I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.
Thomas Jefferson (1743 – 1826)
Your long-term success does not depend on fortunate turns of circumstance. Those that have made something of themselves – with rare heiress exception – didn’t just get handed everything they’ve got.
If you want to adjust where you’re headed, you have to be willing to slide behind the steering wheel and drive. All the energy and smarts you have in there can be channeled into cursing the impossibility of your circumstances, or into taking charge of as much as you can and embracing responsibility for your own actions.
Take chances.
So this isn’t necessarily the road I’d recommend for everyone, but almost three years ago, I quit my job. Without a plan (that’s the part I don’t recommend). But I knew I was unhappy, unfulfilled, unmotivated. I had a mortgage and a one year old daughter. But the future for me depended on my doing something different, and not waiting for that opportunity to come and find me. I knew I needed to create it.
Yours might not be so dramatic, or it might be. Maybe it’s doing what Chris Guillebeau did and moving halfway around the world to spend time dedicated to a cause you love. Maybe it’s just taking on a side project that could lead to bigger things. Starting a blog. Maybe it’s moving to a new city. How small or big those chances are depend on you, but I believe that nothing lifechanging happens unless there’s risk and chance involved.
Be willing to start somewhere. Or re-start somewhere. Maybe anywhere.
Many years ago, I worked as a lowly development assistant, filing papers and sharpening pencils (yes, for real). I held down three jobs while I earned my keep, because one job wouldn’t pay my rent. And I worked my tail off to earn more responsibility by proving I could not only meet expectations, but blow them out of the water. Are you willing to get your hands dirty, go above and beyond, start in the trenches?
If you can’t overhaul your career right now or make a big change because your finances prohibit, plan for it. Save money. Give yourself an exit strategy. When I quit my job, mine included the willingness to work at Target if I needed to to make ends meet, or to dust off my bartending skills. Are you willing to do what it takes? Whatever it takes?
If it’s not working, do something.
Unhappiness in your job and career can be exacerbated by a bad boss, a poor position fit, being downsized. But those are obstacles, not immutable truths. They are situational, not absolute. Ultimately, you’re in the driver’s seat. You can create something. And you can and do decide how to react to the challenges thrown in your path.
Everyone faces bad circumstances, bad timing, things out of our control. How we respond to those challenges counts for a lot. You can either curse the river and call yourself a victim of the current, or you can get busy and build a bridge.
Shake loose your notions of a “job”.
Some of you need and want to work for someone else. Some want to do their own thing. But there are zillions of ways to make a living, and not all of them are obvious. Be willing to get creative, crazy, sideways when you think about what your world might look like. As for what you majored in in college? I was a music performance major and didn’t graduate. That doesn’t have to dictate your world.
Jobs are moments. Careers – dare I say callings – are long, winding roads. They’re defined by the entire mosaic, not the individual tiles. Rework your notions of what constitutes a “job” or “work”, and suddenly the whole picture starts to look different.
Get good at something.
More tough love from the Tacks: If you want to be a marketer but you suck at marketing, it’s not going to work. If you want to be the next ProBlogger but you just don’t have the chops for writing and that relentless cycle of creating information, products, and affiliate marketing, you’ll constantly struggle. If you want to be a professional speaker but lack people skills and stage presence, that might not be the calling that suits you.
But you too have strengths. My friend Jason Amunwa is a crack designer and marketer for small business. Michelle Wolverton is outstanding at helping other people get organized and stay sane. My co-tack Tamsen has a gift for insight into what makes people tick, and what makes them unique. CC Chapman is one of the most creative people I know and he can help other people tap into their own creativity. Julien Smith has an uncanny ability to see the things in the world that other people miss and hit you upside the head with them (in a good way). James Chartrand can freaking write.
Being self-aware enough to know what you’re good at – and what you aren’t – is important to finding a career path that’s both exhilarating AND sets you up to be successful. That take some time and exploration, and the courage to ask other people’s help to identify those strengths. But it matters a great deal.
Let Go of Luck.
Not all of this has to apply to work. The same principles apply to personal fulfillment, though the lenses and words change a bit.
Either way, stop looking at people who seem to enjoy personal and professional success as “gosh, they’re so lucky to have a job/life/whatever they love.” Most of us who have jobs we enjoy have worked really freaking hard to get there, to design situations and circumstances in our favor, to walk away from situations that aren’t working, and most of us are never willing to settle for the status quo.
But there is plenty of room for you to join us. Plenty. In fact, I’ve got a seat right over here. But I’m guessing you have a few things to do first, so I’ll be here when you get back.
See you soon.
I love this, and I think it’s true for so many things in life, from work to relationships. Sometimes things seem to happen by chance, but more often than not, it’s hard work and dedication that puts you in the position to be able to receive the chance — and gives you the capacity to take advantage of it.
I think you and Tamsen both have that gift for recognizing value in people, and giving them the right kind of encouragement to discover that value in themselves. I only see that aspect of you from afar, but I appreciate it.
Thanks for writing this.
“I love this, and I think it’s true for so many things in life, from work to relationships.” I was going to say the same thing, and add that I know too many people who have no flipping idea what this post is about.
Very well-played, Amber – and I agree with Meg, you guys are spot on for what you’re doing here. Thanks for taking the time.
Here’s the problem with this, Amber. I’m going to call you out on something. Not all of us recognize what we’re good at. I certainly don’t. It takes me a long time to know when I’ve done something well. I set the bar too high and I set the bar much higher for myself than I do for others. Call it a flaw, if you like, but that’s the way I’m built.
I find it incredibly hard to recognize what skills I have, what projects I’ve done well, what to consider “successes” versus failures and how to promote myself. I wouldn’t know where to begin all over again and have a hard time even putting together a resume and cover letter when I’m asked. Other people recognize my strengths much easier than I do.
Secondly, I think that there is not necessarily a lot to be said for “luck” but there’s a lot to be said for who you know. This world is all about connections. If you know the right people, you’ve got a foot in the door where you didn’t before and that counts for a lot – I wouldn’t have the job I have now were it not for an introduction made through a personal contact. I’m willing to bet that a traditional resume and cover letter count for a lot less than a personal connection, at least at the beginning stages of hiring. If someone has a personal connection in HR, the resume goes to the top of the stack, the interview happens first. Call me cynical if you like, but I’m speaking from personal and second-hand experience.
Sara – I’m not sure I understand what you’re “calling me out” on. The ability to recognize your strengths takes work, but that’s no ones job but yours. And as I mentioned, sometimes it takes asking others to help you.
Who you know is important. Always has been since the dawn of time. But again, building and nurturing our networks is our own responsibility. That’s not luck either. That’s concerted effort.
I think that, at least to me, it sounded like you were taking for granted that we should all know our strengths and take advantage of them. To me, I guess that’s the hardest part, asking others for help in recognizing and growing those strengths.
Building and growing those networks certainly isn’t luck. That’s cultivation of an important community. Sometimes that’s more important than a resume.
This is what I said: “Being self-aware enough to know what you’re good at – and what you aren’t – is important to finding a career path that’s both exhilarating AND sets you up to be successful. That takes some time and exploration, and the courage to ask other people’s help to identify those strengths. ”
The last part. We *should* all know our strengths. But discovering them takes work, and it isn’t instant. It feels to me like you’re frustrated that you don’t understand your strengths, which is fine and understandable, but learning what those are is something we each have to devote effort to. And hard or not, if you can’t sort it out on your own, you *have* to be willing to enlist help. If your work isn’t driven by what you’re good at, where will you end up?
I also think knowing what you’re good at and having high standards for yourself are two totally different things. We’re all our own worst critics. But that doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility of putting in the effort.
I didn’t say anything about a resume, either. I think resumes have their place, but I’ve certainly never advocated that they’re the thing that’s going to help you succeed in your career. Most of my career moves have been because of a relationship I had, not because of a job listing I applied for. When I started my business, my first clients came from relationships I had and people that trusted me. So you’ll never hear me deny that the strength of your network and the work you put into cultivating it is really, really important.
You’re right; you did say that you have to be self-aware enough to know what you’re good at and that you need to seek others’ help to identify strengths if you can’t do it alone. And I am frustrated that I can’t do it alone and I am frustrated that I have to ask for help.
You ask a really important question: “If your work isn’t driven by what you’re good at, where will you end up?” and I think this is the crux of where I am at currently.
The high standards I hold for myself apply to everything in life, not just work…but that’s probably a discussion for another day and time.
You’ve given me a lot to think about, so for the time being, I’ll just be over here mulling it over…
I’m more than happy to talk it through with you anytime, Sara, and help if I can. Feel free to email me at amber@brasstackthinking.com and we can talk. Finding what you’re good at is a journey, not a one time thing. As you and your talents evolve, so does that picture. But it *can* be done, and dedicating some brainpower to it can really help you focus.
Fantastic post Amber. And I love how you’ve responded to cloverdew’s concerns.
Sara, you should really consider taking up Amber’s offer to continue the dialogue. I’ve found, through my own experiences, that most of my own breakthroughs have come from simply continuing the dialogue with others… Asking and answering some tough questions…I’ve done coaching for others and have also been coached.
Amber might just be able to offer the flint, to create the spark… And you’ve already got the fire.
Great stuff here, on both ends… Keep searching Sara, it sounds like you’re on the right track,
I completely believe this! I feel very fortunate to be where I am in life and career right now, but I did take some big risks and made some big changes to get there. I left a stable job to work for a start-up company that turned out to only be a short-term position (I was laid off 10 months after I started). It was a challenging time in my career and life (I had also recently called of my wedding), but it gave me the jump start to the path that led me to a career that I love.
I do feel “lucky” about where I am today, but it certainly was in part a result from the decisions I made and the risks I took.
Great post!
Great post Amber. Did a lot of these points over the last 18 months and don’t plan to look back. Making it happen and not worrying about the things you can’t control is important.
Amber, as usual, your post is thoughtful, insightful, and includes poignant examples. I smiled when I read about you quitting an unfulfilling job, being unhappy, and having a one year old daughter at the time. You and I have that in common. 🙂 (which I somehow equate to me being cool like you)
When we were evaluating some pretty drastic changes ourselves, my husband said, “It’s not permanent, it’s just next.” That was so freeing to me. I knew that we could weather pretty much anything; we’d each done it separately in our lives and were a damn good partnership. So remembering that (most) changes can be undone allowed me to get out, get well, and get back.
Christine, I love the “it’s not permanent, it’s just next” thing. Totally
going to steal that. And glad you have the kind of partnership that supports
big changes and taking chances. Good for you.
None of us walk straight into our dream job. It takes several steps like you mentioned (and a ton of work) to get to those places. Anybody with success has taken jobs they weren’t thrilled about. When it comes to those career steps and doing jobs that aren’t “thrilling” to us, here’s my take:
– There’s always a new skill or something to learn and take with you from those experiences
– Just because you don’t like where you work doesn’t mean you can’t be dang good at your job.
No matter where you’re at, the effort should be there. Great opportunities will stem from hard work.
Thanks for this post, Amber!
Having come from a similar situation only a year ago, I found I was inspired to know that I’m not the only one that woke up one day and realized I didn’t enjoy my career.
As a teacher, there were many wonderful and rewarding aspects (namely the kids, and seeing growth) but I didn’t wake up in the morning and look forward to work…in fact I often dreaded it starting after dinner the night before! After a lot of soul-searching I realized that I – like many others, I think – had decided that teaching skills = school classroom….and it just wasn’t working for me: the negativity and politics were driving me mad! So I quit….also with no plan…except that I would do *anything* to find something that would not drag me down. It felt good…I was confidant I had made the right choice and my husband supported me….at least until the people in my life started panicking FOR me instead of supporting me in my decision. I faced a number of people (many also educators) who viewed my choice as the symptom of poor character and lack of gumption. Many, to this day, refer to my chosen career as a “job” (“Well at least it’s a job…for now…”). I now wonder how many of THEM are content in their careers, or if they were projecting their discontent on me.
I love my career. I’ll say it again: I LOVE WHAT I DO. I look forward to work every morning, without fail – even before my coffee! In my opinion, what you do for a living doesn’t define you…but it can drastically impact your quality of life. Most of us spend 1/3rd of our day sleeping, 1/3rd of our day at play/with kids/doing chores, etc. and 1/3rd of our day at WORK. If you are unhappy in your job/career…that’s 1/3rd of your life you’re basically wasting: potentially more if your work is affecting the quality of the other 2/3rds of your day!
I’m going to go pull the horseshoe out of my ass and back you up here 100%.
Elbow grease is underrated in a world filled with Twitter Spam, Facebook ads and work-from-home scams. What happened to the times where everything was a small business and everyone built what they had by their own hands and minds? There is no chance.
Maybe if we stopped looking for chance and started looking for an extra can of elbow grease, I think it’s possible we’d start finding what it is we’re REALLY looking for.
Good one, Amber 🙂
Yep, I was just talking about this today with someone. For my own project, people are now starting to say, “wow, you’re partnering with so-and-so and working with such-and-such company and doing your own thing – you’re so lucky to be able to do that!”
And yes, I AM lucky to be able to do this for an (almost) living now. But getting there was anything but luck. It was 18 months of constant hard work and sacrifice and near-giving up more times than I can count. Consistent, quality effort over time yields results. Simple as that.
Great post, Amber – consider yourself backed up.
Really great and motivating advice!
I especially like “Shake loose your notions of a ‘job’.” When I look at big corporations like Google and others at Silicon Valley, they all know how to “work hard” but also “play hard.” I think a job is too often seen as tedious work (something that is not supposed to be fun) rather than looking at productivity in a fun way. This doesn’t just help you enjoy work more, it also makes you a BETTER worker because all productivity requires a bit of creativity, and playing (which is really just another way of saying “trial and error”) is a great way to be more creative.
Hope to read more from you soon!
I echo the others – good post! My husband struggled for a while, upset that he hadn’t found his calling, thinking he was “behind”. Then he discovered his true interest and took the step to go back to school to pursue it. I’m very proud of him for taking the risk and making the change. He is so much happier. I’m surrounded by people who define jobs/ careers differently. With a brother who is an artist and a brother who is a drummer, you get a new perspective on careers and doing what you need to in order to support them.
I’m the office mouse of the family and I often toss and turn on the risk of dropping it all and trying something completely different. When asked to create a career map, I couldn’t shove myself in the confines of the org chart definitions. I took a step back and examined my seemingly diverse interests and discovered a common thread – then built my map around that. It won’t be easy. The path fits with what our company stands for, but is a totally different way of thinking and I won’t be handed the dream job to run with. There’s a lot of campaigning. And maybe the path leads to other pastures. I’m willing to explore that. But at least i have that first step done.
This is great. When we started Wood Street we were basically beginning at the end of a failed negotiation to buy an established company. We were scared to death of starting something completely new (especially in the unstable tech climate of 2002). But as you stated, risk is an important part of success. We were calculated and did what we believed would be successful. You definitely make your own luck. Love it or hate it, it’s the American Way. Taking chances, finding your strengths and acknowledging your weaknesses, this is what being an entrepreneur is all about! Thanks Amber, great post!
A wonderful post, Amber. I read a book several years back that was in the same vein (and helpful at the time) called ‘UnHypnosis’ by Steve Taubman. One of the things that caught my attention was a comment in it regarding the axiom that nature abhors a vacuum. If you’re busy clinging to something that’s good enough or liveable, the fantastic will never find it’s way to you. “Whenever we create space, answers rush in to fill the emptiness.” Having a plan before you leap is wonderful, but sometimes you need the space and the quiet in order to create a plan that really works. All of which seems to be wonderfully illustrated by the soaring we all now see in you and your work.
Thanks, Amber. You’ve validated the path that I have been on for the past two years. The challenge for me lies in remembering that it takes time — a lot of it, and I’m not the most patient person in the world. Sometimes I wonder if I “should” have pushed harder… maybe I could have, but I didn’t intuit it at the time. Meanwhile I’m still learning (I don’t even know whether I suck at marketing yet 😉 ) and although it’s hard not to be able to afford things I really want for my kids, I’m confident that in the not too distant future, I will… if anything because the process you just outlined is ongoing, steps to be learned and relearned over and over again until it clicks.
I agree with most you say, but I never underestimate the underlaying “luck” factor in some things.
Meeting the right person at the right time of your life isn’t something you can plan or be prepared for. It just happens, one day, out of the blue. This is how I got started in my business. It’s undoubtable that without certain skills I had and past experiences, that meeting would’ve been just a fruitless one, but nevertheless, I think they are all important factors.
It’s bad to call it “luck”, no one likes to think of not being in control of absolutely every aspect of their future, but I don’t have any better term for it.
Thanks, Amber. Another great post! I do take my time to navigate the interwebs and look for just the best content, and I’m happy to say you’re one of the gems I’ve come across. Most of your posts resonate well in me, and this one is no exception.
I got our of college with a degree in Computer Science, and started my work right away in a Tech company. I did it all: tech support, programming, information analysis, databases, computer security (still a personal passion), you name it. My real passion was (and still is) Computer Security; you know, “hacker stuff”, but for good guys. I was shocked to find that where I live (Cancun,Mexico) Computer Security is just basically overlooked. Either they care about it and give that responsability to central corporate offices in Mexico City, or they just don’t care/know about it. And, after my son was born, I just didn’t wanted to relocate to another place, as I always want to be here, with and for him.
So, eventually a friend of mine introduced me to Twitter, and that was that. Fast forward now, and I work as the Community Manager for a large international group of vacation ownership resorts. I found something that appealed to me, adapted my focus to it, read a lot, put knowledge into practice too when I started Cancun is Safe! (www.cancunissafe.com), put my passion & energy into it, and here we are now. I feel like I’ve successfully shifted my career into something different that I enjoy very much doing.
Thanks for constantly putting out one of the best content I can find out there these days. I’m happy for you and your career change too!
Warm regards from Cancun.
Fantastic, I hope a lot of people see this. I am a firm believer in following your passions and working hard to get where you want to be. I also think it is o.k. to change course if you change your mind. I happen to love what I do. It has nothing to do with luck, it has to do with paying attention, being honest with myself, listening to people I trust, and getting my grubby little paws dirty. Thanks for the reminder!
It is incredibly hard to change careers mid life and make it! My husband and I both decided (because of certain circumstances and health issues) to do this.
We have had some really rough times and it ain’t over yet. The problem is you can’t both do this at the same time…somebody has to bring home the bacon!
The length time it has taken for us to be modestly successful at our new career choice(s) has been longer than we anticipated. Despite the fact that we are both working on something we love and have dreamed of doing, we are not making it yet.
As an artist I make the least amount of income right now, so I will have to be seriously looking at taking an outside job (probably minimum wage) just to ease the pressure a little. My husband has taken his turns at short term, but high paying jobs in his old field, but his dreams and efforts for a new Property Management business tend to go ‘on hold,’ while he does this, despite my help at trying to keep it going. He can’t ‘grow his business’ and work full-time too.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to do what I have to do to keep us going for health reasons, but I am determined that we are not giving up our dreams.
This is just a bump in the road, something that we have to go through to get where we want to be. It will be hard for me to maintain the momentum I have gained as a digital artist, blogger and beginner instructor of digital art, but I hope my six years of hard work won’t go down the drain. I started out knowing nothing about digital art (and having no art training whatsoever), and knowing nothing about blogging and websites. I have learned an incredible amount on my own and am proud of my achievements so far. So, if and when things get better for us and I can return to my art full-time, and his business starts to grow, we’ll know we got there by hard work and sacrifice…no luck involved at all!
Generally I do not post on blogs, but I would like to say that this post really forced me to do so. Really nice post!
This is really wonderful post. It tallies exactly with my experience over the past few years and is well spoken and quotable. I’ve added it to http://www.delicious.com/kwooleyy and will return to it often. Thanks.
Love this post. Glad someone pointed me to it as I wrote a similar type article about it a year back.
http://www.thesquab.com/2009/12/true-luck/
Great post and keep up the hustle.
Amber, I can’t decide which I’m more honored by: the mention or the esteemed company! =D
I really like the advice here – I only realized recently that life’s too short to be struggling with things that you’re no good at (and don’t want to be). So partner up! Find the person or people who can complement your skills (the old saying about 1 and 1 making 11, yadda, yadda), and just freaking start.
Start planning, start practicing, start making something. Today. Now. Why are you still reading this?