Ugliness exists all over the place. It happens around us every day, and irrationality abounds. Human nature, I suppose.
On Twitter, though, and more largely throughout all of social media, it happens in the bubble for the whole Twitterverse to see. Calling someone out doesn’t require a letter to the editor, or a phone call, or even the bravery of a face-to-face discussion. You just have to blog it or tweet it, and perhaps others looking for a little scuffle or excitement might join you.
You can embarass someone, tear them down, insult them, spew offensive junk. In short bursts, without apology or discussion should you so choose. Often without the prerequisite of research or information r perspective or consequence. And you can slip away afterwards, while your 140 character attacks on people or companies get amplified.
Intelligent discourse is one thing, but personal vilification in the name of “argument” is entirely another.
For all of our discussion of the need to understand and embrace the human connections facilitated by social media, we can quickly forget that humans indeed are on the other side of our verbal swords.
The heart of constructive discussion and dissent is respect. And if we’re ever to truly cement social media’s credibility as a mechanism for community building, business, and personal interaction, we need to be much more careful about allowing mob mentality creep into our interactions and unraveling some of the hard work and strides being made in this arena for those who hope to build and learn instead of tear down.
I welcome your discussion, your dissent, your opinions and thoughts. I welcome your perspective, for without them my world would be dull and myopic. But know this. I personally won’t tolerate base personal attacks on my community or my friends. I won’t support or perpetuate nastiness and vitriol in this medium that I believe in so much (most especially over a freaking blog post and a $500 gift card). And I hope that you, dear readers, will continue fighting the good fight by doing and encouraging others to do what your Mama taught you, and holding your tongue if you can’t find a way to make your point like an intelligent adult.
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Amen. I actually forced myself to step away from twitter earlier because I was -thisclose- to saying something mean to someone who was saying something mean to someone else. Apparently not all of us learned everything we needed to learn in kindergarten. 😐
Amy Derbys last blog post..amyderby: RT @havi: If you love to write and could use some extra work/money, @copylicious wrote a "personal ad" for you: http://is.gd/bFyF
Amen. I actually forced myself to step away from twitter earlier because I was -thisclose- to saying something mean to someone who was saying something mean to someone else. Apparently not all of us learned everything we needed to learn in kindergarten. 😐
Amy Derbys last blog post..amyderby: RT @havi: If you love to write and could use some extra work/money, @copylicious wrote a "personal ad" for you: http://is.gd/bFyF
“For all of our discussion of the need to understand and embrace the human connections facilitated by social media, we can quickly forget that humans indeed are on the other side of our verbal swords.”
Amen. It’s one thing to voice disagreement with someone’s actions, it’s completely another to use your disagreement to fuel attacks based on inaccurate and/or faulty assumptions.
That happened early and often this weekend, and it said far more about the accusers, than the accused.
Amber
Great followup to the mess that the mob made what could have been a constructive discussion about blogging, the future of brand interaction, and the ability of well known bloggers to blaze a path not only for lesser known bloggers but to them for other brands to find them.
Shame that some in Social Media feel that they “own” the truth without doing their research and when they are called out for it, they take their “ball” and go home deciding that they have discussed enough and are moving on. Thank goodness for people like you who continue to point out this type of behavior and encourage the rest of us to do so as well. It is necessary only for the good blogger to do nothing for ugliness & misinformation to triumph (obviously paraphrasing).
Simon
Simon Salts last blog post..Seven Things You Didn’t Know About Me
“For all of our discussion of the need to understand and embrace the human connections facilitated by social media, we can quickly forget that humans indeed are on the other side of our verbal swords.”
Amen. It’s one thing to voice disagreement with someone’s actions, it’s completely another to use your disagreement to fuel attacks based on inaccurate and/or faulty assumptions.
That happened early and often this weekend, and it said far more about the accusers, than the accused.
Amber
Great followup to the mess that the mob made what could have been a constructive discussion about blogging, the future of brand interaction, and the ability of well known bloggers to blaze a path not only for lesser known bloggers but to them for other brands to find them.
Shame that some in Social Media feel that they “own” the truth without doing their research and when they are called out for it, they take their “ball” and go home deciding that they have discussed enough and are moving on. Thank goodness for people like you who continue to point out this type of behavior and encourage the rest of us to do so as well. It is necessary only for the good blogger to do nothing for ugliness & misinformation to triumph (obviously paraphrasing).
Simon
Simon Salts last blog post..Seven Things You Didn’t Know About Me
I think you and I are very much on the same page as far as this goes. It’s not about rules, it’s about helping each other figure out how to tread into new territory with compassion.
I am so glad that you occupy this space with me because I can always come to you for thoughtful criticism that never seeks to diminish or harm. For this reason, I have a lot of respect for your work, but I’ve also come to regard you as a friend.
Shannon Pauls last blog post..The Tao of Social Media
I think you and I are very much on the same page as far as this goes. It’s not about rules, it’s about helping each other figure out how to tread into new territory with compassion.
I am so glad that you occupy this space with me because I can always come to you for thoughtful criticism that never seeks to diminish or harm. For this reason, I have a lot of respect for your work, but I’ve also come to regard you as a friend.
Shannon Pauls last blog post..The Tao of Social Media
My two cents. Not sure we need a blog about this, just brings more attention to all the wrong things. There is always going to be disagreements or people making commments w/o fact finding. Let’s focus on making a difference which so many bloggers have been doing and will continue to do.
My two cents. Not sure we need a blog about this, just brings more attention to all the wrong things. There is always going to be disagreements or people making commments w/o fact finding. Let’s focus on making a difference which so many bloggers have been doing and will continue to do.
Here, here. I was pretty dismayed not only at this debate, but also the exchange that has been going on between Americans and Europeans following the Le Web conference, as evidenced here http://tinyurl.com/5urh4s
What we see online is a reflection of what happens offline, and so while this is upsetting, it is not likely to go away any time soon.
Amrita Chandras last blog post..Armchair Art Viewings
Here, here. I was pretty dismayed not only at this debate, but also the exchange that has been going on between Americans and Europeans following the Le Web conference, as evidenced here http://tinyurl.com/5urh4s
What we see online is a reflection of what happens offline, and so while this is upsetting, it is not likely to go away any time soon.
Amrita Chandras last blog post..Armchair Art Viewings
Ah, Amber, now I see why you chose to “step away from the chalupa/keyboard” yesterday while writing. Kudos to you for taking positive action about an event that troubled and concerned you. Too many might have chosen other paths, or nonaction.
I think your greatest point was the one about respect–engendering and maintaining a mutually respectful atmosphere is not exclusive to people sharing an opinion or perspective. They don’t have to be on the same side of an issue. We CAN and indeed we should root healthy debate and discussion in a bed of respect.
Heather Rasts last blog post..Seven Realities About Your Host
Ah, Amber, now I see why you chose to “step away from the chalupa/keyboard” yesterday while writing. Kudos to you for taking positive action about an event that troubled and concerned you. Too many might have chosen other paths, or nonaction.
I think your greatest point was the one about respect–engendering and maintaining a mutually respectful atmosphere is not exclusive to people sharing an opinion or perspective. They don’t have to be on the same side of an issue. We CAN and indeed we should root healthy debate and discussion in a bed of respect.
Heather Rasts last blog post..Seven Realities About Your Host
Thanks, guys. Mack, I agree with you that the ugly side of tolerance reared it’s head this weekend. And Simon, misinformation isn’t new, but setting impossible standards for some righteous idea of what’s tolerable in social media (and dragging people’s good names through the mud in the meantime) is getting me weary indeed. Black and white rarely if ever does anyone any good.
Shannon, that respect and friendship is so very mutual. I appreciate you more than I can say.
I think you said this best in a tweet I favored yesterday Amber:
I think authenticity and being sponsored aren’t mutually exclusive. And it’s a blog. It’s not a humanitarian crisis.
Well said in the Occum’s razor of communication and mutual respect.
Melissas last blog post..10 Minutes of LIPB Updates! Holy Crap.
I think you said this best in a tweet I favored yesterday Amber:
I think authenticity and being sponsored aren’t mutually exclusive. And it’s a blog. It’s not a humanitarian crisis.
Well said in the Occum’s razor of communication and mutual respect.
Melissas last blog post..10 Minutes of LIPB Updates! Holy Crap.
Amber,
It’s really sad that people will hide behind technology to say and do things they would normally not do to someone’s face. It is disheartening to read the venom that spews from some people when during these discussions when they vocalize their “professional” opinions in unprofessional and hurtful ways.
The beauty of social media is that it can be applied in so many ways and that we have the choice of how we wish to use it. As long as there is full disclosure, I see no harm.
Debra Murphys last blog post..A Simple Marketing Review
Amber,
It’s really sad that people will hide behind technology to say and do things they would normally not do to someone’s face. It is disheartening to read the venom that spews from some people when during these discussions when they vocalize their “professional” opinions in unprofessional and hurtful ways.
The beauty of social media is that it can be applied in so many ways and that we have the choice of how we wish to use it. As long as there is full disclosure, I see no harm.
Debra Murphys last blog post..A Simple Marketing Review
Amber,
Geoff Livingston’s comparison of the Twitterverse to the infamous mobs of the French Revolution was indeed an apt one, and worthy of note (potential apologies to Olivier Blanchard notwithstanding).
Your personal integrity and kindheartedness are obvious, as is your general good sense. However, jealousy and “disprespectful” self-serving behaviour are inherent elements of “human” dialogue, throughout history, and across all media. That our political dialogue embraces the ubiquitous “attack ads” of the recent campaigns is a testament to the darker side of human nature.
Newspapers have a long tradition of “muckraking”, which continues to this day. Multiplying zealots of all stripes pontificate increasingly on openly partisan cable programming. Cliques and parties form and dissolve. The mob elevates, and then tears down its own.
Standards of personal integrity and self-restraint are one answer. Conscious and intelligent checks and balances within our institustions and our forums are another. I support your exemplary modelling of the first, and implicit call for the second. Having said that though, I suggest that we will succeed with creating those necessary checks and balances only when we recognize that the fully authentic human interactions we seek inherently reflect both the darker and lighter sides of our nature.
I enjoy reading your posts. Chris clearly has a good friend. Keep up the good work…
Mike
Amber,
Geoff Livingston’s comparison of the Twitterverse to the infamous mobs of the French Revolution was indeed an apt one, and worthy of note (potential apologies to Olivier Blanchard notwithstanding).
Your personal integrity and kindheartedness are obvious, as is your general good sense. However, jealousy and “disprespectful” self-serving behaviour are inherent elements of “human” dialogue, throughout history, and across all media. That our political dialogue embraces the ubiquitous “attack ads” of the recent campaigns is a testament to the darker side of human nature.
Newspapers have a long tradition of “muckraking”, which continues to this day. Multiplying zealots of all stripes pontificate increasingly on openly partisan cable programming. Cliques and parties form and dissolve. The mob elevates, and then tears down its own.
Standards of personal integrity and self-restraint are one answer. Conscious and intelligent checks and balances within our institustions and our forums are another. I support your exemplary modelling of the first, and implicit call for the second. Having said that though, I suggest that we will succeed with creating those necessary checks and balances only when we recognize that the fully authentic human interactions we seek inherently reflect both the darker and lighter sides of our nature.
I enjoy reading your posts. Chris clearly has a good friend. Keep up the good work…
Mike
Mike,
You’re absolutely right that this isn’t new. Far from it. I think, however, that the wildfire of the interwebs can make it that much more prominent, widespread, and amplified when it happens.
And you make a good point. Checks and balances only come when perspective is bestowed through the good as well as the bad.
Thank you for your eloquent comment, and for being part of my little universe over here.
Although I’ve never been to London I social networking appears often as similar to Hyde Park where anyone can speak about anything from their ‘soap box’. And what is a blog but a soap box.
The success or failure of any public forum that has no restrictions is dependent on it’s relevance. As long as the discussions, ideas, arguments, etc., good or bad, supportive or vindictive, are relevant to a substantial number of listeners, participants, then it will survive. Once people stop listening, or participating, it will evaporate or simply become irrelevant.
Based on the rate of change in the social-discourse-dot-com environment we may begin to see social media change as rapidly as the increase in computing capacity: Moore’s law applied to the social scene but in the reverse.
At some near future we could wind up talking to our selves.
Dick Podulkas last blog post..Off the track…well maybe
Although I’ve never been to London I social networking appears often as similar to Hyde Park where anyone can speak about anything from their ‘soap box’. And what is a blog but a soap box.
The success or failure of any public forum that has no restrictions is dependent on it’s relevance. As long as the discussions, ideas, arguments, etc., good or bad, supportive or vindictive, are relevant to a substantial number of listeners, participants, then it will survive. Once people stop listening, or participating, it will evaporate or simply become irrelevant.
Based on the rate of change in the social-discourse-dot-com environment we may begin to see social media change as rapidly as the increase in computing capacity: Moore’s law applied to the social scene but in the reverse.
At some near future we could wind up talking to our selves.
Dick Podulkas last blog post..Off the track…well maybe
It’s a thing I’ve learned that I remind myself of whenever attacks turn personal on the internet – the last bastion of argument when all other rational lines of thought have been exhausted is personal attack.
If someone starts calling me names, it usually means they’ve either run out of logical arguments, or had none to begin with.
Either way, I must’ve said or done something right, or the discussion wouldn’t have to devolve to character attacks for the other person to feel they’ve “won.”
It’s easier to remember the day after, but it’s good to remind ourselves of when we’re in the thick of it! 🙂
Lucretia Pruitts last blog post..What is Your Time Worth? What’s Worth Your Time?
It’s a thing I’ve learned that I remind myself of whenever attacks turn personal on the internet – the last bastion of argument when all other rational lines of thought have been exhausted is personal attack.
If someone starts calling me names, it usually means they’ve either run out of logical arguments, or had none to begin with.
Either way, I must’ve said or done something right, or the discussion wouldn’t have to devolve to character attacks for the other person to feel they’ve “won.”
It’s easier to remember the day after, but it’s good to remind ourselves of when we’re in the thick of it! 🙂
Lucretia Pruitts last blog post..What is Your Time Worth? What’s Worth Your Time?
Aaah – just reminds me why I don’t ‘twitter’: ’cause the internet is a shallow pool. I commented on a post at Conversation Agent in a different context(http://www.conversationagent.com/2008/12/youve-got-comments.html)
But the principle is the same. As I said then:
The very bottom line (if we were honest) is that blogs are marketing tools to help build brands/ get business even if we have to suffer through relationships to get there. (It drew a ‘sharpish’ response from Valeria – but I satand by those comments.)
Social Media has resolved the what & the why – but the ‘how’ has a long way to go.
Denniss last blog post..The horse’s arse & your strategy
Aaah – just reminds me why I don’t ‘twitter’: ’cause the internet is a shallow pool. I commented on a post at Conversation Agent in a different context(http://www.conversationagent.com/2008/12/youve-got-comments.html)
But the principle is the same. As I said then:
The very bottom line (if we were honest) is that blogs are marketing tools to help build brands/ get business even if we have to suffer through relationships to get there. (It drew a ‘sharpish’ response from Valeria – but I satand by those comments.)
Social Media has resolved the what & the why – but the ‘how’ has a long way to go.
Denniss last blog post..The horse’s arse & your strategy
You’ve stated the thoughts that have been in my head tonight. The mobs are what’s holding us back as our industry tries to evolve and become more relevant for business.
We need to continue preaching learning and having that intelligent discourse to prevail over the mobs on their social media high-horse.
Sonny Gills last blog post..what makes a great community manager?
You’ve stated the thoughts that have been in my head tonight. The mobs are what’s holding us back as our industry tries to evolve and become more relevant for business.
We need to continue preaching learning and having that intelligent discourse to prevail over the mobs on their social media high-horse.
Sonny Gills last blog post..what makes a great community manager?
I’m often amazed at the conclusions people can come to without knowing all the facts. And then speak their mind about it.
I haven’t been on Twitter in a few days, so I’m getting the reactions for this incident only in blog posts.
Too often we forget that there’s a person on the other side of each tweet, blog post, and keyboard. Jumping on the mob bandwagon is anti-relationship building especially while developing trust is the goal.
I’m often amazed at the conclusions people can come to without knowing all the facts. And then speak their mind about it.
I haven’t been on Twitter in a few days, so I’m getting the reactions for this incident only in blog posts.
Too often we forget that there’s a person on the other side of each tweet, blog post, and keyboard. Jumping on the mob bandwagon is anti-relationship building especially while developing trust is the goal.
A great man often asks me about the greater public discussions of the day, “Why can’t we disagree without being disagreeable?” I never know the answer. But I do know that when you are able to be one without the other, your voice is louder than others and your point is often made beyond your wildest expectations.
To those who have been disagreeable with Amber, Chris or whomever else, grow up. To those who haven’t, thank you.
Jason Fallss last blog post..Brand Reputation Case Study: Network Solutions
A great man often asks me about the greater public discussions of the day, “Why can’t we disagree without being disagreeable?” I never know the answer. But I do know that when you are able to be one without the other, your voice is louder than others and your point is often made beyond your wildest expectations.
To those who have been disagreeable with Amber, Chris or whomever else, grow up. To those who haven’t, thank you.
Jason Fallss last blog post..Brand Reputation Case Study: Network Solutions
Thank you, Amber, for raising the issue of civil discourse. Marc Meyer and I tweeted back & forth on the topic earlier this morning, including the fact that those on the periphery of the original discussion decided to make it personal. I noted that “the next discussion we need to have is about tone of engagement.” He added “tone, context, and meaning of engagement.”
So thank you for starting the discussion.
Best,
Daria
Daria Steigmans last blog post..(This Will Go On) Your Permanent Record
Thank you, Amber, for raising the issue of civil discourse. Marc Meyer and I tweeted back & forth on the topic earlier this morning, including the fact that those on the periphery of the original discussion decided to make it personal. I noted that “the next discussion we need to have is about tone of engagement.” He added “tone, context, and meaning of engagement.”
So thank you for starting the discussion.
Best,
Daria
Daria Steigmans last blog post..(This Will Go On) Your Permanent Record
Apart from the baseless and unwarranted attacks by so many people that had previously called Chris a leader in transparency and honesty, my other big disappointment in this “saga” was Jeremy’s original Tweet that started everything off.
As an analyst at such an influential company, I was always of the view he would gather information and report facts. I certainly didn’t expect him to state an opinion and then contact the parties afterward to check facts.
Particularly when his Tweet was implying that the sponsored blog post in question wasn’t authentic…
Danny Browns last blog post..How to Sell Twitter to a Client (Or Even Your Own Boss)
Apart from the baseless and unwarranted attacks by so many people that had previously called Chris a leader in transparency and honesty, my other big disappointment in this “saga” was Jeremy’s original Tweet that started everything off.
As an analyst at such an influential company, I was always of the view he would gather information and report facts. I certainly didn’t expect him to state an opinion and then contact the parties afterward to check facts.
Particularly when his Tweet was implying that the sponsored blog post in question wasn’t authentic…
Danny Browns last blog post..How to Sell Twitter to a Client (Or Even Your Own Boss)
Well put. I have been on the other side of personal attacks on the internet. For some reason it is easy to forget that there are real people, spouses, and children on the other side. I do not mind criticism, in fact I welcome it. The feedback can provide valuable information. Personal and vicious attacks are absolutely unacceptable.
Clint Stonebrakers last blog post..Disidentification
Well put. I have been on the other side of personal attacks on the internet. For some reason it is easy to forget that there are real people, spouses, and children on the other side. I do not mind criticism, in fact I welcome it. The feedback can provide valuable information. Personal and vicious attacks are absolutely unacceptable.
Clint Stonebrakers last blog post..Disidentification