Three Self Sabotage Mantras You Need To Quit - Brass Tack ThinkingWe shoot ourselves in the foot with alarming regularity.

There isn’t a day that goes by, especially on the internet, where I don’t hear someone listing out a litany of reasons why they aren’t reaching their potential, or why they haven’t pursued their dream career, or written the book, or started the blog. I’ve been there. We all have.

So, here’s the ones that have reared their heads in my world over the years, that I hear echoed in so many other people’s remarks, and that I work every day to kill dead. Today, you’ll read at least one that you’ve said to yourself.

And today, I’m calling for you to quit it. Now.

1. It has to be complex to be good.

Simple is still valid.

With nearly every project or idea I undertake, I’m convinced that it’s too easy. Too basic. That the concept I’m talking about or writing about or presenting just isn’t intellectual enough to reach an audience that cares.

But you know what? The audience for academic and intellectual is limited. There’s a lot of value in being part of those discussions, but simple ideas form the foundation of complex ones, and everyone will tell you that the truly difficult puzzle is to take big ideas or intricate ones and find a way to explain them simply. Quit trying to make it more complicated just because it seems fancier that way. It isn’t. Hone your ability to simplify.

2. Surely, everyone has thought of that already.

This is also known as Imposter Syndrome. You sit in the meeting with an idea for how to solve the problem on the table, but it’s so obvious to you that you’re certain that it’s already been thought of and dismissed as stupid or not viable.

Except it likely hasn’t.

Personally, I’ve kept my mouth shut a thousand and one times because I was absolutely sure that my contribution, idea, or perspective simply wasn’t good enough because it was so obvious to me. I must be missing something or not understanding the problem well enough, and I’m going to make myself look like an idiot.

I suppose I’ve had my share of clunkers, but for the most part, you need to get comfortable with the idea that your perspective is unique because it comes from a completely distinct vantage point (yours), shaped by your experiences, understanding, and the way you process information. It’s not going to be the same as anyone else’s. And hell, what’s the worst that happens if everyone did think of it already, or that your thought is indeed completely unoriginal? (Come on, this post is hardly a groundbreaking concept, it was just on my mind).

You have more information and experience to draw from for next time that will help cultivate the next idea that is different. Never a bad thing. Knowing that you experience imposter syndrome isn’t a license to let it continue to best you.

3. It’s someone else’s fault that I can’t do this.

The worst form of self-sabotage is believing that you didn’t have a hand in creating your own fate.

I’m not sure what happened to personal accountability in the last little while, but it’s taken a full-on roundhouse to the face and is now whining in a corner somewhere about how unfair life is. I have to be honest that I don’t have a whole lot of tolerance for excuses. We all get dealt a crappy hand now and again, or have a stack of circumstances that seem insurmountable. Our choice is to cope, or to blame.

There’s no question that I’ve failed at this. Those closest to me also know that I’ve lost my mind once or twice buried under the overwhelm of lots of scary things. But they’ll also tell you that I always come out swinging on the other side. And on the outside? People consistently tell me that I seem fearless. I’m not, but I’m determined as all getout.

Being accountable for your world is also incredibly empowering. You can’t control all the factors,but you can control your reactions and responses to them. Once you realize that, suddenly even the biggest things don’t seem so daunting anymore. It isn’t someone else’s fault. It isn’t the system’s fault, or the fault of your circumstances. You’re in control of a lot more than you think.

So today, at the start of a new week, promise yourself you’re going to quit these. At least for 24 hours. Then another 24. Then another.

I’m hungry to see a whole stream of conversations across the interwebs of people triumphantly knocking down doubt rather than tearing down each other and themselves. We can do so much better than that. We’re a population that spawns human after human who changes the world for the better, whether incrementally or in big, sweeping gestures. As cynical as we are, we find room in our spirits for believing in something each and every day, and we’re the most resilient critters on the face of the planet.

So really. What’s your excuse?