- There are tools. There are people who use the tools. And then there are people who are tools. Know the difference.
- Ass-kissing will get you anywhere, but where is that, exactly? Where do you actually want to go from there? Think long-term.
- Speaking of long-term, “asshole” is not a long-term strategy. Neither is “edgy” or “off-putting.” What do you really want to achieve? And for how long? Build a strategy on that.
- The vast majority of what happens in social media happens where you can’t see it. Don’t be fooled by what you think you see — it’s only a shadow of what’s really there. Pay attention to what, and who, is missing from the conversations.
- Also, remember that what you think is private isn’t guaranteed to be. As Hugh Prather once said, “Live as if everything you do will eventually be known.” (Because it likely will be, and soon.)
- For all the stories and panels and lovefests about how social media is, well, a lovefest, I suspect that just as many relationships (personal and professional) have been broken by social media as made. Would you be comfortable with that DM being public? If not, don’t write it. There are other forms of communication, you know (but only marginally more secure). And if you’re not comfortable with what you’re doing being made public? Yeah, don’t do it.
- Everyone is in this for themselves at some level. Some people do that by taking others down. Some people do it by building people up. Some people act like they’re building people up, when really, they’re just assigning you a debt you’re not aware of, and expect you to repay. Understand intent – yours and theirs.
- A lot of this is just a game. The rules aren’t very hard to learn. But there is more than one set of rules. Do you know which set you follow? Do you know which set they do?
- Your rules aren’t my rules. They’re different. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong. Back off. There are multiple lanes on this road.
- Saying one thing and doing another? Also not a long-term strategy. Much better to walk your talk. Easier, too.
- To quote a very good friend, “The Internet will not fix whatever happened in high school.” So move on. If there’s something about you, or about the way people interact with you, that you don’t like, change it. Complaint is tantamount to complacency. DO something.
- All those people who say it’s quick and fast? They’ve got a short-term focus. If that’s yours, too — great. If not, run the other way. If you want long-term results, pay attention to those who speak in the long-term. Being human takes time.
- And? Time reveals all, to those paying attention. So: pay attention.
- Expertise is self-evident, not self-appointed. Beware of hyperbolic descriptors – yours or otherwise. You don’t get to say, really, what you are. We do. Are you listening?
- Entitlement has no place here. The time people spend reading what you put out there? It’s a gift they’re giving you. What are you giving in return? Have you made it worth their while? The minute you start to feel you owe them more than they owe you? That’s probably when you’ve got the balance right.
- Call it what you will — reposting, featuring, scraping — plagiarizing is a dick move. Do you your own damn work. Write your own damn stuff. You’ll be more passionate about it anyway. (And won’t be exposing yourself as a charlatan.)
- Bandwagons get full quickly. Start your own.
- To quote another very good friend, “The plural of anecdote is not data.” Which is why case studies are pretty much useless. As are generalized prescriptions of what works. Following others’ maps guarantees you’ll be part of the herd. Stop taking direction. Set yours. Draw your own map, monsters be damned
- You can’t fake human. Nor can you humanize fake. Trust that what you are, and what you do, has value somewhere, to someone. Your job is to articulate that value, and find your audience. Yes, it’s hard. Get over it.
- If you haven’t done it? Please stop talking about it. You’re annoying those of us who have. Talk about what you know, not what you think you know.
- Happy feelings are not ROI. ROI means RETURN ON INVESTMENT. That’s it. Stop mucking it up to cover your unwillingness to actually measure things. Yes the types of return that are valuable change depending on what results you’re looking for. But if you’re not willing to be accountable, in this space or any other, get out of the game.
- Social media is not a new way to sell. There’s only the old way. You just have new tools. (And, um, please refer back to #1:) Use them wisely.
- Being human, and interacting like one, is hard. Automation makes some parts easier, but you still have to do the hard work. Accept it, plan for it, hire for it.
- Personal and professional cross here. As Amber says, if you can’t handle that, get offline. If you don’t have a choice, then find a way to make it work for you and whoever’s writing your checks (which, if you’re lucky [i.e., you do the hard work], is also you).
- Yes, there is a culture of complaint. But squeaky wheels squeak for a reason. Figure out why. They may not speak for everyone, but they speak for some, and potentially enough to bring you, or your brand, down. Find the cause, and fix it.
- The rules are not different for you. If you don’t like to be spoken to, sold to, marketed to, or interacted with in a certain way DON’T DO IT TO OTHER PEOPLE. I mean, seriously. Your doing it doesn’t make it better. Or acceptable. Don’t be a user. Be of use.
- Oh, and if you want success in this space? Accept what comes with it. Yes that means a loss of privacy. And yes that means people will ask ridiculous things of you. Yes that means people will try to use you. Why is that a surprise? People are people. Social media just added microphones. And cameras. And speakers. Human behavior remains unchanged.
- You choose what you put out there. Don’t be surprised that people know it.
- Cliques exist. You’re in one (or many) whether you admit it or not. See them. Move between them. Use them for good. But please don’t pretend they’re not there. Disingenuous isn’t sexy. Also: not a long-term strategy, either.
- And what’s with all the judging? Are you truly so free of fault? I know I’m not. Remind me to list sometime all the reasons I’m a bitch / hypoctrical /a lame-ass, whatever. My list of why I suck will always be longer than yours. I’ll worry the day it isn’t.
- Authenticity is a state. Integrity is a mindset. Please learn the difference. You can only be what you are — even assholes are authentically so. You can only have integrity if you own whatever you are… and own up to it.
- Takedowns for takedowns’ sake aren’t helpful. Neither is blind worship. You have a brain, use it. If you disagree, say so, and back it up. Question everything, but move the conversation forward.
You? What do you see? And how do we fix it?
BAM!
And with that, you show that a) you rant because you care b) you have positive ideas in the midst of frustration and c) you want us all to get somewhere good, instead of stalling out on conference stages and Twitter feeds with little more than buzzwords to our names.
Thank you for caring enough to get pissed off.
I have to admit I get tired of the loop. But I also subscribe (as you know) to what I call the “get it out, get over it, and get to it” approach. Letting ideas kick around in your head overlong doesn’t help. Nor does simply venting. Working on what to *do*… that’s where there’s real traction, and the potential to break it all open.
I love how you focused your anger into a nice sharp spear tip and drove it right into the heart of the beast.
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post. You didn’t pull punches and there was not a single thing that I disagreed with.
What is said, is that the people who really need to read something like this and take it to heart are the ones who will never see it. Maybe you should add a “Secrets of Social Media for Only $9.99” in there somewhere and they’ll see it.
Heh, would that it were my style. But I guess I need to have my own ass kicked more often… apparently good things happen when I get fired up. 😉
Kind of in love with you right now Ms Shoulders.
Kind of in love with you right now Ms Shoulders.
Just stroke the furry wall. All will be well. 😉
Your post today *was* my furry wall. And I thank you for that.
May I second that? “Asshole” is not a long-term strategy? May I bear your children, Miz Hat?
Kind of in love with you right now Ms Shoulders.
I can definitely relate to #22. Part of my task where I work now is educating our sales staff on how to use SM to help grow their own sales. They fear the new tools thinking that social is a foreign concept. The point I always try to drive home is that they’ve been doing this sort of thing for years, social media is just another place.
And to second what Meg said: BAM
It’s easy to get caught up in the tool aspect of all this. But in so many ways, shrinking the change down to what people are already confident about can be so helpful. People *know* how to do this. They may not yet know how to use the tools, but all that takes is time and practice.
Hi Tamsen
I agree that we need to make it ‘real’ for the end users. In our case (look at http://community.kinaxis.com) we use SM quite a bit for Marketing activities, but much more important has been the adoption by the Sales team of Salesforce.com, LinkedIn and Eloqua, amongst other tools. What I am frustrated by personally is the multitude of UI’s that need to be navigated, but I have been amazed at how otherwise technophobic Sales people have taken to this because, as you say, they *know* how to do this.
What I think is less compelling in your position is that there are huge inefficiencies in B2B, much of them brought about by outsourcing and off-shoring. Most of the communication is through very dumb over-night EDI feeds or even weekly EDI feeds. And anyone rudimentary operations research course will illustrate the correlation between data latency, which results in slow decision processes, and unnecessarily (read bloated) inventories, excess and obsolete losses, and poor customer service. Improving B2B decision processes using SM concepts would be of huge value and not empty words.
Directions for this post: 1. Print. 2. Laminate. 3. Keep on desk. 4.Read often. Thank you for helping me to “keep it real.”
Any time! (Though here’s the deal: I need a reality check myself, now and then. So let’s hold each other accountable, shall we?)
OK – the headline drew me in – but I love this post! The biggest lesson I see here is that anger can be constructive – if you’re willing to call a spade a spade.
Nicely done!
Anger to me is a sign that something’s out of balance. Frankly, it’s not a feeling that I like, so as I said to Meg, above, I do what I need to to get through it quickly, and to figure out how to make it constructive. Hopefully this post is a small step towards moving forward, for me and others.
This also reminds me of something @vargasl tweeted at me this morning, ‘critical thinking is a discipline. Uncomfortable, but reqd for reflection and growth.’ We need to trust our own ideas, thoughts, and gut. We need to remember to read and listen to what others say, but also be willing to take a step back, think about, apply it, question it, reject it, and make it our own if it works. It might not, and that doesn’t make us dumb, smart, or other. It makes us human. Why are we so quick to forget (so often in the name of a presence, reputation, or profit)? Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Yes, yes, yes. And unsurprising our dear @vargasl captured it so well: there is great value to us, both personally and professionally, in *thinking*, really thinking — if for no other reason than so few others are doing it. It’s much of what Amber and I want to do here: to show people how we think, in hopes that helps others reflect on how they do.
Hey Tamsen, great post. At first I thought, “well, easy to sum this up, just be authentic,” but then I read number 31 (people can be authentic assholes) and had to laugh. Maybe we could sum it up with a succinct quote from Elmore Leonard: “Be cool.”
Yeah, “authenticity” is a particular bugaboo of mine. If I were to sum all of this up, it probably would be closest to #9. There are many ways to be successful in this space (and in any other). We gain much from recognizing, and respecting, where and how others’ ways differ from our own.
I don’t know about number 19 – I’ve been passing the Turing test undetected for years now.
You are one gigantic ball of awesome, McMahon.
Like this? http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/10/science/space/10galaxy.html?_r=3&ref=science
I don’t know about number 19 – I’ve been passing the Turing test undetected for years now.
You are one gigantic ball of awesome, McMahon.
I’m not going to pull punches, because neither did you: this post is fucking awesome.
I’m not going to pull punches, because neither did you: this post is fucking awesome.
Thanks, Justin. Walking on tiptoes does nasty things to your feet. 😉
Wow. Have to give kudos for the honest and fresh approach! Quite a few of the themes covered touch upon something that many ‘industry’ bloggers and consultants might want to think about.
As for #4, “The vast majority of what happens in social media happens where you can’t see it.”, I’d say that if we’re talking about companies and what they are getting up to in social media outlets, then this part could actually be remedied – at least to some extent – through proper means of actually monitoring social media and having a better view of your surroundings.
(Oh, and I’m not trying to #2, by the way. :D)
Thanks, Mikko! I think there are solutions to all of these, frankly, both at the individual and enterprise levels. For most, though, there will be no change until the pain point gets bad enough. How can we speed it along? And to C.C.’s point, above, how do we make sure those who most need a reality check get it…and here’s the kicker: in a way that will actually make a difference?
Wow. Have to give kudos for the honest and fresh approach! Quite a few of the themes covered touch upon something that many ‘industry’ bloggers and consultants might want to think about.
As for #4, “The vast majority of what happens in social media happens where you can’t see it.”, I’d say that if we’re talking about companies and what they are getting up to in social media outlets, then this part could actually be remedied – at least to some extent – through proper means of actually monitoring social media and having a better view of your surroundings.
(Oh, and I’m not trying to #2, by the way. :D)
Wow, this is fantastic! I think it applies to many situations beyond social media as well. Great job!
Shhh. That’s the secret. 😉
Shazam! What you outlined is the need for critical thought.
Unquestionably. As I said to Vanessa, I think that’s what Amber and I really stand for: thinking about thinking. Thanks for summing it up so well (but that’s no surprise!)
This is a fantastic article. So many truths and valid points about Social Media that should be observed by all. I’m going to bookmark this. Well done.
Thank you! Now to figure out how we make the changes happen…
Love, love, love this. Social media may be the megaphone, but we still need to create the message, McLuhan be damned. You raise a good point on the asshole issue, similar to an old Cosby sketch: if cocaine amplifies your personality, what happens if you have the personality of a jerk? With the call to be authentic in social media, what HAPPENS to the authentically mean, unconstructive, and obnoxious?
Mass media tells us that bullies of all ages hide behind the anonymity of the Internet to cast their stones. But as social media grows up—and indeed, becomes more massive than traditional mass media—is there a chance it will help its users grow up too? Constructive dialogue doesn’t have to be a relic of other forms of “social” OR media.
Great questions, Margot. I believe that these shortened feedback loops *will* have that effect. I think they will, in time.
Wait, so I SHOULDN’T print out my list of Twitter followers and bring it to my high school reunion? That won’t make me cool? Crap.
Loved this. One thing I see too often is the “no bullshit” mentality. “I tell it like it is!” is it’s own unique and powerful form of bullshit. There’s a difference between honesty and just being a jerk. Real honesty means recognizing your own faults, not just everyone else’s.
Jerks will be jerks. I’m most curious about *why* they’re jerks — to what purpose? What do they think the goal will be? What’s the hoped for result? That’s what I struggle to understand.
I am going to keep this list bookmarked and reference to it in the coming weeks, thanks a lot for sharing Tamsen.
You’re welcome! Glad you found it useful. My challenge to you: what will you do *beyond* referencing it? What will you change as a result?
I am sure each of us will get his own kind of inspiration from a post like this, personally I will try not just to think about actions to enhance my social media presence, but also perform them, not following suggestions comfortably laid down by others, blindly, but trying my best to put my essence in them and provide an original take.
I remember the countless “howto” I read about blogging (it’s kinda silly thinking about it, finding guides for something so personal, after all) but nowadays I laid down my personal way of doing it, it can come as silly to others but I shared it in my blog and many people like, some don’t, so here’s another thing I strongly believe in: never be afraid of showing your ideas to others, ever, for how dumb they may seem, if they work for you, they are the best ideas of the world.
That’s it exactly: “If they work for you, they are the best ideas of the world.”
33. It’s not rocket surgery. But it is counterintuitive for assholes.
Well said.
You’re my hero. For all the right crappy reasons out there to say so. Thanks.
I like to think sometimes what my superpower would be. And: I want a cape. 😉
My superpower is sarcasm. Yours might be reverse invisibility: better than just xray vision, you can see right through the crap. You and Olivier B. – maybe Wonder Twins?
I actually think this post can apply to any industry/space, not just social media.
I couldn’t agree more.
BooM. My favorite is #28. It boggles my mind when people are surprised when you recall something they’ve said or mention in a conversation after they’ve amplified it across multi-channels. Huh? Yes, we ARE listening.
Great list Tamsen and so very well edited. Thanks for providing us a piece that is lucid and challenging.
Thanks, Selina! Probably one of the most powerful things I’ve heard in this space came from CT Moore (@gypsybandito) at PodCamp Montreal last year. He said that, ultimately, we’re in control of (personal) transparency, because people can’t see our thoughts unless we let them.
Great article, thanks to @cc_chapman for bringing to my attention. I especially liked a couple of the items.
#26. The rules aren’t different for you. ie, Don’t do unto others as you don’t like done to you. All of you with auto-play music, tedious flash intros and cutesy but unusable flash picture galleries on your websites, please take note.
#12. Being human takes time. Corporate culture over the decades has perpetuated a belief that sterile anonymity is required to be “professional”. It expects instant trust and results from similarly sterile and anonymous relationships with customers. It doesn’t know or want to know who we are. But as you said in #22, There’s only the old way and it’s always been about personal relationships that we forge in spite of the corporate dictum to be faceless and nameless.
My high school art teacher used to tell me, “You have to know what the rules are before you can break them.” That’s quintuply true for what is *supposed* to work in the professional sphere. When you know the generally accepted rules, you’re in a better position to change things, from the inside out. (But to your point, I’ve always found that sterile and anonymous is far inferior to personable and quirky when it comes to personal, and professional, interactions.)
“Question everything, but move the conversation forward.”
This should have been your first rant! Thanks for posting this.
I didn’t realize until I read your comment that I hadn’t reordered these at all once I wrote them. They appear in the order they came into my head (and thus no doubt expose my somewhat, um, a-linear thought patterns!) I’d be fascinated to see how others would order the set.
This list sucks. Just kidding! It’s great — really great!
I like 27 in particular. Being social means that you’ve exposed yourself to society — and the people there are often very, very weird.
*People* are weird. But that’s also what makes them fun. We just need to be as ready as we can be for the weirder forms, and be smart about what we put out there.
Thank you.
Thank you.
THANK YOU.
You’re welcome, welcome, welcome. 🙂
The truth is often piercing. Thanks for posting this.
But hopefully there’s some salve there, too! Thanks for commenting.
Just like the Clash are the only band that matters, this is only blog post that matters
When they kick out your front door, how you gonna come? With your hands on your head or on the trigger of your gun?
At the risk of being late to the (not unwarranted) love-fest, there are many reasons why I think kindly of you, not the least of which is that you quoted Guns of Brixton in your replies.
And I, you, Adele! (But thanks to Adam who left the perfect opening…)
I have no idea what triggered this rant, but whatever it is, I am glad for it. So much good stuff here.
“The Internet will not fix whatever happened in high school.” 😀
You’re my new hero for the day. Maybe even the whole week.
It’s weird, this article is normally written by you 😉
I even have t-shirts:
http://www.cafepress.com/megshirts.234226171#
Well, see? Now I definitely want a cape.
I’m honestly not sure what triggered it, other than I was seeing and hearing a lot of frustration out there, not only with all the things I called out, but with people’s reactions to them. Stewing in frustration just poisons the well, so I wanted to figure out how to bridge the conversation to the next step: what are we going to *do*?
B.S.T.L.
Had to look that up. LOVE IT.
I agree with everyone. Wait…!
I do agree with Melissa in that I will have our team at the restaurant read this…awesome post!
That’s what I call – Straight to the booty (Excuse my French!) – Great shaking of status Quo.
@karimaCatherine
No way to change the status quo without being clear about what it is, right?
My favorite quote of the post may remain my favorite quote of the year: The plural of anecdote is not data.
Appropriate in so many instances.
Fabulous rant that will likely be reposted, featured and scraped across the interwebs.
And that’s my good friend Tom Webster who said that. Brilliant man.
Wow. Such an awesome post. I love the way it bleeds your passion.
Judging has always been a dominant human quality, now we have just made it easier by making what we judge more accessible.
Integrity is a mindset, it’s too bad so many change their minds so often. Sacrificing their integrity to be part of the next clique, to follow along in the popular herd.
Thanks for igniting your passion and using that fire to produce something so eloquent.
You’re welcome! And thanks for the compliments on passion. If you’re a regular reader, you know that’s part of core belief system: be useful, be thoughtful, be passionate, be kind. Thanks for letting me know that I succeeded on one of those fronts.
I am a regular reader. Because I am relatively new to the social space (about a year) I am always looking for differing perspectives that offer true substance. I have found that here, on Olivier’s blog, and Scott Stratten’s work more than others. I have found that most people in the industry and otherwise are very quick to pat themselves on the back at every minor victory whether it’s a true win or not. Blind belief will only take the whole industry down. There needs to be a few who raise all the important questions and keep everyone honest. Otherwise, it becomes a cycle of perpetuated misinformation.
Question everything, but keep the conversation moving. Probably my favourite line. Well, #1 is pretty damn good too.
My husband is a historian at heart, and one of *his* favorite rants is about the importance of primary sources, and how dangerous relying only on regurgitation of others’ research can be. Your comment about “perpetuated misinformation” is in line with that, I think — and a real concern. There is so little original content out there, which frustrates me. I believe wholeheartedly in what I’ve said a couple of different ways above: everyone has something of value to say. Sometimes they have a hard time finding it, sometimes they have a hard time expressing it (and good thing there are folks who can help on both points).
But the more voices we have out there, the better off we all are.
Damn. Love your passion and your honesty. And that you call out tools in the first line. Well done!
Thanks, and you’re welcome!
Outstanding, Tamsen.
Excellent!! Thanks .. and yes I agree with Laminate this.
Wow, I think I actually needed this ‘dressing down’ while drinking my morning coffee.
‘Bandwagons get full quickly. Start your own.’
Words to live by.
This article was simply fantastic. Refreshing and true. Thanks for sharing it!
Thanks for the
Thanks for the Social Media colonic, Tamsen. 🙂 Especially refreshing counter to the buzzword bingo coming out of the WOMMA Twitter stream today.
Here’s an addendum to #31: Remember that authenticity can’t be claimed, it can only be bestowed on you by others.
Awesome point re: Authenticity Steve. Great post, Tamsen. Entertaining and Insightful!
very well said Amber! Like #12, well, I liked them all and love the honesty! Amen sister!
Thank you for this post, Tamsen. I really needed to read this today.
I agree with all of your points. I love posts like these, that come from an intelligent gut. Here’s my rant in response to yours. We can’t ignore the fact that platforms such as Facebook are changing the way people use the internet. Many people don’t know how to integrate social platforms with their overall marketing/business goals because they barely use the tools themselves, nor do they hangout with the people that build them. So there’s often a disconnect between the business/marketing folks and the tech (UX/IA designers, etc). People who sit in the middle of the two (understand the implications of innovation as they pertain to both business/marketing and user experience) can help this disconnect. Also, ignorance and the bullshit that comes with it tends to come from the top down. If higher ups/stakeholders aren’t users of and don’t understand the implications of new technologies, and they can’t see the value in using them personally, how can we expect them to spend portions of their budget on something they themselves do not believe in? Being honest and straightforward is better than creating more buzzwords. And right now, that’s all a lot of people have to offer. Do the research, measure, it’s all there.
Solid points, Nancy, thank you. Despite the ranty tone of this post I hope that at some level it can serve as a bridge, both between those that feel the way I do and those whom I’m calling out (though I’ll be the first to admit that none of us is innocent of all of these…). Acting as a bridge is incumbent on all of us, I think, who believe these tools can be used to achieve something great.
I have a feeling the people who REALLY need to read this, aren’t going to. They are too busy trying to sell stuff or find bandwagons.
I have a feeling the people who REALLY need to read this, aren’t going to. They are too busy trying to sell stuff or find bandwagons.
Likely true, Ed. If so, then perhaps those that have read it can help those who haven’t learn the lessons I’ve tried to offer.
I kind of love you right now.
Hee! I love that you commented. Thank you!
Everything about this is so true. I am laughing out loud having a cup of coffee at my favorite cafe in Portland right now. Bravo!!!!
I love that image… hope your fellow cafe-goers didn’t think you were *too* strange. 😉
This post is a “must read”. All fabulous points but especially fond of #31.
Thanks, Steve — glad you liked it.
I just want to comment to say I was here and to get a nice reply from you!
Oh, Steve, you don’t have to comment to get a nice reply from me! (But thanks for commenting — it’s lovely to see you here.)
That proves it! You are the best!
Probably the best article on social media of all time.
Heh. Didn’t I say something about “beware hyperbole”? 😉
“Something” about hyperbole, for sure, but it was all I could come up with at the moment. Was sort of gobsmacked. (And I’m not averse to a little impassioned hyperbole to show others a greater sense of appreciation from time to time.)
Thanks again. 🙂
And I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t admit to being flattered, which I am. Thank you.
I’m not sure which is more genius, the content of the article or its beautiful title. Both moved me in a way that I haven’t been moved since my Grandmother’s funeral. Thanks for spreading the good word Tamsen.
That would imply you weren’t terribly fond of your Grandmother…
Refreshing and brilliant. Like an ice bath after a warm sauna. Uncomfortable, but sure does clear your head.
It’s unlikely to change the world, but sometimes just stopping to think a little harder about things can start the ball rolling.
Tamsen, I’m amazed at how many comments you replied to!
And yours, too! They were (and are, apparently) coming fast and furious. But I deeply appreciate the fact that folks take the time to stop by, and even more that they take the time to make a comment. The least I can do is to say thanks in return. So thank you!
thank you! it is always a breath of fresh air to read TRUTH instead if SPIN!
Though I’m sure, to some, there’s plenty of spin here. But it’s the world as I see it, and it certainly seems to have struck a nerve!
I am glad to see that the Golden Rule and parts of the Decalogue made it onto this huge buffet of points, it shows principled thinking. I have found that calling out the good is more powerful than calling out the bad, especially in children. 😉 However, there are also times when a stiff warning is called for, even for those in the choir. I so want to argue with you, but someone I know might read it here. LOL
Jim, I honestly debated whether or not to post it — ranting isn’t my style, typically. But that’s why I wanted to make sure I supported each point with something constructive, so that it wasn’t just (if you’ll forgive the phrase) pissing into the wind.
This is fantastic, love it. I have read it more as venting/releasing what a lot of us are thinking but you have had the courage to spit it out and has educated and brought some relief to a lot of folks. An honest observation of SM and human behavior in a constructive way.
My interpretation is that SM “Is what it is” the good, bad and ugly… that’s life. We can’t control what other people will do but we can control how we handle it. Be prepared for great interactions, learning and other things out there in the vast ocean of connectivity but look out for the potential sharks and rocks, knowing you are likely to get at least dumped or stung and even unintentionally have a run in somewhere along the way (character building stuff!). Challenging truths, values, differences are revealed by yourself and others…harsh but perhaps more honest which suits me… less guesswork. See them as lighthouses to avoid getting ship wrecked or for safe haven, whichever way you view it. Know the potential risks but don’t let that get in the way of new discoveries and experiences.
Just brilliant, thank you x
Thanks for such kind words… and for such a lovely use of metaphor.
There is so much good here I don’t even know where to start. I hate comments that just say “Great Post!” so I won’t do that, I have to say I love #19 and #31. Everyone should have to read this before they start a facebook page, twitter account or blog.
THE SOCIAL MEDIA MANIFESTO
This will have to go down as one of my all time favorite posts!
Thanks Tamsen 🙂
High praise, indeed, Larry — thank you!
Tremendous post! So happy I stumbled upon this needle in the haystack. I’ll surely be back.
We’ll look forward to it!
My husband (not a social media addict) is probably sick of hearing me read points out loud to him as I read them. But it’s either that or cheering like an idiot and having to explain why anyways.
This post? This made my day. It kind of ought to be on the mandatory “read this before you do anything else in social media” list. If there were such a thing. But as you say in #9, we don’t really have one. But if we did? This would be top on the list.
Thanks Tamsen.
You’re welcome, Lucretia! (And glad your husband got to join the fun, too — my husband is also not social-medially inclined…).
A kick ass post, that is all. Thanks for sharing Tamsen! 😉
Until your post I had forgotten my time decades ago reading Hugh Prather, who apparently passed away this week. Amazing when stuff reconnects given time.
Oh, sad news. I had no idea — that’s a loss. His writing was incredibly influential to me when I was growing up.
Wow very well said. I am working with an internet safety site now and to read this post is really helpful how social media affect people online. Could I bookmarked this page? I guess I have to spread these words to my colleagues. Thanks
Tamsen, you win Social Media blogging. Completely, totally and utterly. It’s like the antidote to all the “just being on social media will change your life” crap that’s bounced around.
Funny: being on social media *did* change my life, but mostly because it’s connected me with incredible people and incredible ideas that I would otherwise not have found. But there are also plenty of *not* incredible things about it, this post was my attempt to catalogue my frustrations, but more importantly, to offer solutions to them.
Love our #31.
#20. Never listen to or especially pay money to folks that don’t practice what they preach. Understand, for example, that if someone does not practice blogging for business, they are not likely to preach it, and also will try to convince you it’s not important.
#9. You really can do whatever you want to do, just stop pretending your choices don’t have consequences that you have to assume full responsibility for.
#12. There is no free lunch. You can’t have something for nothing, so stop whining. But if you will do a few of the right things right, you can have more than you ever imagined.
Great stuff. Thanks! Bret
I wish I could give extra points for comments — I’m loving your additional insight into those three.
Framing this. The end.
And to think I never could get the picture to load that I wanted to accompany this. Somehow it’s somehow better for now having one.
Tamsen…I have no smart comment this post. The only thing I can say is thank you for articulating these thoughts so eloquently. This is not a kiss ass response, but one that recognizes a blog that has a tremendous readership and so many audiences (from C-suite, worker bees, brand ambassadors, etc.) need to hear. Well written and have a good turkey week next week. I will be sharing this post with my clients! Bobby
Thanks, Bobby! (You may want to edit the language to protect the innocent, though… ) 😉
thanks for your note…i am sometimes brutally honest. keep writing and i will keep reading. 🙂
thanks for your note…i am sometimes brutally honest. keep writing and i will keep reading. 🙂
OK – I can’t resist being a little bit of a troublemaker here… while I don’t disagree with anything in your post, much of the passion is around not being judgmental and yet, that is kind of what this post is. And there are people out there that misuse social media in appalling ways but I think they fall into two camps – those that truly just want to take advantage of people (which I think is a relatively small minority) and those that don’t know, forget, or act impulsively. We all do it occasionally… at least most people I know do it… and social media just exacerbates the error in judgment. Wondering if we can find a way to be more forgiving of those people and just move on. I’m definitely not perfect in my behavior – I get tired, busy, grouchy, scared – it comes out in weird ways. It does for other people too.
Your’e right, of course, Rachel: anytime we express an opinion, particularly when it comes to others’ behaviors, it *is* a judgment. And I’ll admit that, ironically (and perhaps hypocritically) I reserve most of my judgment for the judgmental. But, at the risk of revealing too much of my inner workings, I also know that sometimes one has to speak the language of those you’re most trying to reach.
Though it came from a place of frustration, I intended, through my own suggestions on how things could be different or better, to help move others along that path.
Thanks for commenting, and doing a bit of calling out of your own.
I killed a small tree to print 20 copies of this post.
“Cliques exist. You’re in one (or many) whether you admit it or not. See them. Move between them. Use them for good. But please don’t pretend they’re not there. Disingenuous isn’t sexy. Also: not a long-term strategy, either.”
Oh but they do – your best friends and colleagues >>> over and over again. They lost me a long time ago when they proved how disingenuous he/she is – wow. The bullshit meter broke.
Sadly, I think they have put themselves so high on their own pedestal they don’t even realize when people are sticking it in their face.
Maya Angelou once said (apparently), “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I love that idea.
I love this.
I’m tired of the bullshit, too. So far this year, of the few conferences I attended, I saw lot of it. Even from very well-known speakers. Every speaker seems to feel comfortable sharing ONLY the good from social media and tends to pander to convincing the audience to leverage social media. I don’t care how many suits are in the audience. Let’s conclude that we adequately made our “case” to convince others to use social media in 2010. I’m a results oriented, trial & error kind of person. I aim to solve problems and help discover solutions and if social media has helped, we should share more live examples beyond “Dell Hell.” My favorite step away from our own advice is repeated throughout the industry and at conferences: the focus on apps and tools. It’s annoying to hear people react like “OMG, BackType?!! Can I monetize that?!!” C’mon, please. Tools help, but goals and objectives help make the case for them. Sure, you can integrate everything in Hootsuite, but why? Is it effective and does it move the needle? Sure, you can automate and broadcast your mindless babel at pre-scheduled times, but why would you? We can’t miss the purpose and the meaning in social media before we talk about the tactics, shortcuts and inside tricks. I sound very critical here; it’s because I am. The more snake-oil bullshit that gets shared, the less credible the industry becomes. When the industry can be replaced by a $5 offshore “tweeting and facebooking” outfit, we’ve failed. To any prospective person who feels comfortable talking about social media, I have a few suggestions. Do what you say and say what you do. It’s that simple. Admit defeat when defeated. Admit and share how you won when you win. Be accountable. Admit that you don’t have all the answers and the answers won’t work for every business. Likewise, help people get comfortable with being creative. Creativity can really make a difference and is often undervalued. That’s my few cents. Excellent post, thanks for bringing this up and uncovering many great discussions.
I love seeing your passion here, Joseph. Your penultimate paragraph should be a post of its own. Bravo.
I agree with you, but I wonder if we met whether I would like you. xoxo
A matter of personal taste, I’m sure!
Social Media…the land of Serial Self-Aggrandizing.
And that’s something each of us can do our part to counteract.
“Happy feelings are not ROI. ROI means RETURN ON INVESTMENT. That’s it. Stop mucking it up to cover your unwillingness to actually measure things.”
AMEN!
Ha, I know so many people just like that! Specially here in Cancun… 🙂
Thanks, Tamsen. You have just been added to my list of heroes. lol
Cheers from Cancun!
But at least you’re surrounded by CANCUN. 😉 (I’m just envious: it’s cold and blustery up here in Boston today).
Regardless of where we are, there will always be those whose rules don’t rub well with our own. I want to see what we can do to be a voice of reason, and find a way to learn from each other.
Tamsen,
Wish I would’ve seen this post yesterday – just got it via e-mail. I’m gonna keep it short and just say that it’s one of the best posts I’ve ever read. Direct, without being “preachy”. There are so many excellent points here that it would take me several paragraphs to express my appreciation of your keen observations.
I will, however, touch on #9: “Your rules aren’t my rules”. I’m always hearing about rules & etiquette in social media & blogging which reminds me of the scene in the great film “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid” in which Butch Cassidy (Paul Newman) is being challenged to a knife fight by the much larger Harvey Logan. Butch exclaims to those gathered around that the fight cannot begin: “Not until me and Harvey get the rules straightened out.” To which a stunned Harvey replies: “Rules? In a knife fight?!” [watch it here: http://bit.ly/aB5iFM%5D
The point is that there are no rules – this is social media and “social” can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. You don’t like how other people play? Unfollow. Done. Now please shut up. You want to be surrounded by people who play by the rules you’re comfortable with? Follow them, chat with them, and leave everybody else alone.
I will take some issue with #30 as I always try to make sure that my list of why I suck is always shorter than everyone else’s. I’ll worry the day it isn’t. And by the way “they” suck, you rock.
Nuff said.
Thanks, Dan, as always. I think you’ve hit upon a great metaphor for this space with the knife fight.
My point about #30 is that I want to be more aware than anyone else of what my failings are. All about protecting your back in aforementioned knife fight…
I really Like this post and it has a ridiculous amount of truth but here is my question:…..How did it come to this?…answer: Because somebody “fell asleep on thier watch”….hate to be cliche and use my Marine Corps values and ethics, but it true…..In the Marines we live by a combat code of never leave a man behind, and I believe the faltering that causes a bunch of these problems is from poor leadership and lack of self education……I love #15 entitlement has no place, I believe you only own what you earn…..accept responsibility for your actions
What a great perspective! But also illustrative about why the Marines are such an elite force: “just anyone” can’t be a Marine. Perhaps the challenge we can choose to take up in this space is to create our own elite force where a similar credo of “never leaving a man behind” can become the new raison d’etre.
You basically covered every side-conversation, DM and back channel e-mail I’ve ever written. All of us now have a secret code to speak in to each other at conferences. “Hey, get a load of that guy…what a #31.” “If I read another of her #20s, I’m going to tear someone a new long-term strategy.”
Thanks for this.
That’s hilarious 😀
Love it. We could turn them into those little stick-on ribbons that attach to conference badges…
You basically covered every side-conversation, DM and back channel e-mail I’ve ever written. All of us now have a secret code to speak in to each other at conferences. “Hey, get a load of that guy…what a #31.” “If I read another of her #20s, I’m going to tear someone a new long-term strategy.”
Thanks for this.
yes, yesss, yyyessss, YES!
I have to quote Mr. Chapman below: “I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post.” It’s right on the money…and just fucking awesome!
Thanks, Brett – it very much wrote itself.
Tamsen, this post left me quiet for several moments, digesting each point and thinking through the resulting comments.
I feel especially convicted by #16, “Call it what you will — reposting, featuring, scraping — plagiarizing is a dick move. Do you your own damn work. Write your own damn stuff. You’ll be more passionate about it anyway. (And won’t be exposing yourself as a charlatan.)” as I don’t write enough of my own stuff and am active in sharing the work of others.
Ouch.
Thanks for the rant and the passion and caring evidenced. I agree with your points and will now trot out and share this (while working through the blocks in my head and schedule to get to writing my own material).
Awesome.
There’s an important distinction between sharing and plagiarizing. One gives credit, the other doesn’t. I’m all for shining the light on people whom others might have missed. A little less bullish (to say the least) on people who outright steal others’ work.
Tamsen – thanks for the ass-kicking! And the brilliant quote: “Live as if everything you do will eventually be known.” I try to remember this every single day. Not that I always succeed, but still, I try.
I think that’s what we all need to remember: that none of us is perfect all the time. That’s what makes us human. If someone never makes a mistake (or rather, never admits to making one)? Beware.
Sharp as a razor: “There are multiple lanes on this road”
Thanks for writing that!
Sharp as a razor: “There are multiple lanes on this road”
Thanks for writing that!
#31 is my favorite. Excellent post.
I like to be sold to and marketed to. I like free rooms. Free rental cars. $200 off flights. 🙂
Hi Tamsen,
Cool take on social media 😉
Your intent advice resonates with me. Set your intent and attempt to gauge the intent of those around you. Over time you can spot those with purer motives. Associate with these folks and leave the rest behind, for that’s where they’re headed anyway.
Thanks for sharing and have a powerful day!
Ryan
I think I’ve said it here on this blog before: actions reveal motivations. What people do reveals what drives them. With enough time, you get a very clear picture.
Awesome! Loved it all 🙂
“If you’re not willing to be accountable, in this space or any other, get out of the game.” Social media, meet your Terms of Service. Thanks for calling BS @tamadear.
Ok, I’m guilty of #16. I reposted this post on FB and twitter. Sorry Tamsen, but its just to good and a crime not to share. Im in agreement with so many commentators …the honest, and authenticity is is FUCKing refreshing. Thank you!
This certainly counts as a successful post, resulting from your direct and authentic thoughts about social media and what someone should expect. I have thought about it for days; it feeling like someone was “driving a screw through the side of my nose” OUCH! – clever, on target, insightful, and my emotional self just churned. I hope someone who is new to this activity and feeling as vulnerable as I have on many an occasion doesn’t either intellectualize it and turn it into another distorted and contrived version of their “twitter self” or get so intimidated that they walk away from the entire experience. I am not able to accomplish a good portion of what you write about, but I am willing to trip along the way, eat humble pie and learn from it. So.. just to add a little of my humanity to your thoughts – I appreciate your perspective, have learned from the thoughts and my heart wants to run for the hills… 😀
Bravo! Brutal honesty regarding social media. How refreshing and surprising.
I absolutely love this post. It is refreshing to hear your direct approach to spotting FAKE. !!!
Well done and fully acknowledged for myself too.
Errr, a bit on the angry side, but I do agree w/ some of these points.
This:
“Speaking of long-term, “asshole” is not a long-term strategy. Neither is “edgy” or “off-putting.” What do you really want to achieve? And for how long? Build a strategy on that.”
Is beautiful.
That is all…
Thanks, Deb! It’s amazing, isn’t it, how many people seem to think it’s a good persona to build. Ah, people. We’re endlessly fascinating!
Thanks, Deb! It’s amazing, isn’t it, how many people seem to think it’s a good persona to build. Ah, people. We’re endlessly fascinating!
Well said. Too many people forget that there are real people sitting behind the keyboards.
That was the best thing I have read this year… who am I kidding, ever! So many life lessons… seriously Tamsen you had me at #1 and kept me through #32. Every point is spot on. As someone said in a comment – printed, laminated and going on my wall.
bravo! thank God i didn’t read this before i went into this am meeting…they would have kicked me out.
Great rant! Do you feel better?
A quick synopsis:
1. Treat others as you would like to be treated
2. Keep it Real
3. If you don’t lie you don’t need a good memory
4. Shit happens, deal with it.
5. Social Media is a tool. Use it like one, don’t be one!
6. Get over yourself! (not you Tamsen but those to whom you rant!)
7. You live your way, I’ll live mine
8. “Asshole” is not a long term strategy! (so good needed repeating.
Thanks for brightening my Thursday in a snowy but sunny England.
Andy Craven
Paradoxical! Thumbs up.
Just ran across this thanks to Outspoken Media and there are so many gems I stopped counting. Great post, smart smart post.
I loved the article… I also loved the personality you put in this blog… many of us internet marketers are scared to put a few choice words in our blogs… I see that you aren’t and I am sure it only endears you to your followers.
Well, Amber and I have structured this blog with a lot of freedom. For
neither of us is it the main outlet for what we do, so we have the luxury
(if that’s the right word for it) of writing for ourselves, and our readers.
I know that if I’d sanitized the language it may have been more shareable,
but honestly, it never occurred to me to write it any other way, because any
other way would have not adequately conveyed my feelings on the matter.
Thanks for reading, and for your comment — we so appreciate how interested
and involved our readers are.
Love and agree with most of what is written here. I like what you and Amber have done with this blog. I would add point 33 – Don’t let the fear of a response to your post prevent you for having a voice in the conversation!
As always, I’m late to the party — great post!
It must say something about the human condition that we need posts like this as often as we do. Or maybe learning these lessons just takes time, and each generation (person?) needs to discover them all over again, and at their own pace.
A good thwack upside the head never goes out of style. Thanks for thwacking.
“Bandwagons get full quickly. Start your own.” —-Tamsen, I love you! To show my love, I’m going to steal your quote and spread it like wildfire 😉
Spread away! Glad you liked it.
Very interesting post and lots to digest.
The majority of the world don’t give a rat’s ass about social media. Get off the computer, disconnect from time to time and go outside to feel the sunshine, rain, snow, whatever.
Tamsen,
Have to say that I really like what you said about “happy feelings” not being ROI. I think all of us trying to provide a value-add to social media have been saying this more than we’ve been measuring the results. I think the client wants to hear something a bit more meaty than that 😉
Thanks for the reminder!
you gotta love someone who takes the polite bs out of it and tells you like it is. Thanks Tamsen!
you gotta love someone who takes the polite bs out of it and tells you like it is. Thanks Tamsen!
Loved the post, loved all the points. My favourite would be no.22.
Great work.
K
That was great!
Whoa did I learn a ton here
One of the best “guides” I’ve actually read (vs. skimmed). I suggest the title is a little jumbled “Social Media Is Another Form of Bullshit”.
Makes me wonder what universe some folks are from…
You had me at bullshit and I need Weight Watchers.
Hamster and wheel – squeak!
Love it.. Thank you!
“The Be Real Manifesto” – Invaluable post for people who wish to communicate in any medium. I’m printing a copy and hanging it on my office wall above some of my favorite book collections.
What shines here in this post is more your willingness to be honest with us then any criticizing plea that we be honest with you. Without a doubt a very confident, self-assured, and experience-driven post. Er, uh, more of a gift to us. Thank you for your graciousness!