A comment by Jeremy Fischer on yesterday’s post hit on something I’ve been contemplating, but haven’t yet articulated. He inspired me to explore this a bit further (thanks, Jeremy), so I’ll give it a shot.

With each growing and nascent concept (like social media) comes a set of vocabulary we settle into to define it. We collect a few words that we think illustrate the intentions, the ideas, and the undercurrents of the concept itself. For social media, one of those words is “relationships”.  (Other ones are community, human, transparent, and authentic, all of which could spawn posts of their own).

Here’s where I think we need to take it a step further.

Your Relationship Isn’t Mine.

What constitutes a relationship to you might not be one to me. And we may have different aims for our relationship to and with one another. Especially in a business context.

You, as a business, may have all the best intentions to forge a relationship with me, meaning that you want to talk with me, interact with me, get to know me better, understand my motivations and my personality and demonstrate that you value me as a customer, and hopefully give me lots of reasons to adore you and express that adoration publicly.

I, however, may just want to get a discount, buy your thing because it suits my needs, and move on.

The intent for a relationship really doesn’t have much long term impact unless we have similar aims for what we’re looking for from each other, or at least a clear understanding of how we differ.

Define It.

If you say you’re using social media to “build relationships”, tell me what you mean by that. Rather, not me, but bake that into your plans and goals so you’re really defining the meat of what you’re after.

Is a relationship to you any or all of the following?

  • Understanding my motivations for doing business with your company
  • Getting to know my interests on a personal level, and to what depth
  • Supporting my ongoing needs and questions, as needed, with a friendly, human touch
  • Connecting with me individually, and actually having a one-to-one channel of contact between me and a member of your staff
  • Having permission to contact me in some manner or form (or multiple) to promote your stuff
  • Building trust with you so that I seek you out when I need information or knowledge aside from your product offering
  • Giving me access and information enough so that I feel like I’m qualified (and willing) to recommend you

I’m asking these questions because we’re using the term “relationship” as a catch-all to represent the concept of “something bigger and deeper than merely a purchase or transaction”. But it’s not enough to stop there, because there are all sorts of shades and colors of relationships, and what motivates you to have or want one – especially with a business or a brand – is as different as your personality.

Relationships Aren’t the Only Value Constant

Social media can still be valuable outside of the notion of relationships. [Insert horrified gasp from the purist crowd here.]

Social media is lots of things. It’s a distribution network. It’s a communication framework. It’s sharing of information and intelligence. It can be a transaction conduit if dovetailed with other efforts (ask Dell). The common thread is really and making all of these touchpoints a bit more personal and relevant in the moment, and less scripted and contrived. But that doesn’t always constitute a long term commitment between customer and company, or some kind of emotional bond.

It has the potential for lots of things. But saying that it’s always about “building relationships” I think is making it dangerously generic, and potentially putting customers in the uncomfortable position of always being courted for something more than they might be after.

What Say You?

We’ve shot past the warm-and-fuzzy curve of social media, and it’s time to look at the hard reality behind the motivations and intents behind why people actually use this stuff, and what constitutes “value” for social media in a business sense.

You may think I’m saying that the human element doesn’t matter, but it’s quite the opposite. The human element and touch is everything, but in proportion. (Being human doesn’t always have to move mountains. It can be as simple as being friendly and responsive on a customer service call).

But it’s when we over inflate our sense of importance and intrinsic value as a business to people that we start trying to contrive relationships where perhaps they aren’t the driving factor. Relationships are very real, and their impact on business success is without question. But we’ve got to keep it in proper perspective, and know what we mean when we utter that word.

I’m thinking hard about this this year. To me, it’s one piece of the oh-so-popular measurement and value extraction (i.e. ROI) argument. I’m eager to hear your take.

image by Katie Tegtmeyer

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