One of the most popular mantras in the marketing and social media spheres:
“It’s all about relationships.”
Or some variant thereof.
But in itself, that statement is completely and utterly useless. It means nothing simply because it could mean just about anything.
Let’s dissect this persistent little bugger and perhaps derive some useful tidbits from it.
1. What the heck constitutes a “relationship” anyway?
Anyone can look up the dictionary definition of “relationship” and give me an answer.
But what I really want to know is what – in the context of your business – sets a “relationship” apart from any number of other things? How is a relationship different than, say, just an acquaintance, or a lead, or a customer?
If you were to list out a bunch of criteria that have to be met before you can call it a “relationship” with your customer, what would those be?
2. Would your customers, community, and prospects define it the same way?
We marketers are notorious for navel-gazing, seeing the world through our own lens and forgetting that there’s often another viewpoint that may not match ours.
If we go through the whole exercise of illustrating what a customer “relationship” looks like to us, would those same customers define it the same way when talking about us?
Do they even want the kind of relationship that we do?
It can be really easy to romanticize this world where all of our customers are friends, all of our prospects can’t dream of anything but working with us, our community loves and adores us for a million reasons. But if we aren’t on the same page with those people about the desired end game, like any other relationship, we’re going to find ourselves in a sticky and awkward situation.
It’s a myth to think that every person who does business with us wants some kind of deeper and more extensive connection.
So we’d better have insight into exactly what our customers and prospects do want and expect from us, and find out whether that lines up with our own vision. If not, we have to get back to the drawing board.
3. What’s the end goal of a “relationship” in a business context?
Reality check: we don’t develop relationships in business just because we like to be surrounded by a bunch of people. We have some kind of goal: sales, advocacy, referrals, loyalty. Some goal that has a beneficial outcome for our business.
It’s really important to know what that is so that we can be absolutely clear about it with ourselves, with our prospects, and in our communications.
Believe it or not, people are more likely to do business with you if you’re up front and clear with them about what you’re hoping they can do. Do you want them to buy something? Tell their friends? Be a customer for life?
Once again, it’s critical that you end up on the same page as your customers here. If you want one thing but they want something completely different and incongruous out of their relationship with you (i.e. you want them to buy stuff themselves and they want free stuff to post on their blog), you’re setting yourself both up for disappointment and frustration, not to mention a really really hard time defining and tracking success.
Know what you want from each other, and what will make for a successful “relationship” between the two of you over time. Communicate it clearly. Adjust it as you go. But get real about what a “relationship” really means.
Which brings me to:
4. What are you bringing to the table?
I wish I had a dollar for every marketing plan/goal/statement I read that talks all about developing relationships with customers…
…and puts every bit of context around that in terms of what the customers can/will do for the business, leaving out completely what the business is doing for the customers to deliver on their end of this valuable “relationship”.
Giving someone a product or service of value is table stakes, not a differentiating factor and does not in itself spark a relationship. That’s a bottom-line expectation for someone that is going to spend money with you.
So what else are you going to give that transcends your connection with this person from transactional to “relationship”-driven? How do you elevate your game from a pleasant sales experience in one moment to whatever you’ve defined in #1 above?
You have to have skin in the game as a business in order to make true “relationships” work, and that means contributing value in some way over and above the product or service you’re delivering.
5. Are you sure a “relationship” is what you and/or your customer need and want?
I realize it’s the trendy thing to say we’re “building relationships”, but are you sure that’s what your customers need and want from you?
The answer might be yes. But it might also be no.
For example, I don’t think I personally want a relationship with Colgate. I might use their toothpaste, but I might use another one just as easily. Toothpaste selection is not something that I, personally, am passionate about and having a long-term “relationship” with their company – defined as I would define a relationship, anyway – is not really of importance to me.
So is their money and effort best spent in trying to “build relationships” with me? Maybe not. Maybe it’s better spent plugging me into a community of moms who buy an array of personal care products. Maybe it’s in helping me find a dentist I love. Maybe it’s in connecting me with a charity that helps bring dental care to kids in underdeveloped countries. Maybe they’re the bridge to a relationship somewhere else, but it’s perfectly okay for our interactions to be mostly product- and transaction- driven.
Dig beneath the buzzwords. Please.
As marketing continues to shift and evolve, I have one big request of you, the leaders of this new era.
Every time you hear one of these cute soundbites from a social media conference, or you see someone’s “Tweet This” quote on their website or Instagram graphic, ask a few questions to spur some critical thought.
What does that mean? Would my customers interpret this the same way that I do? Is this practical and viable for my business and our customers? How does this get us closer to the goals we’ve set for ourselves? Or better yet, does it help us refine those goals so they’ll have even more impact?
The only things that really matter are the business mantras, snippets and quotables that can give us something of substance. Reinforce an action we’re taking, or redirect it somewhere more valuable. Drive us to ask better questions. Help us put tighter definitions to the goals and plans we’ve outlined.
I for one am weary reading all the words that sound great on paper but that do very little to help me, my team or my colleagues build a more successful business.
So get out there, and let’s blow up the quotables in favor of making our businesses really and truly better. See you in the trenches.
