Criticism can be good. It can be a very healthy way to learn, to grow, to identify flaws in your system – either personal or professional.
And now, the internet sure gives us myriad ways to deliver said criticism without much forethought, in a flash, and without making it very helpful. It’s easy to bitch on Twitter or rant on your blog (and if blowing off steam is your goal alone, you can just ignore the rest of this post).
But if your criticism is being delivered really with the intent to change something or someone’s behavior, there are ways to get closer to that goal. For folks like me – brand representatives and community leaders – there are definitely elements of feedback that make it more useful, helpful, and likely to inspire action. Here are a few:
Avoid Sweeping Generalizations
We all get caught in the trap of ranting at a generic collective, as in “people don’t understand…”. The trouble is, we don’t usually think we belong in the group you’re referring to, and wide, sweeping generalizations suffer under scrutiny (it’s rare that everyone or everything with a particular label is guilty of the same behavior).That applies to issues as well as people. It’s hard not to do. It’s a human thing to do. I’m sure I do it more often than I’d like.
But if you’re delivering criticism with the intent to change something, take the time and thought to focus it in the direction – either people or topic wise – you mean for it to go. If you’re calling out marketing people in software, say so, and be specific about why they’re the culprits of whatever you’re talking about. If you’re referencing a failure of telephone support wait time, that’s more helpful than saying “your customer service sucks”.
Differentiate Instances and Patterns.
Everyone screws up once. Saying that someone sucks at something because they did it poorly one time isn’t a fair statement. Call people out for making mistakes if you wish, but try hard to differentiate between a single instance of bad judgment or operational failure, and the notion that Company X’s delivery time is atrocious, or that a particular person is a terrible gossip. Sometimes, a mistake is just that, and pointing it out constructively can prevent its repetition.
Passion Doesn’t Trump Decorum
Being upset or frustrated or angry doesn’t mean you can’t take a moment to collect your thoughts and express them like an adult. Criticism leveled calmly and with purpose will always be more effective than frustration fueled by irrationality and heat-of-the-moment anger. Ranting blindly rarely nets true, progressive results (and you catch more flies with honey than vinegar and all that jazz). Rant loudly and repeatedly as your MO, and it becomes far too easy to make a case to stop listening to you altogether.
Alternatives Speak Volumes
I never, ever mind someone telling me that they don’t agree with something I said or did. But it’s really hard for me to do it differently next time if I don’t have an idea of what your expectations are. If you find my blog posts dull, tell me how they’d be more useful for you. If my customer service isn’t meeting your expectations, what would improve that? This requires some thought on the part of the critic, but if your goal is to have the object of your criticism consider a change in action or behavior, pointing out the direction you’d prefer at least gives them something to consider and helps them understand your perspective.
Take It To the Source
It’s much easier and less uncomfortable to complain on your blog rather than give feedback directly to the person or company you intend it for. But if amended behavior is really your goal, find as direct a path as possible to express your feedback (even if that’s in addition to something you may post elsewhere). Take the extra moment to see if that company has a Twitter account, and reply directly to them instead of just ranting on your stream. Try an email to customer support or your company contact before you pop off on your blog. If it’s an individual that’s offended you, consider telling them so plainly, and explain why.
Yes, I totally understand that some processes in place for business feedback are lousy, cumbersome, and lacking humans on the other end. But sometimes, offering the critique directly to the source first can solve an issue much more quickly, or at least provide an opportunity for direct discussion, learning (on both sides) and better understanding. It’s worth a shot.
So, what else would you add? What makes feedback valuable to you when you receive it? What criticism helps you really understand the issues at hand? How do you deliver criticism and try to make it effective?
Great post, Amber! The last two are big points for me. If you’re going to spend a whole post complaining about something but aren’t going to take the time to offer up feasible solutions, then your intentions really have to be questioned.
On the same note, if you really care enough about whatever is “wrong,” then why would you write about it to your hundreds of readers but not care to attempt to speak with the brand/person who is the subject of your ranting? Even if they brush your message off to the side, you can at least say you tried (and hey, then you have a whole other thing to rant on!)
Great post, Amber! The last two are big points for me. If you’re going to spend a whole post complaining about something but aren’t going to take the time to offer up feasible solutions, then your intentions really have to be questioned.
On the same note, if you really care enough about whatever is “wrong,” then why would you write about it to your hundreds of readers but not care to attempt to speak with the brand/person who is the subject of your ranting? Even if they brush your message off to the side, you can at least say you tried (and hey, then you have a whole other thing to rant on!)
I might have to start linking to this post for every person in my Twitter stream I see unproductively whining about a company or product. So many of these points are applicable for far too many people online at this point.
Not only does this apply to the people in this world being critical of people/organizations in a public forum, but I think it’s also something professionals should share internally with their agency/organization’s staff. Specifically the “Alternatives Speak Volumes” section.
As a fresh-out-of-college professional two years ago, I was never afraid to be critical of work efforts at my place of employment. We couldn’t afford to roll with the “Yes Man”/groupthink mentality if we were going to succeed and I knew brutal honesty would be better than just going along with things. But all of my criticism came down to an “I don’t like this…the end” approach. Finally, after a few months of this, my boss said “If you can’t give me any recommendations on how to make the parts you don’t like better, your criticism does nothing to help me.”
Since then, I balance every criticism with a way I think it can be improved. This philosophy has been more helpful to my company and it’s helped me grow as a problem-solver over the past year and a half.
It’s scary and awesome to think about how much people/organizations could improve their products and services if more folks take the approach you recommend in this post, Amber. Well done.
I might have to start linking to this post for every person in my Twitter stream I see unproductively whining about a company or product. So many of these points are applicable for far too many people online at this point.
Not only does this apply to the people in this world being critical of people/organizations in a public forum, but I think it’s also something professionals should share internally with their agency/organization’s staff. Specifically the “Alternatives Speak Volumes” section.
As a fresh-out-of-college professional two years ago, I was never afraid to be critical of work efforts at my place of employment. We couldn’t afford to roll with the “Yes Man”/groupthink mentality if we were going to succeed and I knew brutal honesty would be better than just going along with things. But all of my criticism came down to an “I don’t like this…the end” approach. Finally, after a few months of this, my boss said “If you can’t give me any recommendations on how to make the parts you don’t like better, your criticism does nothing to help me.”
Since then, I balance every criticism with a way I think it can be improved. This philosophy has been more helpful to my company and it’s helped me grow as a problem-solver over the past year and a half.
It’s scary and awesome to think about how much people/organizations could improve their products and services if more folks take the approach you recommend in this post, Amber. Well done.
Great post! I couldn’t agree more if you’re going to criticize someone it should be something productive and it should be effective. It’s a way of giving people and businesses a chance to be better. And we all deserve that chance. So why not give it to others, right?
Great post! I couldn’t agree more if you’re going to criticize someone it should be something productive and it should be effective. It’s a way of giving people and businesses a chance to be better. And we all deserve that chance. So why not give it to others, right?
Nice: your post about giving criticism follows its own rules. Social media has allowed many cool things to happen, but one side effect is that it is easy for me as a customer to say hurtful things without directing them to a helpful, possibly private forum. I also like your point about the difference between instances and patterns. A singe service failure can happen to anyone.
Nice: your post about giving criticism follows its own rules. Social media has allowed many cool things to happen, but one side effect is that it is easy for me as a customer to say hurtful things without directing them to a helpful, possibly private forum. I also like your point about the difference between instances and patterns. A singe service failure can happen to anyone.
Great post Amber! Businesses are made of people and people mess up from time to time. Feedback should be a gift not a punishment. You’ve hit on a major gap in understanding WOM and Reviews. It would be great for businesses to have tools to measure severity/credibility of comments based on commentators’ other behavior patterns. Thanks for the insightful piece.
Great post Amber! Businesses are made of people and people mess up from time to time. Feedback should be a gift not a punishment. You’ve hit on a major gap in understanding WOM and Reviews. It would be great for businesses to have tools to measure severity/credibility of comments based on commentators’ other behavior patterns. Thanks for the insightful piece.
Excellent insights, Amber, that are applicable well beyond the social media realm.
On occasion, my job takes on the angle of being an executive speaking coach to predominantly “accidental speakers”: folk who unfortunately became so good at their job that they now have to stand at a podium and talk about it. I use a similar and very simple two-column feedback mechanism that mirrors your thoughts here.
In one column, I write “Liked Best.” This column forces me to look for what was effective and a valuable asset to repeat the next time the speaker faces a microphone.
In the other column, I write “Next Time.” This column disciplines me to not only identify soft spots, but to also talk about them AND think through the issue this way: “Next time, if you respond to a ridiculous question with the phrase ‘That’s an interesting question but outside the scope of today’s discussion,’ instead of saying “That is a ridiculous question, you moron,” you will avoid alienating the rest of the potential questioners with the fear you’ll call them out as being stupid in public as well.”
Excellent insights, Amber, that are applicable well beyond the social media realm.
On occasion, my job takes on the angle of being an executive speaking coach to predominantly “accidental speakers”: folk who unfortunately became so good at their job that they now have to stand at a podium and talk about it. I use a similar and very simple two-column feedback mechanism that mirrors your thoughts here.
In one column, I write “Liked Best.” This column forces me to look for what was effective and a valuable asset to repeat the next time the speaker faces a microphone.
In the other column, I write “Next Time.” This column disciplines me to not only identify soft spots, but to also talk about them AND think through the issue this way: “Next time, if you respond to a ridiculous question with the phrase ‘That’s an interesting question but outside the scope of today’s discussion,’ instead of saying “That is a ridiculous question, you moron,” you will avoid alienating the rest of the potential questioners with the fear you’ll call them out as being stupid in public as well.”
Amber, we all just need to think hard and try to remember how many times we fell from that first bike when we were kids. How many tries we had to endure to achieve perfection. But we were eager to master this because, well most of the time, the bigger kids were doing it already. So in order to be cool we just had to do it.
Whenever I hear someone complain about something (a business, a family matter, an issue with a friend) I always reply with the same question: How can you try to make it better?
It’s the same thing just like back when we were kids. Only this time it’s not a bike: it’s life.
–Paul
Amber, we all just need to think hard and try to remember how many times we fell from that first bike when we were kids. How many tries we had to endure to achieve perfection. But we were eager to master this because, well most of the time, the bigger kids were doing it already. So in order to be cool we just had to do it.
Whenever I hear someone complain about something (a business, a family matter, an issue with a friend) I always reply with the same question: How can you try to make it better?
It’s the same thing just like back when we were kids. Only this time it’s not a bike: it’s life.
–Paul
Great post Amber,
We all have complaints from time to time. I try my best to express myself in a manner that offers alternatives. My first goal is to think of things they could have done differently and then offer those up as suggestions. Whether they want to consider alternatives the next time is up to them but I always feel better when I am able to give options they might not have considered.
I find that too often we like to bitch just to vent or make ourselves feel better but in retrospect, change doesn’t occur and nobody is better for it. I’m not perfect and fall into that trap like anyone else but the more cognizant I am about making change, the more value I feel I am providing.
Lately I’ve noticed people complaining on Twitter because it’s the easy thing to do. Often times I think to myself how they could have handled themselves in a different way and still reach their objective. We’re all branding ourselves with every tweet, every compliment, and every complaint. I keep that in the back of my mind when I use the tool to communicate. It helps me keep myself in check.
Great post Amber,
We all have complaints from time to time. I try my best to express myself in a manner that offers alternatives. My first goal is to think of things they could have done differently and then offer those up as suggestions. Whether they want to consider alternatives the next time is up to them but I always feel better when I am able to give options they might not have considered.
I find that too often we like to bitch just to vent or make ourselves feel better but in retrospect, change doesn’t occur and nobody is better for it. I’m not perfect and fall into that trap like anyone else but the more cognizant I am about making change, the more value I feel I am providing.
Lately I’ve noticed people complaining on Twitter because it’s the easy thing to do. Often times I think to myself how they could have handled themselves in a different way and still reach their objective. We’re all branding ourselves with every tweet, every compliment, and every complaint. I keep that in the back of my mind when I use the tool to communicate. It helps me keep myself in check.
Amber,
These are all good points. We have all criticized and been criticized unfairly. Some of the best learning points I have ever had that made me a better person came in the form of constructive criticism. I especially like the point about differentiating instances and patterns. How many times do we hear how one mistake apparently means that it is the norm rather than just a simple mistake. Great criticism comes from not being emotional in the exchange and sticking to relevant facts.
Amber,
These are all good points. We have all criticized and been criticized unfairly. Some of the best learning points I have ever had that made me a better person came in the form of constructive criticism. I especially like the point about differentiating instances and patterns. How many times do we hear how one mistake apparently means that it is the norm rather than just a simple mistake. Great criticism comes from not being emotional in the exchange and sticking to relevant facts.
Good points, in particular your point about being specific & offering suggestions/solutions together with a complaint. Different people have different expectations and one service that is good enough to some might be terrible to the others. So it’s really good to elaborate in more details how we can help to improve the situation, not just – this sucks.
Good points, in particular your point about being specific & offering suggestions/solutions together with a complaint. Different people have different expectations and one service that is good enough to some might be terrible to the others. So it’s really good to elaborate in more details how we can help to improve the situation, not just – this sucks.
Tremedous post Amber. I think this is a downside to social media. Anyone can whine/complain/bitch to the whole world about a product or service. Unfortunately, not enough people do their complaining constructively and appropriately, so products/services are being negatively affected (in some cases) without true cause.
The only thing I would add is to fully explain why you’re dissatisfied. I see too much of the “I’m pissed because product/service X sucks”. They don’t explain why the product/service sucks and has made them mad. Then, as you correctly outlined, they compound it by not providing solutions. Explain why something has made you mad enough to take action through social media, so that the company your rant is directed at knows exactly what the problem they need to correct.
Tremedous post Amber. I think this is a downside to social media. Anyone can whine/complain/bitch to the whole world about a product or service. Unfortunately, not enough people do their complaining constructively and appropriately, so products/services are being negatively affected (in some cases) without true cause.
The only thing I would add is to fully explain why you’re dissatisfied. I see too much of the “I’m pissed because product/service X sucks”. They don’t explain why the product/service sucks and has made them mad. Then, as you correctly outlined, they compound it by not providing solutions. Explain why something has made you mad enough to take action through social media, so that the company your rant is directed at knows exactly what the problem they need to correct.
Amber:
Love it. I see some of the same rants/complaints on the email marketing side of the world. I really loved the following statements by you:
1. “Saying that someone sucks at something because they did it poorly one time isn’t a fair statement.” – This gets to the “making it personal” part too, right?
2. “Ranting blindly rarely nets true, progressive results…Rant loudly and repeatedly as your MO, and it becomes far too easy to make a case to stop listening to you altogether.” – I’ve unfollowed many a people for this very reason. I’ve try to distance myself from the chronic complainers. I know you do too. Hmmm – this may have been due to *your* advice.
To add:
1. If you are going to rant/complain, be ready to start a conversation – engage in dialogue. Don’t rant and hide.
2. Re: “Take it to the source” … don’t forget about the phone or snail mail as that route sometimes is the most effective.
Finally, a great “life lesson” compliments of one of your readers (Mike Billeter): “Finally, after a few months of this, my boss said ‘If you can’t give me any recommendations on how to make the parts you don’t like better, your criticism does nothing to help me.'” – Mike: I had a very similar conversation w/ my boss early in my career.
Thanks, as always, Amber.
DJ Waldow
Director of Community, Blue Sky Factory
@djwaldow
Amber:
Love it. I see some of the same rants/complaints on the email marketing side of the world. I really loved the following statements by you:
1. “Saying that someone sucks at something because they did it poorly one time isn’t a fair statement.” – This gets to the “making it personal” part too, right?
2. “Ranting blindly rarely nets true, progressive results…Rant loudly and repeatedly as your MO, and it becomes far too easy to make a case to stop listening to you altogether.” – I’ve unfollowed many a people for this very reason. I’ve try to distance myself from the chronic complainers. I know you do too. Hmmm – this may have been due to *your* advice.
To add:
1. If you are going to rant/complain, be ready to start a conversation – engage in dialogue. Don’t rant and hide.
2. Re: “Take it to the source” … don’t forget about the phone or snail mail as that route sometimes is the most effective.
Finally, a great “life lesson” compliments of one of your readers (Mike Billeter): “Finally, after a few months of this, my boss said ‘If you can’t give me any recommendations on how to make the parts you don’t like better, your criticism does nothing to help me.'” – Mike: I had a very similar conversation w/ my boss early in my career.
Thanks, as always, Amber.
DJ Waldow
Director of Community, Blue Sky Factory
@djwaldow
Amber
This is great. I have seen very frequently, people either shying away from giving any negative feedback or just letting out a mouthful, without giving a concrete improvement plan.
The only point I would add to this is having some sort of come back check to see if feedback is being acted upon and if there is improvement. Improvement needs to be encouraged to reinforce good behaviour. No change deserves analysis on reason and suitable corrective action.
Amber I like the succinctness of your article.
Harish
Amber
This is great. I have seen very frequently, people either shying away from giving any negative feedback or just letting out a mouthful, without giving a concrete improvement plan.
The only point I would add to this is having some sort of come back check to see if feedback is being acted upon and if there is improvement. Improvement needs to be encouraged to reinforce good behaviour. No change deserves analysis on reason and suitable corrective action.
Amber I like the succinctness of your article.
Harish
Great post Amber. Thank you.
Great post Amber. Thank you.