Change is a noun. It’s also a verb. The first one we’re comfortable with, but it’s the nature of the second that typically gives us a hard time.

This is the season for resolutions, when many people take the coming of the New Year as an opportunity to promise themselves change of some kind. To do something differently. To do something at all, or to stop doing something else.

But here’s what I don’t love about resolutions.

Resolutions often become our excuse. We know resolutions live to be broken. We know that there are no consequences, really, if we do. We make jokes all the time about the platitudes we utter and break by the presidents’ birthdays, and for good reason.

The ritual of resolution may actually do more damage to the process of change than good. Because we put our words out there and make promises, we expect the promise to take care of itself. That somehow, by merely speaking our intentions, that we will find the discipline, the attitude, the fortitude even to do what we want to do. We want the words to do the work.

And we have built-in escape hatches, because everyone expects you to break a New Year’s resolution. No one asks you at the end of the year if you completed the promises you made at the beginning. We bake failure right into the concept because we know it’s empty. And by springtime, we allow resolutions to be these sad, forgotten things that sounded so full of hope and promise at the time but that slowly fade into quiet disrepair because we didn’t make them part of what we do and who we are.

I know all of these things because I’ve done them. Not because I’m some sanctimonious jackhole that wants to disparage the practice of resolving to change things. But because I’ve resolved a thousand times, and failed a thousand more. Resolving isn’t enough.

I’ve very quietly adopted a daily resolution – a mantra, I guess – wherein I tell myself this:

I can do this, today and every day, if I want it badly enough.



That last part is really key. It sucks the excuses right out of me. It says Amber, change is in your hands, and if you want to do something differently, you can. No one is going to do it for you.

Sometimes it’s resolving to put change into action as a verb. Sometimes it’s resolving to accept change, the noun, in all it’s messy glory (and most especially when it’s not within my control). Sometimes it’s finding the discipline for small, incremental steps that slowly but surely bring me closer to something I need or want to do. Sometimes, it’s finding the courage to make the big, terrifying leap – the sweeping change – that will change my life for the better, even if the moment in between is scary as hell.

I’ve done both. (I’m actually better at the big, sweeping change than I am the small, incremental one. But I digress…)

If you want to resolve something this New Year, by all means do so. Give yourself a sense of purpose and direction if you need it. Finding a fresh start at the dawn of a new year can be a great way to mentally wipe the slate clean of past failures or missteps and start over again.

But do this, too.

Remind yourself that resolutions don’t live in the confines of confetti and champagne-soaked moments. They’re as important and valuable in the unremarkable days of February or June as they were the day you made them, otherwise they probably weren’t worth making. In fact, you can make a resolution on March 12th. Or May 3rd. Or any other day.

And if changing things is what truly matters to you, your salvation lies in the daily – or even momentary – actions you take, most especially when no one is watching. The act of renewing your resolve, constantly.

You can do this. Today and every day. If you want it badly enough.

May 2011 be your year to shine.