One of the important points I often make about social media, engagement, customer experience, and anything related to human connection is that we, as individuals, don’t scale. Singular human touchpoints and interactions have limits. Period. It’s a reality of physics and the space time continuum (or something).
You cannot and should not be everywhere nor available to everyone. Diluting yourself across the breadth of everything means that you will ever merely touch an experience or a person, and you’ll never absorb anything in depth. When it comes to this, personal accountability is important. You have to employ filters and do the work to determine what’s working and what isn’t. Ditch the stuff that isn’t. Do more of what works. And when it comes to business, sometimes the only answer to creating more connections is to have more people to do the connecting.
If you’re sucked into the habit of chasing every opportunity for fear of missing one, you’ll surely lose the bandwidth to actually act on the ones that are alive in front of you.
And if you’re dissipating your energy in micropieces so that you can give everything a moment, you will shortchange the established relationships you have invested in, the rich opportunities on the table in front of you, the work that’s paying your bills right now, and the important moments of freedom that you must reserve in order to evaluate, plan, and move on what’s next.
Where this gets messy is in dealing with the people – the human beings themselves – on the other end of all of these things.
The very nature of today’s open, velocity-rich and utterly accessible communication means that we – all of us – are increasing our expectations for access, responsiveness, and attention accordingly. We are demanding that people mirror the technologies through which we connect with them, asking them to be continuously available, democratically responsive, and utterly open-source with regard to their knowledge, expertise, and time.
But it doesn’t work that way.
We are not machines. We have networked and mechanized the nerve centers of our worlds, but we are not automatons. We have got to stop expecting that of ourselves, and most importantly, we have to stop expecting it of others around us simply because the tools have made connection possible.
Community, access, and sharing are beautiful things, but they are not implicit. They are earned. They are reciprocal. And while we ask others to understand and sympathize with our own human-based limitations, we often do a crappy job of respecting the limitations and humanity of others, even in a business sense.
So I’m putting this to you as I think about it myself. It applies to our personal interactions, and to the humanization of business as we’re trying to build it.
While we have so readily embraced the potential of limitless surface connections, let us remember that the nodes on these massive, interwoven networks are the very humans we want to find. Allow yourself filters, priorities, and limits. Respect that others have filters, priorities, and limits of their own, and that you may not see or be privy to them all.
And understand that if we are truly seeking connectivity between people and not machines, we must employ some tolerance and acceptance for the imperfections of humanity that come alongside.
Great Observation. We live in a world that now offers so many more (and easier to participate in) opportunities yet our time is far more limited (as is our attention spans). The thing I’m slowly starting to learn is you have to start carefully choosing what you sign up for and optimize on the projects that really capture your passions.
Great Observation. We live in a world that now offers so many more (and easier to participate in) opportunities yet our time is far more limited (as is our attention spans). The thing I’m slowly starting to learn is you have to start carefully choosing what you sign up for and optimize on the projects that really capture your passions.
Nicely done. Funny, Amber, I had planned a biz-dev project for this Monday morning that is a small opportunity for our firm. Someone is interested in working with us, and it’s not really a fit. Was thinking of chasing it … but now may just say “no.” That will probably hurt the feelings of the person on the other side briefly, but in the long run, will do us both a favor.
Saying no is a hard thing for those of us who want to say yes to every relationship, but you’re right, making the real connections count is more important.
PS if my action tomorrow backfires, I’m holding you accountable!
Ben
Nicely done. Funny, Amber, I had planned a biz-dev project for this Monday morning that is a small opportunity for our firm. Someone is interested in working with us, and it’s not really a fit. Was thinking of chasing it … but now may just say “no.” That will probably hurt the feelings of the person on the other side briefly, but in the long run, will do us both a favor.
Saying no is a hard thing for those of us who want to say yes to every relationship, but you’re right, making the real connections count is more important.
PS if my action tomorrow backfires, I’m holding you accountable!
Ben
It happened to me a lot during the past year that i was not able to say no to a project and committed to everything that passed in front of me. It finally lead to lot’s of problems with the people i was working with. I agree to the fact that we need to be selective in what we’ll do and this finally can give us better relationships with everyone because we don’t commit to what we can’t do and we are able to accomplish our goals in the projects we’re participating in.
It happened to me a lot during the past year that i was not able to say no to a project and committed to everything that passed in front of me. It finally lead to lot’s of problems with the people i was working with. I agree to the fact that we need to be selective in what we’ll do and this finally can give us better relationships with everyone because we don’t commit to what we can’t do and we are able to accomplish our goals in the projects we’re participating in.
This has been my refrain for the last two years for any instance in which anyone asks me why I left a ‘dream job’. Thanks for bringing more detail to the maxim. “Social media” is not a role; it is an important function of a business in today’s environment of B2C interactions.
This has been my refrain for the last two years for any instance in which anyone asks me why I left a ‘dream job’. Thanks for bringing more detail to the maxim. “Social media” is not a role; it is an important function of a business in today’s environment of B2C interactions.
Amber,
You have raised a great point. All these tools have allowed us to become “better listeners” and “stay connected”. But the same time, it has posed tremendous challenges on each one of us to “engage” and “build relationships”.
Time management and striking a balance and when to say “no” will be key to maintaining sanity.
Amber,
You have raised a great point. All these tools have allowed us to become “better listeners” and “stay connected”. But the same time, it has posed tremendous challenges on each one of us to “engage” and “build relationships”.
Time management and striking a balance and when to say “no” will be key to maintaining sanity.
Reminds me of when my wife and I were planning out our offspring… I wanted one, she wanted five… we stopped at three. My biggest concern with having so many kids was how to spread the love. Turns out there is tons of love to spread on three. 🙂
However, sit down and watch an episode of “18 Kids and Counting” and see that while the love spreads, it can get a little thin near the crust… and nobody likes a dry sandwich – NOBODY.
Reminds me of when my wife and I were planning out our offspring… I wanted one, she wanted five… we stopped at three. My biggest concern with having so many kids was how to spread the love. Turns out there is tons of love to spread on three. 🙂
However, sit down and watch an episode of “18 Kids and Counting” and see that while the love spreads, it can get a little thin near the crust… and nobody likes a dry sandwich – NOBODY.
Amber, as always, you have a way of reminding people of things that matter… thx.
Amber, as always, you have a way of reminding people of things that matter… thx.
“Humans Don’t Scale”
This is always going to be the biggest dilemma of business is how to most effectively deploy your time ant your peoples time. With a new social media project launching every day it can turn a few great tools into a giant pile of frustration.
It reminds me of a saying “If you try to be everything to everyone you become nothing to no one.”
“Humans Don’t Scale”
This is always going to be the biggest dilemma of business is how to most effectively deploy your time ant your peoples time. With a new social media project launching every day it can turn a few great tools into a giant pile of frustration.
It reminds me of a saying “If you try to be everything to everyone you become nothing to no one.”
“And if you’re dissipating your energy in micropieces so that you can give everything a moment, you will shortchange the established relationships you have invested in, the rich opportunities on the table in front of you, the work that’s paying your bills right now, and the important moments of freedom that you must reserve in order to evaluate, plan, and move on what’s next” — is the most valuable information service and solo-professionals could understand in growing their businesses and the relationships that will grow their business for years to come.
Brilliance 🙂
“And if you’re dissipating your energy in micropieces so that you can give everything a moment, you will shortchange the established relationships you have invested in, the rich opportunities on the table in front of you, the work that’s paying your bills right now, and the important moments of freedom that you must reserve in order to evaluate, plan, and move on what’s next” — is the most valuable information service and solo-professionals could understand in growing their businesses and the relationships that will grow their business for years to come.
Brilliance 🙂
Great article! I find myself saying “no” more often these days… otherwise there is not enough time to focus on what I need to do!
Great article! I find myself saying “no” more often these days… otherwise there is not enough time to focus on what I need to do!
You had my attention when you said, “You cannot and should not be everywhere nor available to everyone.” That statement should be a part of every presentation that someone gives on social media.
Well said!!
You had my attention when you said, “You cannot and should not be everywhere nor available to everyone.” That statement should be a part of every presentation that someone gives on social media.
Well said!!
Amber,
Great topic and so well written. Very much reminded me of a brief Twitter chat last week with you and David Spinks. It’s such a slippery slope of 24/7 access and ultimately, if we go that direction, there will be a loss of quality and nobody will be truly happy.
As you say, “filters, priorities, and limits” are essential. It’s indeed difficult to say no but perhaps one great measure of a strong community is when you can say “No, but I know someone you should talk with.”
Thanks for the great thoughts!
Amber,
Great topic and so well written. Very much reminded me of a brief Twitter chat last week with you and David Spinks. It’s such a slippery slope of 24/7 access and ultimately, if we go that direction, there will be a loss of quality and nobody will be truly happy.
As you say, “filters, priorities, and limits” are essential. It’s indeed difficult to say no but perhaps one great measure of a strong community is when you can say “No, but I know someone you should talk with.”
Thanks for the great thoughts!
WOW! “And understand that if we are truly seeking connectivity between people and not machines, we must employ some tolerance and acceptance for the imperfections of humanity that come alongside.”
Really struck home Amber!
WOW! “And understand that if we are truly seeking connectivity between people and not machines, we must employ some tolerance and acceptance for the imperfections of humanity that come alongside.”
Really struck home Amber!
Amber,
My colleague Chuck Hemann shared this chart with me from the Air Force about how its social media team decides when to engage in conversation once they see an Air Force mention in the social media space. Pretty cool how they prioritize (strategically). http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeremiah_owyang/3154057414/sizes/o/
Amber,
My colleague Chuck Hemann shared this chart with me from the Air Force about how its social media team decides when to engage in conversation once they see an Air Force mention in the social media space. Pretty cool how they prioritize (strategically). http://www.flickr.com/photos/jeremiah_owyang/3154057414/sizes/o/
Hello Amber,
There is a lot of truth in what you wrote, and it implicit to understand this if you want to get ahead in social media or nearly anything else. As an anthropologist and business guy, I need to remind myself that this is not well understood by many people. Thanks for the well written post and for making these realities accessible.
Andrew
Hello Amber,
There is a lot of truth in what you wrote, and it implicit to understand this if you want to get ahead in social media or nearly anything else. As an anthropologist and business guy, I need to remind myself that this is not well understood by many people. Thanks for the well written post and for making these realities accessible.
Andrew