There’s an interesting characteristic of the online world that makes things sticky sometimes.
We can get opinions from anywhere.
The ubiquity of information means that not only can we comment or opine on anything, but it’s easy, and even widely accepted to do so.
It’s rather understood that if you put a statement, issue, opinion or action out there publicly, you are tacitly inviting commentary and opinion on same. (And if you choose to close your comments, that must mean you’re closed minded to others’ ideas, right? Anti-social? I think not.)
The more you share information, the more it’s reacted to. Sometimes you ask for opinions directly, but other times you don’t. Is simply publishing content of any kind an implied solicitation of input? Is that the price of being an unfettered publisher of ideas?
And when that happens, how do you figure out who to listen to? When you should put stock in something, and when not? When do you take heed of the stuff that’s not necessarily easy to hear, the criticisms that have merit, and when do you chalk it up to noise? Can you let any of the accolades act as a barometer either, or are they mostly empty, sycophantic ramblings? How to distinguish?
If you ignore it all, are you narrow minded? A snob? Or judicious about what input you entertain?
I’ve been called a snob for socializing with familiar faces in smaller groups instead of mingling among massive crowds. (There are reasons I don’t like crowds much). I’ve been accused of being elitist because someone offers an unsolicited opinion of what I’m doing wrong, or what I should write about, or how I should do my job, and I’ve chosen to do differently. I’ve seen friends, colleagues, and complete strangers come under fire for not responding in the way people want them to.
Should I care what you think?
The answer for me comes back to a constant: Trust.
Maybe more than just trust. Maybe it’s whether it feels like someone’s being thoughtful, or just asserting an opinion. (Julien Smith once gave me great constructive feedback about talking too fast in my speeches. What made me take that to heart?)
Maybe it’s whether that relationship feels like it has a reciprocal investment. Maybe it’s whether I have a sense of that person’s integrity, and their motivations for saying something in the first place.
For me, I’ve found a few ways to tap small groups of trusted advisors in my universe (thank you, Google Wave) for the kinds of questions I’d honestly be afraid to put out there in the public. The ones that show vulnerability or uncertainty on my end, that might give away the fact that I’m not made of armor. Or the ones that have a lot more to do with where I’m driving toward next.
I’ve found it amazingly helpful to have forged a few trusted affinities. They help offset the influx of impromptu commentary that’s much harder to filter.
But I’ve still got lots of questions about the expectations we’re setting for each other here. I’m as social as the next person, but that doesn’t mean everything I do or say is up for debate. Several people have been quoted as saying “What other people think of me is none of my business.”
Or… is it?
I don’t have nearly as much noise to filter as you, but I think a lot of the interactions we have can be heeded or ignored based on intuition and a gut feeling. I rely on my gut a lot. When something tells me I really should be listening to someone, I try to listen more carefully. And, when my gut tells me someone is talking to me because ultimately they want something I try to listen to that as well and not get taken for a ride.
No one can be everything to everyone. We can only do the best we can and positively impact as many people as possible.
.-= Jennifer James´s last blog ..How Much Should Mom Bloggers Earn? =-.
I think that’s what I’m exploring, Jennifer. What defines “the best we can”? Obviously pleasing everyone is impossible. So then the next question… what’s the response to the people we displease?
I don’t have nearly as much noise to filter as you, but I think a lot of the interactions we have can be heeded or ignored based on intuition and a gut feeling. I rely on my gut a lot. When something tells me I really should be listening to someone, I try to listen more carefully. And, when my gut tells me someone is talking to me because ultimately they want something I try to listen to that as well and not get taken for a ride.
No one can be everything to everyone. We can only do the best we can and positively impact as many people as possible.
.-= Jennifer James´s last blog ..How Much Should Mom Bloggers Earn? =-.
I think that’s what I’m exploring, Jennifer. What defines “the best we can”? Obviously pleasing everyone is impossible. So then the next question… what’s the response to the people we displease?
Amber,
Great topic.
The popularity of social comes with the good and the bad. Too often, I see people respond in a negative way so that the spotlight shines on them. That’s clearly not the type of feedback any of us want to see or deal with.
Having a contradictory opinion is great, sometimes helps move the conversation in a new and exciting direction. I welcome constructive criticism, especially from those that have been in the trenches and succeeded. Anyone who feels they have nothing to learn is only fooling themselves.
Interestingly enough, many of my friends have recently commented that they don’t like reading the comment section in blogs. I find it interesting that they don’t seem to find any value it in. The comment section is often where I learn the most but as you stated, not everything is designed to be debated or questioned.
.-= David Benjamin´s last blog ..Growing Your Business through Referrals =-.
I think we find the comment sections valuable because, quite frankly, they’re expanding on OUR ideas. It’s of interest to us because we started the conversation. Perhaps it’s not quite as interesting to those who weren’t as heavily invested in the topic in the first place?
Amber,
Great topic.
The popularity of social comes with the good and the bad. Too often, I see people respond in a negative way so that the spotlight shines on them. That’s clearly not the type of feedback any of us want to see or deal with.
Having a contradictory opinion is great, sometimes helps move the conversation in a new and exciting direction. I welcome constructive criticism, especially from those that have been in the trenches and succeeded. Anyone who feels they have nothing to learn is only fooling themselves.
Interestingly enough, many of my friends have recently commented that they don’t like reading the comment section in blogs. I find it interesting that they don’t seem to find any value it in. The comment section is often where I learn the most but as you stated, not everything is designed to be debated or questioned.
.-= David Benjamin´s last blog ..Growing Your Business through Referrals =-.
I think we find the comment sections valuable because, quite frankly, they’re expanding on OUR ideas. It’s of interest to us because we started the conversation. Perhaps it’s not quite as interesting to those who weren’t as heavily invested in the topic in the first place?
Authenticity (trustworhiness) is critical when telling someone your story, or providing an opinion. Being a “yes man” went out with 80’s big hair and glasses. Unfortunately, there is still a lot out there to distrust.
Authenticity (trustworhiness) is critical when telling someone your story, or providing an opinion. Being a “yes man” went out with 80’s big hair and glasses. Unfortunately, there is still a lot out there to distrust.
Thanks for your transparency here, Amber. Very interesting and cogent points made; great food for thought. I may have to seek out my own little ‘bounce-off’ group, as I’ve often wondered the same things about the stuff I spout off abput on my blogs… Thanks again for this. 🙂
.-= AJ in Nashville´s last blog ..Let The Ugliness Begin… =-.
It definitely helps. I’ve been very glad to have a place where I can spout off about whatever’s on my mind and work through thoughts and ideas with people that have a track record of giving me good, constructive and thoughtful feedback.
Thanks for your transparency here, Amber. Very interesting and cogent points made; great food for thought. I may have to seek out my own little ‘bounce-off’ group, as I’ve often wondered the same things about the stuff I spout off abput on my blogs… Thanks again for this. 🙂
.-= AJ in Nashville´s last blog ..Let The Ugliness Begin… =-.
It definitely helps. I’ve been very glad to have a place where I can spout off about whatever’s on my mind and work through thoughts and ideas with people that have a track record of giving me good, constructive and thoughtful feedback.
We perscribe value to the things that other people say to us. What value we give it is ultimately up to us. Should we listen to what other people say? Listen, perhaps. That’s definitely a part of your job as a whole for R6. But taking every piece of advice/commentary/criticisms as direction is where we run into problems. Only each of us can decide what’s best for our lives professional or otherwise in that moment in our lives.
Most people seem to have a group of people that they trust have their best interests at heart. Those folks have more leeway and definitely more weight for me personally.
Lately I’ve found the balance of publicly stating an opinion and talking privately to close friends. No matter who’s conveying their thoughts and opinions it should always be taken with intellectual skepticism.
Chel, when you say, “taking … as direction is where we run into problems”, something clicked. To listen, to attend, even to respond doesn’t mean the same as taking things as our direction. thanks (and thanks amber for the larger post.
Great points, both of you. And Chel, I’m with you about always trying to find a balance between what you “put out there” and what you don’t. That’s part of my exploration; what is MY responsibility to edit what I put where in order to still push boundaries, but understand when mass commentary might not be the best thing?
We perscribe value to the things that other people say to us. What value we give it is ultimately up to us. Should we listen to what other people say? Listen, perhaps. That’s definitely a part of your job as a whole for R6. But taking every piece of advice/commentary/criticisms as direction is where we run into problems. Only each of us can decide what’s best for our lives professional or otherwise in that moment in our lives.
Most people seem to have a group of people that they trust have their best interests at heart. Those folks have more leeway and definitely more weight for me personally.
Lately I’ve found the balance of publicly stating an opinion and talking privately to close friends. No matter who’s conveying their thoughts and opinions it should always be taken with intellectual skepticism.
Chel, when you say, “taking … as direction is where we run into problems”, something clicked. To listen, to attend, even to respond doesn’t mean the same as taking things as our direction. thanks (and thanks amber for the larger post.
Great points, both of you. And Chel, I’m with you about always trying to find a balance between what you “put out there” and what you don’t. That’s part of my exploration; what is MY responsibility to edit what I put where in order to still push boundaries, but understand when mass commentary might not be the best thing?
Hey Amber
If you have a business, or are in business, I believe that what other people think matters. However, as it relates to this space we are all practicing in called Social Media, it gets pretty noisy, and aggravating. I love a great debate, even a healthily respectful confrontation, all in the name of forward progress of ideas and projects.
Where I get tripped up, (sometimes to my demise) and want to squash folks, is when they are adding their opinions and comments with blatant authority, absent ever having done anything relative to the subject topic. I am fine with opinions, we all have one or two, but if you aren’t speaking from First Hand Knowledge, If you haven’t put your own tail on the line for your idea, or spent your own money on a campaign, you are just babbling and you shouldn’t get a ticket to belly up to the table.
I want to talk to, and comment with folks who have character, some bruises and bumps, maybe even some scars, as when we are sharing and collaborating with folks about what did and didn’t work, we can exponentially move the needle. Anything else has a diminishing time value.
.-= Eric Brown´s last blog ..Working Within Social Media Red Tape: 5 Rules and a Case Study =-.
That’s an interesting perspective, Eric. I like the way you’re looking at this:
“I want to talk to, and comment with folks who have character, some bruises and bumps, maybe even some scars, as when we are sharing and collaborating with folks about what did and didn’t work, we can exponentially move the needle. Anything else has a diminishing time value.”
That sums up some of my personal experiences, too. Will keep thinking on that. Thanks!
I was reading this and could feel comments welling up in my throat and when I got to Eric’s comment, I think he hit the nail on the head. So many of the mental debates you are describing here Amber reminded me of being pregnant for the first time. It is literally shocking when total strangers feel perfectly comfortable invading your personal space to touch your belly, give you unsolicited advice and Literally tell you what to do. Yes, they have their own experiences but EMPATHY teaches one when to shut up and when to speak. What your gut is looking for is not just answers but empathy because in this line of work, we give away a bit of ourselves, no?
Hey Amber
If you have a business, or are in business, I believe that what other people think matters. However, as it relates to this space we are all practicing in called Social Media, it gets pretty noisy, and aggravating. I love a great debate, even a healthily respectful confrontation, all in the name of forward progress of ideas and projects.
Where I get tripped up, (sometimes to my demise) and want to squash folks, is when they are adding their opinions and comments with blatant authority, absent ever having done anything relative to the subject topic. I am fine with opinions, we all have one or two, but if you aren’t speaking from First Hand Knowledge, If you haven’t put your own tail on the line for your idea, or spent your own money on a campaign, you are just babbling and you shouldn’t get a ticket to belly up to the table.
I want to talk to, and comment with folks who have character, some bruises and bumps, maybe even some scars, as when we are sharing and collaborating with folks about what did and didn’t work, we can exponentially move the needle. Anything else has a diminishing time value.
.-= Eric Brown´s last blog ..Working Within Social Media Red Tape: 5 Rules and a Case Study =-.
That’s an interesting perspective, Eric. I like the way you’re looking at this:
“I want to talk to, and comment with folks who have character, some bruises and bumps, maybe even some scars, as when we are sharing and collaborating with folks about what did and didn’t work, we can exponentially move the needle. Anything else has a diminishing time value.”
That sums up some of my personal experiences, too. Will keep thinking on that. Thanks!
I was reading this and could feel comments welling up in my throat and when I got to Eric’s comment, I think he hit the nail on the head. So many of the mental debates you are describing here Amber reminded me of being pregnant for the first time. It is literally shocking when total strangers feel perfectly comfortable invading your personal space to touch your belly, give you unsolicited advice and Literally tell you what to do. Yes, they have their own experiences but EMPATHY teaches one when to shut up and when to speak. What your gut is looking for is not just answers but empathy because in this line of work, we give away a bit of ourselves, no?
(Er, I meant prescribe in that first sentence. Need more coffee and to stop letting my eyes roam when I write. I end up typing what I read. 🙂 )
.-= Chel´s last blog ..The Short List : Blog Posts that made my must read list last week =-.
All fixed for you . 🙂
(Er, I meant prescribe in that first sentence. Need more coffee and to stop letting my eyes roam when I write. I end up typing what I read. 🙂 )
.-= Chel´s last blog ..The Short List : Blog Posts that made my must read list last week =-.
All fixed for you . 🙂
For me there is a line between my ideas and opinions and “me”. If I state an idea or opinion in a public forum I am fine with the discussion/debate that follows. Its when it gets personal that I stop listening. There are precious few people that I care enough about, trust, and respect enough to take what they may have to say about me to heart.
For me there is a line between my ideas and opinions and “me”. If I state an idea or opinion in a public forum I am fine with the discussion/debate that follows. Its when it gets personal that I stop listening. There are precious few people that I care enough about, trust, and respect enough to take what they may have to say about me to heart.
Amber, once people start talking about you it offers something critical to your persona: context. However, the way they build that context is based on their own values and point of views. Therefore there’s nothing you can do to change or adjust it, only work towards enhancing what you think of yourself. Great post as always. –Paul
.-= Paul L’Acosta´s last blog ..marketingfails: Reading: Why Is Privacy So Unsexy? http://bit.ly/cTEI6k via @mitchjoel =-.
Amber, once people start talking about you it offers something critical to your persona: context. However, the way they build that context is based on their own values and point of views. Therefore there’s nothing you can do to change or adjust it, only work towards enhancing what you think of yourself. Great post as always. –Paul
.-= Paul L’Acosta´s last blog ..marketingfails: Reading: Why Is Privacy So Unsexy? http://bit.ly/cTEI6k via @mitchjoel =-.
I met Neil E Boyd a couple of weekends ago at a summit in New Orleans. He is the guy that won “Americas Got Talent” in 2008…opera singer.
Amazing voice and a down to earth guy. We talked for awhile and what surprised me so much was that he had to have security because there were people who would send him threats, etc…
So, when you have a following, it appears you have to realize there are a lot of people out there that appreciate what you do and know that some people are just NOT NICE! lol
I’ve just started a blog and your e-books were very helpful. Thanks!!
Sally
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Breadcrumb =-.
Sally, but I’m exploring more than just having a following. Even when I had a couple dozen people reading the blog and a handful of friends online, there were thoughts and opinions thrown around and directed at me. So I don’t think it’s nearly as much about how much commentary we get, because we ALL get it. I’m trying to think harder about what lines to draw where. 🙂
I met Neil E Boyd a couple of weekends ago at a summit in New Orleans. He is the guy that won “Americas Got Talent” in 2008…opera singer.
Amazing voice and a down to earth guy. We talked for awhile and what surprised me so much was that he had to have security because there were people who would send him threats, etc…
So, when you have a following, it appears you have to realize there are a lot of people out there that appreciate what you do and know that some people are just NOT NICE! lol
I’ve just started a blog and your e-books were very helpful. Thanks!!
Sally
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Breadcrumb =-.
Sally, but I’m exploring more than just having a following. Even when I had a couple dozen people reading the blog and a handful of friends online, there were thoughts and opinions thrown around and directed at me. So I don’t think it’s nearly as much about how much commentary we get, because we ALL get it. I’m trying to think harder about what lines to draw where. 🙂
I don’t think everyone needs to broadcast every bump or bruise. Sometimes there comes a time in your life when you want to filter things out. Things happen and maybe it is too personal. I think this is when it is okay to go to a trusted group of advisers. That is what they are there for.
I am not good in big groups either. I tend to stick to the people I know as well. I think that is just because I turn shy. I am going to try and work on that more.
.-= Jamie Favreau´s last blog ..Help a PR Pro out (#HAPPO): Candidate Detroit =-.
I don’t think everyone needs to broadcast every bump or bruise. Sometimes there comes a time in your life when you want to filter things out. Things happen and maybe it is too personal. I think this is when it is okay to go to a trusted group of advisers. That is what they are there for.
I am not good in big groups either. I tend to stick to the people I know as well. I think that is just because I turn shy. I am going to try and work on that more.
.-= Jamie Favreau´s last blog ..Help a PR Pro out (#HAPPO): Candidate Detroit =-.
A very interesting post! From B2B perspective, we also need to consider that brands could spend too much attention on critics and detractors.
You cannot please everyone – there will always be vocal & opinionated participants. So what is noise and what is legitimate criticism? And do you “validate” your detractors if you respond? When is it better to just ignore the opinions that are out there?
.-= Ksenia Coffman´s last blog ..Corporate Twitter for B2B – Part 2: 12 Types of Compelling Content for Your Feed =-.
That’s exactly what I’m thinking about. And I’d offer that it’s not just B2B. That’s B2C, too.
A very interesting post! From B2B perspective, we also need to consider that brands could spend too much attention on critics and detractors.
You cannot please everyone – there will always be vocal & opinionated participants. So what is noise and what is legitimate criticism? And do you “validate” your detractors if you respond? When is it better to just ignore the opinions that are out there?
.-= Ksenia Coffman´s last blog ..Corporate Twitter for B2B – Part 2: 12 Types of Compelling Content for Your Feed =-.
That’s exactly what I’m thinking about. And I’d offer that it’s not just B2B. That’s B2C, too.
It’s individual – what I value may not have the same importance for you. It’s also applicable to groups. But integrity, truth, service – those all speak loudly and attract people of many types (family, friends, neighbors, customers, etc.)
It’s individual – what I value may not have the same importance for you. It’s also applicable to groups. But integrity, truth, service – those all speak loudly and attract people of many types (family, friends, neighbors, customers, etc.)
Favorite quote from The Gumball Rally:
The first rule of Italian racing? What’s behind me is not important.
If all these “experts” were the leaders they claimed to be, they wouldn’t be wasting their time looking behind them, worried about what’s behind them, worried about the opinions of others. They would be and should be blazing new trails, going full speed ahead, demonstrating their expertise through continued innovation and execution.
I ignore virtually every opinion thrown my way. Valid criticism, I pay careful heed to. Ways I can do things better, implement better, execute better, strategize better? Throw them my way as fast as you can. But I’ll leave the navel-gazing opinion spouters where they belong – at the back of the pack, eating the fumes of the leaders racing ahead.
How do I tell the difference? The ankle biters throw sloppy opinion and nothing else. The people who have something worth listening to always seem to bundle tons of potential solutions with every problem they bring to me, and I love them for it.
.-= Christopher S. Penn´s last blog ..5 Easy Ways to Win at Pasta =-.
Excellent comment!!
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Trouble with my web design =-.
You always have a sage point of view, Chris. Maybe the better discussion is about learning to breed the confidence and focus TO ignore those opinions and stay ahead of the pack. But I appreciate the collective kick in the pants, and as usual, you’re right. I’ve worked hard this year to stay forward-focused, and it’s working well. But there are moments… 🙂
Breeding confidence is simple (not easy, but simple): enforce a sense of perspective by having the crap kicked out of you on a regular basis. Everything else will seem like a breeze by comparison. It’s what I do every Friday night.
.-= Christopher S. Penn´s last blog ..5 Easy Ways to Win at Pasta =-.
Favorite quote from The Gumball Rally:
The first rule of Italian racing? What’s behind me is not important.
If all these “experts” were the leaders they claimed to be, they wouldn’t be wasting their time looking behind them, worried about what’s behind them, worried about the opinions of others. They would be and should be blazing new trails, going full speed ahead, demonstrating their expertise through continued innovation and execution.
I ignore virtually every opinion thrown my way. Valid criticism, I pay careful heed to. Ways I can do things better, implement better, execute better, strategize better? Throw them my way as fast as you can. But I’ll leave the navel-gazing opinion spouters where they belong – at the back of the pack, eating the fumes of the leaders racing ahead.
How do I tell the difference? The ankle biters throw sloppy opinion and nothing else. The people who have something worth listening to always seem to bundle tons of potential solutions with every problem they bring to me, and I love them for it.
.-= Christopher S. Penn´s last blog ..5 Easy Ways to Win at Pasta =-.
Excellent comment!!
.-= Sally´s last blog ..Trouble with my web design =-.
You always have a sage point of view, Chris. Maybe the better discussion is about learning to breed the confidence and focus TO ignore those opinions and stay ahead of the pack. But I appreciate the collective kick in the pants, and as usual, you’re right. I’ve worked hard this year to stay forward-focused, and it’s working well. But there are moments… 🙂
Breeding confidence is simple (not easy, but simple): enforce a sense of perspective by having the crap kicked out of you on a regular basis. Everything else will seem like a breeze by comparison. It’s what I do every Friday night.
.-= Christopher S. Penn´s last blog ..5 Easy Ways to Win at Pasta =-.
I believe that we tend to get some good comments and a few bad ones. The important thing to me is not whether they agree with me or are critical in nature but rather did they take the time to leave some meaningful thoughts. Did they provide value to the thread. This quality really stands out. If it is there people will value what they say and if it isn’t they will be quickly forgotten.
I think the theme of “thoughtful” is important to me. Did you take time to think through what you’re saying to make it helpful and useful? Are you baiting people to make them focus on you and try to sound like the smart one, or the contrarian, or stir up controversy? There’s definitely a difference, and trying to sort one from the other can be a tough job sometimes! But I’m with you – I don’t need people to agree. But I do need dialogue to be constructive.
I believe that we tend to get some good comments and a few bad ones. The important thing to me is not whether they agree with me or are critical in nature but rather did they take the time to leave some meaningful thoughts. Did they provide value to the thread. This quality really stands out. If it is there people will value what they say and if it isn’t they will be quickly forgotten.
I think the theme of “thoughtful” is important to me. Did you take time to think through what you’re saying to make it helpful and useful? Are you baiting people to make them focus on you and try to sound like the smart one, or the contrarian, or stir up controversy? There’s definitely a difference, and trying to sort one from the other can be a tough job sometimes! But I’m with you – I don’t need people to agree. But I do need dialogue to be constructive.
I’ve noticed recently how people will often attack / criticize the popular in order to gain traction on their own blog / twitter feed. It’s frustrating to see people use the popularity and the community of others almost in reverse.
You should check out some recent posts by Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein and especially about her experience being an INFJ in a social media world.
.-= Sue Anne´s last blog ..sue_anne: RT @ambercadabra How I Made $100K With Twitter http://bit.ly/biv4eb =-.
She’s got some great perspective for sure. Thanks for making sure people know about her. And yeah, there’s always a contingent that throws rocks at the pedestals they helped create. That’s part of what I’m talking about here, though I really am focusing on how each of us in our own everyday discussions puts ourselves out there for critique, and how to handle it in our own context. I know I’m not the only one I see wonder about it. 🙂
I’ve noticed recently how people will often attack / criticize the popular in order to gain traction on their own blog / twitter feed. It’s frustrating to see people use the popularity and the community of others almost in reverse.
You should check out some recent posts by Elizabeth Potts-Weinstein and especially about her experience being an INFJ in a social media world.
.-= Sue Anne´s last blog ..sue_anne: RT @ambercadabra How I Made $100K With Twitter http://bit.ly/biv4eb =-.
She’s got some great perspective for sure. Thanks for making sure people know about her. And yeah, there’s always a contingent that throws rocks at the pedestals they helped create. That’s part of what I’m talking about here, though I really am focusing on how each of us in our own everyday discussions puts ourselves out there for critique, and how to handle it in our own context. I know I’m not the only one I see wonder about it. 🙂
Like you, I tend to be more comfortable in a tight circle of people. But that must make it tough to have a job like a community manager. I assume there is an expectation from your company that you will engage broadly woth diverse constiuents. At least I would find it tough. Interesting dilemma. Would be interested in your thoughts on balancing the two seemingly conflicting needs.
.-= Mark W Schaefer´s last blog ..The End of The Trust Agent? =-.
Well of course, Mark. That’s my job, and it’s not to say I don’t enjoy it. I do it often – I’m at shows several times a month mingling, talking to widely varied groups of people, etc. Thankfully, sometimes I can even do that in smaller groups of people. I engage both in person and online with hugely diverse groups of people, because that’s my job, but also because it’s of interest to me. I have a job like this because people and relationships are important to me. And so far, I think my colleagues are quite pleased with the work I’m doing. I can point to many positive results.
But the other part? I’m not always on. It’s not always about my job, because I’m a much broader person than just my work. After I work a long day at an event speaking and conversing with dozens – even hundreds – of people, if I choose to go to dinner with a few friendly faces instead of brave the appetizer table at the giant reception, I think that’s okay too.
Like you, I tend to be more comfortable in a tight circle of people. But that must make it tough to have a job like a community manager. I assume there is an expectation from your company that you will engage broadly woth diverse constiuents. At least I would find it tough. Interesting dilemma. Would be interested in your thoughts on balancing the two seemingly conflicting needs.
.-= Mark W Schaefer´s last blog ..The End of The Trust Agent? =-.
Well of course, Mark. That’s my job, and it’s not to say I don’t enjoy it. I do it often – I’m at shows several times a month mingling, talking to widely varied groups of people, etc. Thankfully, sometimes I can even do that in smaller groups of people. I engage both in person and online with hugely diverse groups of people, because that’s my job, but also because it’s of interest to me. I have a job like this because people and relationships are important to me. And so far, I think my colleagues are quite pleased with the work I’m doing. I can point to many positive results.
But the other part? I’m not always on. It’s not always about my job, because I’m a much broader person than just my work. After I work a long day at an event speaking and conversing with dozens – even hundreds – of people, if I choose to go to dinner with a few friendly faces instead of brave the appetizer table at the giant reception, I think that’s okay too.
I was just thinking about it while I commuted to work. I find it difficult to integrate opinions as sometimes people can give us opinions knowing a bit more or having different information than we have.
I take opinions from people I trust, but I also give thought to some opinions from people I don’t know as I try to understand the context in which they are giving it. This has helped me integrate new points of view or open myself to totally new ideas.
Gut makes a great filter sometimes. Looking at the person or reading their language just gives you the feeling of something being a sincere critique or just some not very constructive comment.
.-= Jorge´s last blog ..Make it remarkable =-.
I was just thinking about it while I commuted to work. I find it difficult to integrate opinions as sometimes people can give us opinions knowing a bit more or having different information than we have.
I take opinions from people I trust, but I also give thought to some opinions from people I don’t know as I try to understand the context in which they are giving it. This has helped me integrate new points of view or open myself to totally new ideas.
Gut makes a great filter sometimes. Looking at the person or reading their language just gives you the feeling of something being a sincere critique or just some not very constructive comment.
.-= Jorge´s last blog ..Make it remarkable =-.
Amber you put forward an interesting questions when it comes to comments and discussion. It almost seems like the holy grail for B2B and B2C organizations is who to listen to? The obvious answer is the customer and/or client. Yet, being human, we tend to drift towards like minded people and those that affirm our beliefs. It takes true courage to seek opposing opinions from individuals we do not like. In their harshest criticism are grains of truth. A B2B and/or B2C can gain invaluable insight from such comments and not dread them.
On another note, I am like you, at the end of the day I seek comfort in a close circle of friends. Everyone should have that refuge and know when to turn work off.
Amber you put forward an interesting questions when it comes to comments and discussion. It almost seems like the holy grail for B2B and B2C organizations is who to listen to? The obvious answer is the customer and/or client. Yet, being human, we tend to drift towards like minded people and those that affirm our beliefs. It takes true courage to seek opposing opinions from individuals we do not like. In their harshest criticism are grains of truth. A B2B and/or B2C can gain invaluable insight from such comments and not dread them.
On another note, I am like you, at the end of the day I seek comfort in a close circle of friends. Everyone should have that refuge and know when to turn work off.
Amber,
When it comes to ideas, opinions, etc., I generally care what people think, but don’t care what they thing about me. It’s the only way to stay true to yourself, while listening to the less pleasant conversations about us as people.
You can’t control what they say, only how you chose to react to it.
But you still need to listen and welcome even the more irrational assessments. Why? Because that is what most of tell our clients. Listen to your customers (even though that doesn’t mean you have to agree with them).
All my best,
Rich
.-= Richard Becker´s last blog ..Looking Forward: Social Migrates To Mobile =-.
Amber,
When it comes to ideas, opinions, etc., I generally care what people think, but don’t care what they thing about me. It’s the only way to stay true to yourself, while listening to the less pleasant conversations about us as people.
You can’t control what they say, only how you chose to react to it.
But you still need to listen and welcome even the more irrational assessments. Why? Because that is what most of tell our clients. Listen to your customers (even though that doesn’t mean you have to agree with them).
All my best,
Rich
.-= Richard Becker´s last blog ..Looking Forward: Social Migrates To Mobile =-.
Amber
Responding the way people want them to …that is where it starts. The more popular you become, the more people feel that they know you and set their own image of who you are and how they expect you to talk and react. Any deviations from what is their “expected” opens you up to being criticized as there is that “fear of loss” when people perceive you as now different from them. That difference is what sparks people to question you which in turn ask you to pay notice and think should I care what they think. It is a part of what popularity brings.
Social media is wonderful but very exposing to what people think, want and expect us to be.
@SuzanneVara
.-= Suzanne Vara´s last blog ..Social Media Shortfall Case Study: Summerlin =-.
Amber
Responding the way people want them to …that is where it starts. The more popular you become, the more people feel that they know you and set their own image of who you are and how they expect you to talk and react. Any deviations from what is their “expected” opens you up to being criticized as there is that “fear of loss” when people perceive you as now different from them. That difference is what sparks people to question you which in turn ask you to pay notice and think should I care what they think. It is a part of what popularity brings.
Social media is wonderful but very exposing to what people think, want and expect us to be.
@SuzanneVara
.-= Suzanne Vara´s last blog ..Social Media Shortfall Case Study: Summerlin =-.