something I desperately needed. I’ve spent the last three years letting other people’s beliefs and advice get into my head, that it clouded my judgement and stopped me from moving forward. Wise words.
Great post and totally what I needed to hear right now. I’m struggling a little bit with focus myself.
I agree with Dan about keeping some peripheral vision even while focused straight ahead. I also try to remember that others’ decisions often involve factors I know nothing about. I regularly hear from people ideas that could make a difference in my business, and they are usually very good ideas which I would take advantage of… except for the priorities I’ve set that take precedence. Those people don’t know why I make the decisions I do, and if they did they would likely make similar choices. So when someone else looks to be doing something that doesn’t make sense from my business perspective, I try to remember that I don’t see the world from their vantage point.
Amber, your self evaluations are helpful to others, bringing to light things we may need to review in ourselves. So keep up the good work, gal. Thanks.
Must be the lack of sunlight. I had this same pep talk with myself a couple of weeks ago. I finally told myself- don’t dwell on what you can’t do, instead focus on what you can do. It made me feel better.