Today, an important question and topic from BTT regular contributor, Matt Ridings.
I’ve always been verbose. It’s this undeniable need to have people truly ‘understand’ what I’m saying, and it takes a lot of words to try and get nuance across. Combine that with the fact that I’m a very fast typist and you can understand why some of my emails may look more like novellas.
However, in the world of texting, chat, and social media platforms like Twitter where true synchronous conversations take place there is a greater value necessarily placed on brevity.
The danger with writing very conversationally combined with brevity is that it’s very easy to misunderstand the other person. Not such a big deal when it’s a friend of yours and you can simply correct the misunderstanding and move on, but for a community manager or other customer facing personnel in a corporation it can be disastrous.
The Importance of Tone of Voice
We may think we technically speak the same language as the other person, but we don’t. I don’t mean the subtle variations like being from Tennessee and speaking to a New Yorker, or the big ones like someone who speaks little of your language at all.
I mean ‘other people’ like the person who grew up next to you as your neighbor and that you’ve known all your life. You each have idiosyncrasies in the way you express yourselves that while easy enough to understand when heard verbally, can have their perceived meaning completely bastardized when expressed in short snippets of writing.
Primary among these catalysts for miscommunication is the perceived “Tone Of Voice” (TOV). In these digital conversational exchanges we tend to overlay a mental ‘voice’ onto what we are reading. The more closely we know the individual, the better we are at successfully interpreting that TOV.
Lost In Translation
In a customer scenario, however, it is rarely the case that they know the individual they are speaking to so they project a TOV that is tainted by their emotional perspective of the business. It is understanding these factors, and being better able to identify the types of phrases that are more easily misunderstood, that will make for more successful communications in these environments.
For example: If a customer is entering the conversation angry at the company, then a simple statement intended as empathy such as “That’s too bad, so sorry about that” can easily be read as sarcastic, demeaning, and flippant. On the other hand, the statement “First, just let me apologize, that’s unacceptable” is very difficult to misinterpret.
Then there are those phrases that can carry a great deal of meaning, or none at all, depending on the TOV. If you respond to someones statement with “I see”, what did that really mean? Did it mean you said it with surprise in your voice and it was a lightbulb moment of understanding? Did it mean you said it with a bit of disdain and that you were disagreeing with the statement with a roll of your eyes?
As for sarcasm, something I am well acquainted with, just be aware that it’s a black hole at the center of the business communications universe from which there is no escape. Assume that it WILL be misinterpreted.
Identifying and avoiding these communication traps is critical to successful online communications, and should be required training for any customer facing personnel in your business.
Lastly, this in no way means that you can’t be conversational, or that you can’t somehow ‘be you’. There’s no need to feel like you have to pause and parse every word before you say it and speak at a pace that would make Christopher Walken blush. With a little awareness of those grammatical stones that are waiting to trip you up you can avoid them quite naturally and instinctually over time.
What are those phrases that you find easily misunderstood? Please share with the class in the comments below.
Cheers,
Matt Ridings – @techguerilla
Love the description of sarcasm “it’s a black hole at the center of the business communications universe from which there is no escape.” Thanks for sharing!
Glad you liked it! 🙂
Hah, I confess to really disliking long, verbose emails. I’m a big fan of conciseness and efficiency of effort. Â
This idea really appeals to me for those who send long winded notes 🙂
http://www.fastcompany.com/1763820/shortmail-twitter-for-email-has-500-character-limit-forces-conciseness
I’m afraid I definitely write long emails on occasion. Â In my defense, it’s typically when a client has asked me a ‘simple’ question which requires a ‘complex’ answer so I have to not only give the answer itself but then explain to the client *why* the answer was what it was. Â Some appreciate it, some don’t, but they all would admit that if I hadn’t done it they would have sent a followup email asking ‘why’.
My favorite lesson I learned from Eben Pagan about the topic of communication is that the rule of the game is to not be misunderstood. He points this out in the context of advertising and marketing helping business owner shift away from anything that confuses or worse angers people who want to give them money.
I believe this applies also to what you’re teaching here. When I was new to the world of text communication I was definitely guilty of having my message misinterpreted. And only when asking myself, “What can I do to this to make sure it says what I mean for it to?” did I stop firing without aiming.
Thank you Matt for bringing consciousness to this oh-so important topic!
More than welcome Lewis, glad you found it useful.
The one “phrase” that’s been nagging at me a ton lately is not even really a phrase. In fact, it’s not even a word. It’s a letter.
k
You often see it in texts and IMs. For example…you write a long (by IM/text standards) message & the other person replies with … k.
What does that mean? That they understood? That they are in agreement? That they think you are an idiot?
So yeah, Matt … this post resonates with me. K?
k DJ
Sometimes even a small detail like punctuation can make the entire message appear in a certain manner to the readers, which is why extra caution is advised when typing up messages.
Most definitely. Â Although I’d probably delineate the importance of the message relative to the amount of care taken.
Just watched Donnie Brasco last night and after ready this I am thinking about the phrase Fagedaboutit (I am assuming I botched the spelling here) and how it means so many different things. We need to be really careful in digital communications especially since we lose the tone of our voice – physically – and all our body language. We can read the same exact message and interpret it in a completely different way.
Great movie 🙂
This is such an excellent post. I haven’t been conscious with my tone of voice in writing and I’m not aware of how the TOV can make people react differently or even misinterpret it. I think another factor that can contribute to the TOV is the style of words such as capitalizing, italizing, underlining, or striking through and creating bold words. These emphasizes and adds character to the word, phrase or sentence and this we must carefully think of so as not to be misunderstood.
Appreciate the comment John and glad you liked it.
My household is a culmination of walking dictionaries and websters – I completely relate to this dilema!
Thanks for a great post, Matt. Tone is one of the most overlooked aspects in communications today. TOV is crucial.
I, too, often write long-ish emails when I feel they are warranted. If I can answer a slew of questions in advance, thus saving my contact or customer time and energy on a “quick” back and forth, I’m going to do it.Â
One tactic that often helps me – opening with the idea that @AdminitrackBlog:disqus this is a fairly long email, so read it when you have a moment.” I find people appreciate the acknowledgment and respect for their time…