The more flexible the web and the more fluid communication becomes, the easier it is to express what we think.
Not only to have an opinion, but to gather reams of information around that opinion. To collect and impart knowledge. To become an expert in something faster than ever before. All of which empowers us to feel – to know – that we have hundreds of smart, important things to contribute at any given time.
We even talk about content creation from this aspect: thought leadership. Sharing expertise. Contributing knowledge to the larger base. A notion of teaching. In fact, ask a lot of your friends and online connections and ask them what they love about participating online, and they’ll tell you they love to teach. They love to share knowledge and have it absorbed by others.To know that they’ve “made a difference”.
New social business leaders may embody this idea, too.
But ponder this.
Is Smarter Always Better?
My friend asked me a question the other day:
If the level of your intelligence were equal in either case, would you rather be the smartest person in a group, or the dumbest?
It’s a crude way to ask the question a little bit, but it got me thinking, and it explains some of the culture shift I see around me too.
We want very much to be the one with the answer. To “teach” others. To show off what we know. To be the smartest, the wittiest, even the most retweetable. We want our comments to be pithy and memorable. We take every question or statement made by our friends and connections as an opportunity to solve a problem (even if one may not exist) or provide an answer even if the question itself is vast, difficult, or even rhetorical.
We take ourselves rather seriously in that regard, in fact. Always at the ready with our arsenal of knowledge and vast array of experience. Who we know. What we know. What we’ve done. Why we know best.
But I’m learning that – more and more – perhaps I’d rather be the one in the room with the most to learn.
Valuing and Expressing Our Intelligence
It’s intimidating to surround yourself with people who challenge you. I have daily struggles to learn and absorb business knowledge that I need but don’t yet have. I scare myself to bits when I step into a room of people that I perceive to have much more intelligence or knowledge, even in a specific capacity, like the visual thinking workshop I recently signed up for.
It can also be frustrating sometimes to think or believe you have an answer to something, but instead sit by patiently and see if others arrive at their own conclusions, to see if you have all the right information, or ask questions instead of offer statements.
Because through expressing our intelligence we demonstrate what we value in ourselves, what information we think is useful to the world at large, and we seek validation and approval for our intellectual worth. By asserting what we know, we’re illustrating to the world that our thoughts have merit, and that our brain has been engaged in something worthwhile. We want people to see that we’re valuable and useful.
But what I’m finding is that people who are conscious learners are always learning, but they’re not just uttering the empty tired “we’re all students and we all have something to learn” while turning right back to asserting their smarts. There’s a way they communicate what they know, and they somehow do so as though what they’re sharing is but one element or a starting place, and they’re welcoming input from many other places. That way, what they take away is much greater than what they put in to start with. They way they express and value intelligence is different. They are emotionally intelligent about how they communicate their intellect.
Perhaps you only earn being the smartest one in the room if you can also eagerly and comfortably be the dumbest. It’s a cycle, or an ecosystem maybe, of absorbing and imparting knowledge. I can’t quite put my finger on this, and I’m sure there must be some characteristics of this that are so subtle so as to be hard to describe.
But it’s the difference between participating in a conversation and being able to pick out the know-it-all in the group that simply irritates everyone, and the obviously intelligent person that has much to contribute, yet feels as much like a participant and an explorer and a seeker as anyone else. Both smart, perhaps, but they’re approaching things very differently.
What Do You See?
Perhaps the rapidity of our communication, the short bursts of our fractured attention, the pressure and scrutiny we feel to make the most out of every moment to be seen online are making us scramble all over each other to have an opinion or a thought or to be the smartest one in the room all the time. Perhaps once we identify that we have a strength or a capability, we are so desperate to hang onto it that we never know when it’s okay to set it down and simply…be.
I don’t know quite what I’m experiencing, but I’m definitely feeling it in myself, and I’m trying to open my mind and raise my perspective a bit and get comfy putting myself in different company for the sake of learning different things. And I see it around me, on both sides of the spectrum.
Leadership – whether functional or implied – is going to take a different shape as business evolves today. And this discussion is a core part of it.
Am I seeing things? Is this a mirage? Have you asked yourself that question above…and what’s your honest answer?
image credit: dierk schaefer
It’s tough being the one with an answer, but never feeling like it is enough right?
Actually Todd, that’s not quite what I’m saying (though I suppose that can be true..). Point being I think most of us *think* we’re the ones with the answers and fling them around a great deal, but that perhaps we’re not as smart as we think we are, nor should we always try to be.
I RARELY think I am the smartest one in the room, yet in many instances am treated as such (sounds humble don’t it?). A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.
Interestingly, we were just told by a new client yesterday that the reason why they picked us over our competitors for the gig, is that we weren’t afraid to admit that we didn’t know everything — and yet at the same time still seemed confident and able to help them achieve great things.
I think a lot of companies (well, at least the ones we want to work with) are more sold on someone’s motivation and drive to find them answers, rather than their ability to walk in the door with all of the answers already in their back pocket.
I’ve heard that in my work too, Jen, so that rocks. Good for you guys for being willing to say “dunno, but we’ll figure it out.”
When I started working, my mom (who is VERY smart) told me to watch Broadcast News. There’s a line she loves – the boss says to Holly Hunter sarcastically “Doesn’t it feel great knowing you’re the smartest person in the room?” and Holly replies in all seriousness “It feels terrible.”
If there are always people to learn from, you’re in the right kind of environment. If you always have to be the one with all the answers, you can never get any better at coming up with them.
As with all things, I think you can be both. It’s when we falsely assume that we’re *always* the smartest and treat situations as such that we miss vast opportunities to sit back and learn something.
I think that the smartest person in the room *is* the one who admits to ignorance.
I agree with you. Yet I see so little of that in practice. Do you see more than I do?
Actually, yes, and more than I used to. About a year and a half ago, I specifically set out to collaborate with others who shared the mindset that we all could learn more from each other (more than what we, alone, could hold in the space of our own brain). As a result, our collective consciousness and wisdom have elevated. Key to this is a pretty thorough assessment of oneself – being honest enough to realize where you have room to grow. Once you’ve identified those gaps, actively seek out those who have the smarts you lack. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
To grow you have to be able to learn. And if you want to up your game, you need to work with those who are better, smarter, ahead of you.
When I was sent off to do improv training by my mgmt, I purposely did a custom program with the pros instead of starting with an open class. I wanted to be challenged to move at the pace of the best in the business, not the slowest person around. I wasn’t so hot to start with, but it forced me quickly to improve.
Being willing to not be the smartest (or any “-est” for that matter) is the best way to get to the next level.
Thanks for a thoughtful piece!
Here’s the trick: I think we all know and *say* that. But our very human egos and insecurities get in the way so easily, and I wonder how many people say they want to surround themselves with people who are smarter, but do exactly the opposite because of how uncomfortable it can be. I look around me and see so many people scrambling to get attention, accolades, and approval for how smart they are…we suck at being vulnerable. I’m wondering why that is.
“we suck at being vulnerable. I’m wondering why that is.”
Survival. The Human Animal. What happens if you’re vulnerable? YOU MIGHT DIE.
Sure, intellectually I know I’m not going to die if I’m not the smartest/coolest/prettiest/funniest/wittiest/fittest wildebeest in the heard.. but part of my brain doesn’t know that. It just knows that if I’m not scoring points, then I might not be able to pay my bills. If I can’t pay my bills I could lose my home. If I lose my home I could be on the street, and if I’m on the street I could starve.. and die.
Is that realistic? Not really. But the part of me that is hardwired for survival is looking around me at all the shiny people, and thinking I gotta be one of them. And if I’m not one of them, I sure better LOOK like one of them because then otherwise I might not make the genetic cut.
It’s counter-intuitive. It takes being more than human animal to say “wow, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Could you tell me more?”
hi there, you’ve probably seen this, but Brene Brown does a great Ted talk on connecting shame and vulnerability. Here’s the link below. Oh, and I wanted to think of something thoughtful and smart to say but I couldn’t think of anything!! next time….
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
This reminds me of Gretzky’s quote (paraphrased) which says, “I skate to where the puck is going; not to where it is.” We can’t improve our game if we surround ourselves with people who are at the same developmental level, but if we reach too far, we risk discouragement. However, when we pace ourselves against folks who have *just* a smidge more talent/skill than we do, we are able to grow into and develop our own skills accordingly.
Being smart doesn’t provide an advantage in improv unless your looking to do the stuff that is limited to being quick witted. Be emotionally open and sensitive to others is more useful. As like every other skill – confidence and willingness to make mistakes does wonders.
In improv we often strive not to “give the answers” when teaching but to provide experiences for others to learn their answers.
David Alger
Pan Theater
I think about teams I work on, and played on in younger years. I never want to be the best or brightest. I want to surround myself with the best and brightest willing to work with me. As we all work together, I hope we all become a little better and brighter.
Though I also believe there is merit in going into settings where you allow yourself to become a resource. Whether it is going back to the community you grew up in and talking to teens (in my case) or being one of the best speakers in the nation on business and social media, there are times where you may be the person with the most experience and credentials… But that doesn’t mean you cannot learn in those environments too.
I just like the standard of constantly raising the bar for yourself, not aiming for the unachievable repeatedly.
Thoughtful piece, Amber… I believe the learning (and fun) never end for those who wish to continue growing. Those who don’t, will stagnate (eventually) and be left behind. All facets of life are dimensional, offering multiple perspectives and angles for those willing to see and venture out. The more we are open to learn, the more we realize there is yet more to learn…
I LOVE this post. I have been a Community Moderator/Manager for a decade, and have recently delved into social marketing/client services. I don’t know it all – heck, I FAR from know it all! I spend most of my day learning…and I love that. I hope to one day be giving back to the network of people I communicate with on a daily basis, but I honestly feel that right now I have so much to learn that I’m half sponge! š I think it’s about sharing knowledge, more than “being an expert”. Things change so fast now…how can you *stay* an expert? It’s nigh impossible, IMO.
Thanks for a great post! š
Smartest or dumbest? Easy dumbest.
If it is true that you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Being the bottom you will improve at the top you will be held back.
Hi Amber. I’m going to comment on several points:
1. Expert status: depending on how you define “expert”, I’d disagree that you can become an expert about something faster than ever. There are levels of knowledge and expertise. I’d probably agree that the lower levels of knowledge gathering have been made easier to attain by the Web and social networking but there’s still a time and effort investment that doesn’t go away for the highest levels of expertise/mastery. It may be easier to get out of Novice level due to the relative abundance of information that we can access now, if you follow the Dreyfuss model for skill acquisition, but you don’t get to the higher three rungs of skill acquisition without putting in the time and effort.
2. A classic example of the newish phenomenon that you describe, where everyone is striving to show their knowledge (and their worth), is a Twitter chat. In my opinion, the noise level and terse communication limitations lead many people to Tweet sound bites, cliches or would-be profound statements to make sure that they are seen and heard. Blog comments are similar, but at least in the comment section you have the space to elaborate and make a solid point if you choose to do so.
3. I can’t think of a communication medium that isn’t exploited by blowhards, parrots or talking heads. Today’s social applications have removed the geographic barriers to participating in conversations, but certain kinds of people will always attempt to “hog the mike” in order to express themselves. Personality and temperament adapt to the medium.
4. What you are experiencing and feeling is the very same thing that you did when you were an intern, a rookie or a new employee: fear and discomfort from being in unfamiliar waters. You may also be moving into spaces where there is no advantage in being the first to blurt out an opinion or a strongly held belief. I guess I come from an environment where it’s more common to listen and ask questions rather than try to establish myself by demonstrating what I know. However, I normally deal with people from my own company and not so much with people who don’t work there. This may be a factor.
5. Instead of putting this in the black and white terms of “smartest” and “dumbest”, why not remove the ego and labeling and instead focus on being mindful, interested and generous in learning and sharing knowledge?
This is certain a topic with thinking about and discussing, if only for understanding that people approach learning situations in different ways and with different motivations.
Hi Mark:
1. Good clarification. Let me say that that statement about being an expert faster than ever has two sides, one a little tongue in cheek. You can’t accelerate absorption and practice of expertise beyond a certain point, but boy, we sure can pretend so. You’re dead right about the Dreyfuss model, if that’s what you’re following.
2. That’s a good example. I think it happens offline too, right? The event session or the networking mixer.
3. There’s no question. It’s just part of business. It’s part of why the “social media expert” discussion doesn’t get attention from me. That stuff has existed everywhere since the dawn of time, and I’m definitely not arguing against that point. Only illustrating some behavior to perhaps encourage us to be thoughtful about it.
4. It’s awesome that you’re familiar with an inquisitive environment. I’m lucky that I work in one of those two, among people who value the unknown and the quest to know it. That’s a cool thing, and exactly what I hope both businesses and individuals aspire to.
5. I absolutely acknowledged that the “smart vs. dumb” thing was a crude delineation. It’s just illustrative of the larger discussion about the cycle of knowledge, to me. That’s what prompted the discussion in the first place. Reality though? Ego and labeling are part of everything we do. I think there’s ways we can work with the labels, though, to look at them with a fresh perspective.
That’s the beauty of learning; it’s incredibly individual. But I think it also has to be deliberate; something that’s active, not passive. Like I said, I don’t have all the answers here, nor am I asserting that any one path (other than willful ignorance) is “right”. Simply exploring things I’ve been thinking about, and wondering what others think too. Thanks for sharing your take.
And…
1. The old chestnut about it taking nine months from conception to birth needing one woman instead of nine women simultaneously pregnant for a month comes to mind. Not the best example, perhaps, but it seems to fit.
2. Sure, no doubt it happens during networking events. Sell, sell, sell…
3. I certainly agree with being thoughtful about what we do and say. š
4. I do think that the meeting attendees have an impact on how things happen, though. As we’ve seen in your post and here in the comments, there’s a real fear of not having the answers ready at the drop of a hat, especially in front of the customer. As for my own environment, it’s certainly not perfect but I think that there’s fewer chances to grandstand; it’s just the nature of the place.
5. Fair enough on “smart vs. dumb”… and it brings me to a thought that I hadn’t considered when I was writing this. It seems like there are many situations where it seems to pay to stand up, speak up and be seen. Yet, for so many years in the corporate world, the common wisdom was to NOT stand out and just conform instead. Of course, this depended on the job, company, and industry you were in… But it seems like there’s a third mode that you’ve identified that’s worth considering: the thoughtful listener who speaks their mind with a combination of logic, passion and emotional intelligence… but only when needed.
Um, I’m really not trying to grandstand here ( š ) but there was one other minor point I wanted to make about ego and labels… I’ve seen a lot of problem situations arise from what I would consider to be ego, sometimes to the point of hubris. I know that ego (at least in the form of self-esteem) is not unimportant but I also think it’s the cause of a lot of waste and pain. Personal opinion: I think it’s more than just changing labels from “smart” and “dumb” but it (the motivations which influence how we demonstrate knowledge and competency) also gets into a much larger discussion than the subject of your post. But it’s been a fun thought exercise. š
I don’t take thoughtful commentary as grandstanding. Isn’t that what we’re here to do? š
I’m really intrigued by your point about how we demonstrate (and by turn then) acknowledge intellect, knowledge, and competency. In what’s largely an evolving information era, that’s perhaps more pivotal than we think. Hmmm. Now you’ve got me thinking about that, and how it works in context of business. Ties into point 4 above, no?
And yes to the last bit of #5. What I’m chewing on is the emotionally intelligent person with regard to knowledge; there’s probably a bit of humility in there, some curiosity, but still the strength that exudes confidence (not arrogance) and the trust in others that even if they don’t have the answer, they’re an ally on the quest to finding it.
I think this quality that we’re talking about it something covered in Jim Collins’ book Good to Great, when he talks about the qualities of a Level 5 leader. If Collins had written that book in 2020 instead of in 2001, I think leaders would be taking in social networking and social media as a matter of course. But, more importantly, Collins’ description of Level 5 leaders seemed to show a certain amount of humbleness and openness to ideas and very little “ego”.
The sad thing about Jim Collins’ books is that he profiles companies in his books that often fall off the cliff sometime after he writes them… of course, there’s no causal link… š
Confidence. Confidence, self-acceptance and humility… they are parts of the equation.
One of my favorite quotes is “A wise man knows that he knows nothing.”
With my dad’s recent passing, I’ve been thinking about the things he’s taught me. Most of the time I wasn’t even aware he was teaching me, because he was more likely to offer his perspective, than he was to tell me “this is how you should do it.”
When my boyfriend, Christian, met him, he said “You realize that your dad is a genius, an unrecognized Steven Hawking, right?” My answer was an eloquent, “Huh?”
The thing is, since his death I’ve realized Christian was right, my dad WAS a genius. He became a semi-expert (if not an expert) in any subject he was interested in. Rare coins? He’s got it. Genealogy? How far back do you want to go? Tax law or need to plan your own estate or divorce? Here’s some tips and things to watch out for. Wargames and Strategy? Here is how Napoleon could have won Waterloo with scale models and figurines (he showed me when I was 8).
But most people didn’t know his knowledge was so vast. Because he didn’t talk about it. He was more like an 8-ball. Ask him a question, and if he didn’t have the answer he’d tell you “I don’t know, let me get back to you on that.” And he would.
All this saying, right now, I’m told I’m smart. Growing up I was told “You’re so smart. You have such potential” and it was a curse. Because what if I fail? What if I look stupid and suddenly I’m not smart anymore?
I honestly think I’d rather be dumb and enterprising… than smart and overwhelmed.
Kaye Porter
http://www.kayeporter.net
I saw someone repeat a comment from the CEO of McDonalds at a conference of some sort on Twitter, and I saved the tweet: “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re doing it wrong.”
I’ve heard many quotes along those lines, but I guess the gist is that, if you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re never going to get past your understanding of a situation. You’re not going to be pushed/challenged/elevated/debated — and those tussles are often where the best ideas are born.
When I said that to a friend, he said, “Well, you sure don’t want to be the dumbest person in the room, either, because no one will respect you, and you’ll constantly be running to catch up.” I explained that — while I’d rather be running to catch up than waiting a mile ahead — I think it’s more that you want to surround yourself with people who will elevate and challenge what you think, and how you see the world. It might not be “smarter”, per se, but more adept in a certain area, or more prone to process information in a specific way, or more knowledgeable, or more experienced, or even more sensitive or perceptive.
That’s been the appeal of web-based collaboration for me from the beginning — that I would connect with people who knew things or had skills that I didn’t, who could expand the way I saw the universe, and make me “smarter” (more knowledgeable, more wide-eyed?) as a result. I didn’t want to find more people who were exactly like me and saw the world the way I did and knew what I did (inasmuch as that’s a nice facet of community, too)… I wanted to find people who would push my buttons and take a run at my ideas, and make me want to dig into their heads and see what they saw.
Smarter, yep — quite likely, most of the time! — but just DIFFERENT. Not soul mates, but sparring partners who grow into trusted collaborators. And I don’t mean sparring in that we’re arguing our way to understanding, but the parry and thrust of those conversations that set you on fire.
When people hire me to write for them or help them come up with a strategy, then I guess they’re wanting me to step in and be the smartest person in the room, but I more want to be the best listener/processor — I want to listen, shake it up, reframe it, and put it down in a way that makes sense to the people they need it to make sense to. And do that better than they could without me.
Is that smarter? Or just right for the moment?
Could I write a longer comment? Gosh.
As Meg said, I’d certainly rather surround myself with people who will challenge the way I think and encourage me to grow than be the “smartest” person in the room. I think that’s the only way you can not only gain knowledge, but also show that you have the ability to impart that knowlege to others. I think there’s a certain ease about people who can engage in that discussion without making themselves the self-appointed expert. I get turned off by people who constantly feel the need to reiterate how smart they are and how much they know. To me, it feels as if they’re trying to cover up their insecurities by talking louder and that, in the end, limits their ability to really learn.
Is it fair to say the smartest person may also be the person that learns the most?
“But Iām learning that ā more and more ā perhaps Iād rather be the one in the room with the most to learn.” – so often, I appreciate following you and the other “smart kids” because I’m NOT the smartest in the room, because I CAN learn so much and still be able to scale it for my own work/research to be helpful to others… maybe it depends on the room?
This weekend I met someone – have overheard/eavesdropped on a conversation about her marketing efforts with handmade wares. She didn’t want one route for this reason, didn’t trust another for that, and “I have a facebook page and that’s about it, but I don’t know what to do with that”. In that moment, I was the smartest person for her in the room. But my personality is such that I realize by taking what I’ve got to teach, you can go do this yourself and learn more on your own through doing, and in the end I can learn from you – so I helped her, and I hope it works, and I hope she’s got something in her niche as these things work or don’t and I can learn from her as well.
Being smart in a way is very good but should not be over smart which will lead to downfall of our self and the ones who are counting on us.